Comment from ExperiencingLiphe

Excellent

We live in a crazy world where you never know what's going to happen. I heard about that just hours after it happened. Makes you realize that you always need to treat today as it were your last.

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013

thanks for reading. sorry I am so late responding. love, jan

Comment from Deorre Leonard

Excellent

December 14th 2012 will be a day that I will remember for as long as I live. Such a tragedy.. We send our kids to school and they are suppose to be safe... God bless the teachers that died and God bless the children and the many families that lost loved ones. Lets pray that we will never ever have another tragedy such as this one...

 Comment Written 25-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2014

thanks for reading - sorry this is so late - love, jan

Comment from Norbanus

Excellent

I'd like to say that your essay might help us to understand how such an evil could happen. But it won't. Nothing will make sense of this horror.

We tell ourselves that we can empathize with the parents. But we can't do that either. Nothing can make a person feel badly enough to feel gief and shock like this must have tiven them.

This well written story is heartwrenching everybody on the planet can relate to these 6 and 7 ear olds children being murdered.

 Comment Written 18-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2014

thanks for reading - sorry this is so late - love, jan

Comment from Lady & Louis

Exceptional

Not much I can add to this, Jan. You've expressed it so well. These events are beyond words, and I can't begin to imagine the additional horror for someone with children. Godspeed to those brave and innocent people, teachers and children. And may the appalling people who say things like "God didn't save the children because there was no prayer in school" be cursed with total self-awareness ...

Love,
Louise

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2014

thanks for reading - sorry this is so late - love, jan

Comment from el twelve

Excellent

your piece was well written and heartwrenching because as you say everybody on the planet can relate to these shootings. thanks for sharing

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2014

thanks for reading - sorry this is so late - love, jan

Comment from Jina Sarma

Excellent

you made me emotional. actually i can not believe myself such a thing happened. i wish i could change what has happened! thank you for writing this with a touch of feel. your writing is really matured.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2014

thanks for reading - sorry this is so late - love, jan

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hi, Jan. How have you been otherwise? Long time since I've been around. Took a break after I finished the book. I am dumbfounded by the shootings. It just seems to me that some thing can be done on some level to help stop this crap though. I did note one thing in your story if you don't mind me pointing it out.

As I followed the conversation , I would have told how many kids were reported dead along with this line ""...kindergarten children and a teacher in Connecticut. There may have been an aide shot, too."

It would seem like just the natural thing a person would do is all. That's part of the horror at first, I think...when I heard it anyway.


Take care. And Merry Christmas if you can under the circumstances. I thin this has put a damper on festivities quite a bit, myself. Bob

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012

thanks for that input, Mastery -- I write for a company called examiner.com -- doesn't pay much but it gives me an opportunity to express my opinion about many things plus it's encouraged me to expand my writing horizons - I've said all that to say I want to try to get this piece published on there as an editorial type piece -- the worst they can say is no -- I will make that change; however, my daughter had no clue how many children had been massacred when she called me because she had only received word-of-mouth news at that point and had not seen the news. Good to see you again. love, jan

Comment from Dan Diego

Excellent

This non-fiction commentary uses a personal experience to introduce the reader to the writer's state of mind. In the aftermath of yet another school shooting, this narrator's internal monologue summarizes the thoughts one must process in their mind when the phone call comes.

I like the way you wove the educator, mother and grandmother reactions into the story beginning.

I found no reason to pause or re-read. The work flowed quite well and all the nouns and verbs were in the right places. I saw no spelling, grammar or punctuation errors along the way.

When you present the facts near the end, you do not pass judgment. To your credit, you just allow the reader to form their own opinion. The South Chicago stat is an eye-opener.

The article ends with "That's one promise I can keep." This is a heartfelt message that is relatable to most readers. And it serves as a bookend with the story title.

I'm glad you wrote this.

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012

thank you so much, Dan, for this in-depth review -- as I have matured, I have learned judgment is not for me to pass. love, jan

Comment from Tithonus50

Excellent

A really powerful and emotional piece of writing. Such young innocent lives who were yet to see so much beauty because of so much evil. Really well written.

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012

Tithonus50: Perhaps one of the good things that comes out of this is those children will never know any more evil. love, jan

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Your words are so true, unfortunately, we cannot make that promise any more. We never know now if we will see any member of our family or friends again when we say cheerio.
What a wicked, sad world we live in. As a child, my parents never had to worry about us runny out free, going to school meant going to learn and being safe, there was never the thought that something bad could happen. Nor was there when my children were children. Now, I worry for my grand children. Your wrote this essay well. xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012

thanks, Sandra - you are so very right -- we used to walk through the woods to the house of friends; down the road; leave your key under a hat next to the door it unlocked -- truly a different time -- love, jan