The Old Red Rooster Crowed
Quatrains40 total reviews
Comment from Enrique28
This change of pace has turned out an excellent piece of work. Clear images depict a presence of eerie spirits with fine poetic art.
"brown with age and family dirt,
stared back at her through patches"....
An allusion of skeletons in the closet of her ancestors.
Her little song is not enough to keep them at bay. Cleverly concluded with your last stanza, and superbly illustrated. Great stuff!!!
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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This change of pace has turned out an excellent piece of work. Clear images depict a presence of eerie spirits with fine poetic art.
"brown with age and family dirt,
stared back at her through patches"....
An allusion of skeletons in the closet of her ancestors.
Her little song is not enough to keep them at bay. Cleverly concluded with your last stanza, and superbly illustrated. Great stuff!!!
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Thanks Enrique for a wonderful review of this one. A bit different eh?
Comment from Dawn Munro
Jesus, Gungalo, I have a true story to relate about tonight, and your poem just has me shivering, chilled, I swear! I am really freaked out, and I am NOT kidding. I think I will save the story to write it up, but trust me, it is a NON-fiction this time, all the way. I can't even look at your poem again right now - it's too close to what happened before midnight. I sound like a friggin' loon, but wait until you read what I will try to write...then I'll really sound nuts. (Once again, the system won't let me give you six stars, but I would if I could. Really creepy poem, outstanding.)
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Jesus, Gungalo, I have a true story to relate about tonight, and your poem just has me shivering, chilled, I swear! I am really freaked out, and I am NOT kidding. I think I will save the story to write it up, but trust me, it is a NON-fiction this time, all the way. I can't even look at your poem again right now - it's too close to what happened before midnight. I sound like a friggin' loon, but wait until you read what I will try to write...then I'll really sound nuts. (Once again, the system won't let me give you six stars, but I would if I could. Really creepy poem, outstanding.)
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Wonderful Dawn and I can't wait to read your poem. It sounds as if we are going to have freaky two!!
Comment from ernesto escarro
The Old Rooster Crowed
You tell tat in case the demon visit you, you are prepared and so no wonder it can't put you out from fire. Just to gain relief at dawn when the old rooster crowed.
Thanks for sharing, may the lesson you bring be adopted by
other young at heart.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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The Old Rooster Crowed
You tell tat in case the demon visit you, you are prepared and so no wonder it can't put you out from fire. Just to gain relief at dawn when the old rooster crowed.
Thanks for sharing, may the lesson you bring be adopted by
other young at heart.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Thanks Ernesto for a fantastic review.
Comment from visionary1234
This is a strange write Gungalo - not to want to sleep alone, ok - but to be plagued by demonds if you DO sounds pretty nasty!! Change rooms - fast! :)
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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This is a strange write Gungalo - not to want to sleep alone, ok - but to be plagued by demonds if you DO sounds pretty nasty!! Change rooms - fast! :)
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Doesn't work girl. Hehehe it's isn't even real. Just fiction my pretty.
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it's ok - I'm not assuming everything you write is diary format dear!
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LOL.
Comment from ameen786
Oh those eyes! Gunga you sure found the best match for this gruesome write and what an imagery you create my friend....should put a cautionary sign 'to be read in day-time only'--chilling and gravitating vocabulary! Jadoo indeed!
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Oh those eyes! Gunga you sure found the best match for this gruesome write and what an imagery you create my friend....should put a cautionary sign 'to be read in day-time only'--chilling and gravitating vocabulary! Jadoo indeed!
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Thanks Ameen. I hope you liked the story. Hehehe.
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Heard it many times before but never felt the same excitement/delight as reading yours, none has that magic like yours.
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Sigh thanks you.
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi G, I love your story, told with such believability with your usual rhythm and grace,truly a great one. Kindest wishes James xx
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Hi G, I love your story, told with such believability with your usual rhythm and grace,truly a great one. Kindest wishes James xx
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much JJ for a beautiful review of this one.
Comment from kra-z-ka-z
Yep! Sounds like a re-occurring flash back LOL. I used to have an alligator that bite my back each night, and sometimes while I was on my way home too. Oh and the boogie man would chase me as I flew just off the ground him grasping for my feet. As soon as I'd reach the bushes that lined my yard, I was safe. every night. no WONDER I'm twisted huh LOL.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Yep! Sounds like a re-occurring flash back LOL. I used to have an alligator that bite my back each night, and sometimes while I was on my way home too. Oh and the boogie man would chase me as I flew just off the ground him grasping for my feet. As soon as I'd reach the bushes that lined my yard, I was safe. every night. no WONDER I'm twisted huh LOL.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Kate you're not twisted at all just a little weird. LOL. Thanks girl for a fine review.
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Maybe a bit touched lol
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Maybe. LOL.
Comment from Curly Girly
A creepy poem about demons and candles and torment. This would have been suited to Halloween. Thank goodness for crowing roosters and fire places. CG
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reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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A creepy poem about demons and candles and torment. This would have been suited to Halloween. Thank goodness for crowing roosters and fire places. CG
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Heheh CG you make me laugh. This one was not for Halloween.
Comment from zane.c.elliott
I find the perspective of the poem to be unusual (read: good), and combined with the strict syllabic length, which to me lends a archaic quality, combines very neatly.
Indeed, I find this poem carries a nice mixture of romantic poetry influence, with a contemporary take.
This shows up with some moments of great imagery, most obviously the "old red rooster crowed", "jumped then slithered", and "naught that she tried". These couple lines really stand out, with a unique purpose, an intention and creativity that works well. However, in contrast to these lines, some of the language strays to far into the cliche, noting the "dark shadows on the wall", and the "ev'ning past midnight". Compared to the aforementioned lines, these two tropes, the dark shadows, midnight demons, is over-used in poetry, sort of like the imagery of the moon.
In terms of revision, this poem possesses an already wonderful perspective, but could more fully explore that demonic darkness with unique language.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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I find the perspective of the poem to be unusual (read: good), and combined with the strict syllabic length, which to me lends a archaic quality, combines very neatly.
Indeed, I find this poem carries a nice mixture of romantic poetry influence, with a contemporary take.
This shows up with some moments of great imagery, most obviously the "old red rooster crowed", "jumped then slithered", and "naught that she tried". These couple lines really stand out, with a unique purpose, an intention and creativity that works well. However, in contrast to these lines, some of the language strays to far into the cliche, noting the "dark shadows on the wall", and the "ev'ning past midnight". Compared to the aforementioned lines, these two tropes, the dark shadows, midnight demons, is over-used in poetry, sort of like the imagery of the moon.
In terms of revision, this poem possesses an already wonderful perspective, but could more fully explore that demonic darkness with unique language.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Thanks so very much Zane for a beautiful review.
Comment from His Grayness
OMG! Awsome...simply awsome! What power in word and totally capturing graphics! I was there in that shocking place and felt the terror, the waste, the dark, the scorn, and the very helplessness of that one torn!
Shocking and moving! Great writing! HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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OMG! Awsome...simply awsome! What power in word and totally capturing graphics! I was there in that shocking place and felt the terror, the waste, the dark, the scorn, and the very helplessness of that one torn!
Shocking and moving! Great writing! HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Thanks so much Vance. Really a great review for this one and it's rather long too.
