Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Kayak Jack"A collection of my poems
17 total reviews
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hello. I enjoyed the moral of your story. I found it a little bit difficult to get through though and yes, I believe it was because of the style of writing and some of the choice of words. This was an excellent try though. Thanks for sharing the story. cheers.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Hello. I enjoyed the moral of your story. I found it a little bit difficult to get through though and yes, I believe it was because of the style of writing and some of the choice of words. This was an excellent try though. Thanks for sharing the story. cheers.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Thank you.
Steve
Comment from cvcopac
Yeah, were's the back up--helicopters and all? He didn't bring a cell phone? Ipad? Mr. Grylls is smarter than our Jack, I believe, which is why he's got the TV program. Good story and I enjoyed the imaginative adventure. Best of luck in the contest. cvc
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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Yeah, were's the back up--helicopters and all? He didn't bring a cell phone? Ipad? Mr. Grylls is smarter than our Jack, I believe, which is why he's got the TV program. Good story and I enjoyed the imaginative adventure. Best of luck in the contest. cvc
Comment Written 20-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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I'm afraid a lot of people are smarter than Kayak Jack!
Thanks for the fun review.
Comment from mommerry
this was very well done and the moral gave me a good laugh. I saw nothing I would dare to correct - I sort of wanted to change the word "shore" to "sure" but decided the rhyming needed what you had written.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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this was very well done and the moral gave me a good laugh. I saw nothing I would dare to correct - I sort of wanted to change the word "shore" to "sure" but decided the rhyming needed what you had written.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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Thank you - I hesitated over 'shore' but in the end went with this spelling which is how a lot of people pronounce it anyway.
Comment from honeytree
I loved the art work and the words
Were great and written very well.
I liked the story within these words
You should write more.
honey tree
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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I loved the art work and the words
Were great and written very well.
I liked the story within these words
You should write more.
honey tree
Comment Written 20-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
A wonderful fable in poetic verse. Great rhyming with "nervous" and "Service". I really liked this: "Ouch!
He's suffering from 'stremest dementia." Enjoyed!
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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A wonderful fable in poetic verse. Great rhyming with "nervous" and "Service". I really liked this: "Ouch!
He's suffering from 'stremest dementia." Enjoyed!
Comment Written 20-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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Thank you - glad you enjoyed.
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You are welcome. MN :)
Comment from Curly Girly
I'm not sure if poems are allowed in a writing contest or not... but this was good. I suppose the readers will decide. I loved the punch line! Very funny and witty. I think that this would have been a strong stand alone poem. It reminds me of an 'old' man in NZ, who was about 90, who entered into a kayak contest...and had to be rescued! CG
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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I'm not sure if poems are allowed in a writing contest or not... but this was good. I suppose the readers will decide. I loved the punch line! Very funny and witty. I think that this would have been a strong stand alone poem. It reminds me of an 'old' man in NZ, who was about 90, who entered into a kayak contest...and had to be rescued! CG
Comment Written 20-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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Thank you - glad you enjoyed.
Comment from adewpearl
excellent use of abcb rhyme
I love the Cremation - it is a great poem to teach to middle schoolers :-)
your poem has great cadence worthy of Service
I love the rhyme of adventure/dementia
I'm laughing out loud at walrus jerky LOL
loving the internal rhymes and the way they add to the beat
great humor in your closing :-) This is extremely well-composed, witty and entertaining. Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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excellent use of abcb rhyme
I love the Cremation - it is a great poem to teach to middle schoolers :-)
your poem has great cadence worthy of Service
I love the rhyme of adventure/dementia
I'm laughing out loud at walrus jerky LOL
loving the internal rhymes and the way they add to the beat
great humor in your closing :-) This is extremely well-composed, witty and entertaining. Brooke
Comment Written 20-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012
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Thank you - glad you enjoyed.
Comment from prayingpoet
Cute tale and certainly one that children would enjoy reading or being read to them. I wasn't sure if you followed all the rules exactly, but darn close!
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2012
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Cute tale and certainly one that children would enjoy reading or being read to them. I wasn't sure if you followed all the rules exactly, but darn close!
Comment Written 20-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2012
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Thank you!
Yep, I couldn't make that darn sentence fit into my meter!
In fact only one entrant followed that condition perfectly.
Comment from justjo66
I loved everything about your humorous Northern tale.
Especially the moral to the story. The language was
perfect and it's obvious you are a man/woman of the
North country.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2012
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I loved everything about your humorous Northern tale.
Especially the moral to the story. The language was
perfect and it's obvious you are a man/woman of the
North country.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2012
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Thank you! Bad guess though - try the other side of the globe entirely!
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Well I tried. :O)
Comment from megg_2020
I do know Sam Magee as I was raised listening to my dad recite that when it was colder then hell outside. Very well done, six stars and as soon as the vote opens, a vote towards you. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2012
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I do know Sam Magee as I was raised listening to my dad recite that when it was colder then hell outside. Very well done, six stars and as soon as the vote opens, a vote towards you. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2012
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Thank you, Meg
I tried to get some of Sam Magee's internal rhyme going here.
