All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "It's Time"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
75 total reviews
Comment from Keeper Tony
Now this poem has suprised me, in the nicest sense of the word. I love reading poetry even though i cannot write it with any great confidence, and i would normally look for a specific kind of musicality. It's Time is a contradiction to that which i indulge in most because it drew me in from the beginning and kept me hooked until the very last word. This was a thoroughly enjoyable piece of verse that has opened my eyes wider to the varying styles on offer.
Great credit to you for a lovely tale weaved amidst this musical poem.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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Now this poem has suprised me, in the nicest sense of the word. I love reading poetry even though i cannot write it with any great confidence, and i would normally look for a specific kind of musicality. It's Time is a contradiction to that which i indulge in most because it drew me in from the beginning and kept me hooked until the very last word. This was a thoroughly enjoyable piece of verse that has opened my eyes wider to the varying styles on offer.
Great credit to you for a lovely tale weaved amidst this musical poem.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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so glad you enjoyed this one Tony - do read it aloud, and you'll discover the musicality and internal rhyming, even within its free verse form ... Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from mystery poet
Congrats~and winner it is.
Sultry, sensationally sassy and blazing with
heated imagery...could one miss the tantalizing
moments as with moist lips, thoughts rapid and
pulse, well I got the message.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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Congrats~and winner it is.
Sultry, sensationally sassy and blazing with
heated imagery...could one miss the tantalizing
moments as with moist lips, thoughts rapid and
pulse, well I got the message.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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got the subtleties, did you dear? :)))))
thx! Sharyn
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Thanks and yeah!
Great work and a pleasure to
write this review for it...
Comment from Starlit Ink
This is steamy without being vulgar, quite a challenge in this prompt, but you nailed it. I like how you incorporated the sounds of music, and also refer to the music of the soul. The poem is absolutely deserving of a win, so congrats to you!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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This is steamy without being vulgar, quite a challenge in this prompt, but you nailed it. I like how you incorporated the sounds of music, and also refer to the music of the soul. The poem is absolutely deserving of a win, so congrats to you!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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thx so much Starlit! :) Sharyn
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello visionary1234
I can see why you places 1st for the contest
You put me in a romantic mood with the Jazz music and you saying-
eyes meet mine and I expose
the music of my soul
for you and only you
I'll play the dark and folded valleys of your body
and take you soaring over white-capped peaks of fire
Gert
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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Hello visionary1234
I can see why you places 1st for the contest
You put me in a romantic mood with the Jazz music and you saying-
eyes meet mine and I expose
the music of my soul
for you and only you
I'll play the dark and folded valleys of your body
and take you soaring over white-capped peaks of fire
Gert
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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thx so much, Gert! :) Sharyn
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smiles
Gert
Comment from JMRoland
Hi visionary1234,
This sensuous unrhymed poem is marvellously crafted- certainly worthy of a six rating. Sight and sound are provided through artfully chosen words of imagery, and woven throughout is the heat of sexual desire building between the clarinet player and the woman on display. As required for the competition, the scene is projected onto the reader's mind in black and white, again via wisely chosen wordage. Only minor suggestion would be to leave out the contractions ('n, satin'd) which are inclined to have a faint jarring, speed-bump effect.
But overall, this is the real deal: a rare jewel of a poem. Very nicely done. Best of luck in the contest.
JMR
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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Hi visionary1234,
This sensuous unrhymed poem is marvellously crafted- certainly worthy of a six rating. Sight and sound are provided through artfully chosen words of imagery, and woven throughout is the heat of sexual desire building between the clarinet player and the woman on display. As required for the competition, the scene is projected onto the reader's mind in black and white, again via wisely chosen wordage. Only minor suggestion would be to leave out the contractions ('n, satin'd) which are inclined to have a faint jarring, speed-bump effect.
But overall, this is the real deal: a rare jewel of a poem. Very nicely done. Best of luck in the contest.
JMR
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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thx so much JMR! bless you for your magic '6' and good suggestion - I substituted "silken" for satin'd - I don't like contractions either!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from Ekim777
Richly sensual, your first verse reads like a proclamation of a mannequin parade. Don't misunderstand me. I am an incorrigible old romantic. I feel more at home with the second verse. To me a Jazz den is the cultural center of any civilized city. You paint an exciting scene. Then we get down to brass tacks and the suspense is awful or should I say awesome. The lady has poise. Inevitably the apocalyptic meeting of kindred spirits comes together. Our narrator takes the lead and rashly promises the lady, the earth. While the jazz beat reaches its crescendo.-Ekim777
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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Richly sensual, your first verse reads like a proclamation of a mannequin parade. Don't misunderstand me. I am an incorrigible old romantic. I feel more at home with the second verse. To me a Jazz den is the cultural center of any civilized city. You paint an exciting scene. Then we get down to brass tacks and the suspense is awful or should I say awesome. The lady has poise. Inevitably the apocalyptic meeting of kindred spirits comes together. Our narrator takes the lead and rashly promises the lady, the earth. While the jazz beat reaches its crescendo.-Ekim777
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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Well we just LOVE incorrigible old romantics, Ekim! blessings to you for your lovely SIX, too!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from amada
Congratulations in winning this contest, dear Sharyn. For sure I love this theme, music and its instruments. The black and white setting is startling. Wow!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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Congratulations in winning this contest, dear Sharyn. For sure I love this theme, music and its instruments. The black and white setting is startling. Wow!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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thx so much amada! :) Sharyn
Comment from Dawn Munro
LOL - why am I not surprised - wow, not much chance in any prompt you enter, my friend - not with this kind of expressive, beautiful turn of phrase. Fresh, exciting, sultry sex and all visionary1234. (Congrats, Sharyn! Whew, glad I didn't enter! Oh how I wish I still had a six left for this baby! :)
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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LOL - why am I not surprised - wow, not much chance in any prompt you enter, my friend - not with this kind of expressive, beautiful turn of phrase. Fresh, exciting, sultry sex and all visionary1234. (Congrats, Sharyn! Whew, glad I didn't enter! Oh how I wish I still had a six left for this baby! :)
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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thx so much, Dawn!
Comment from God's Writer
What a sensual poem my friend. Congratulations on the contest win. Awesomely written and presented. You to have a very beautiful mind. Thank you for writing this sensually elegant poem.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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What a sensual poem my friend. Congratulations on the contest win. Awesomely written and presented. You to have a very beautiful mind. Thank you for writing this sensually elegant poem.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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thx so much Erick! :) Sharyn
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You are welcome dear one.
Shalom,
Rabbi Erick
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You are welcome.
Comment from speakup
This it a vary well deserved first place win it was well written and easily kept the reader engaged. Great write. The pic and colors are as engaging as the poem thanks for the nice work.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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This it a vary well deserved first place win it was well written and easily kept the reader engaged. Great write. The pic and colors are as engaging as the poem thanks for the nice work.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2012
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thx so much speakup! :) Sharyn
