Cookie Snatching And Stealing
A rhyming short story for children34 total reviews
Comment from steevie
Interesting story, Eric. I think children would like the repeating of end lines, which helps them to remember what they have read.
Well done
steve
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Interesting story, Eric. I think children would like the repeating of end lines, which helps them to remember what they have read.
Well done
steve
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Thanks much
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ur welcome
Comment from Deorre Leonard
Cookie Snatching and Stealing!! LOL I like this creative and unique piece it has a good flow. The picture adds to the presentation. Well done. Deorre
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Cookie Snatching and Stealing!! LOL I like this creative and unique piece it has a good flow. The picture adds to the presentation. Well done. Deorre
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Thanks much
Comment from c_lucas
In its own way, you have created a modern Aesop fable. This is definite a bullseye on your selected audience. It is very well written.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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In its own way, you have created a modern Aesop fable. This is definite a bullseye on your selected audience. It is very well written.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Thanks much
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You're welcome, Eric. Charlie
Comment from donaldww
I enjoyed reading your poem about cookie snatching and stealing. Starting on L4, however, it becomes a mono-rhyme, which I found tedious by the end of the poem. I'm wondering if you could vary the end line, say when moving between speakers?
Also wondering why you didn't post under poetry?
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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I enjoyed reading your poem about cookie snatching and stealing. Starting on L4, however, it becomes a mono-rhyme, which I found tedious by the end of the poem. I'm wondering if you could vary the end line, say when moving between speakers?
Also wondering why you didn't post under poetry?
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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I just wanted to see if people would view it as a story and find any moral...Its about half and half
Comment from prayingpoet
Great lesson for children that they don't need to rely on stealing to get something they need or want. Great job and thanks for writing.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Great lesson for children that they don't need to rely on stealing to get something they need or want. Great job and thanks for writing.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Your the first one to make such a comment..I was wondering if it was only me who could see that
Comment from Curtis Hatch
The story is well-written and thought out to fit the mind of a child. Each has his vices, but for many youngsters (and adults), it's cookie stealing.
Curtis
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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The story is well-written and thought out to fit the mind of a child. Each has his vices, but for many youngsters (and adults), it's cookie stealing.
Curtis
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Thanks Much
Comment from fictionwriter
Cute little rhyme, but isn't this more a poem than a story? I loved the sing-song nature of the thing, but it was unclear if this was an adult or a child, as a child wouldn't be able to roof or some of the other things suggested. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Cute little rhyme, but isn't this more a poem than a story? I loved the sing-song nature of the thing, but it was unclear if this was an adult or a child, as a child wouldn't be able to roof or some of the other things suggested. Well done.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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I guess your right..It's a poem with a story of a cookie snatcher that changes his ways after a long career of mischief. thanks for the 5
Comment from Spike the second
Blimey this had me squealing and then had me kneeling. I love the sequence of sound a like words. But I am suprised they didn't make you put this in poetry. My stories they did as they said it was poetry as they were rhyming couplets. Oh well whatever it's in it is very good indeed.
Spike
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Blimey this had me squealing and then had me kneeling. I love the sequence of sound a like words. But I am suprised they didn't make you put this in poetry. My stories they did as they said it was poetry as they were rhyming couplets. Oh well whatever it's in it is very good indeed.
Spike
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Thanks much...I like to call it a rhyming story...all poems are stories..
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Eric you are so right. I still cannot understand why FS made me put mine in poems.
Great writing
Spike
Comment from Angels27
What a lovely cookie stealing poem with such a lovely rhyming simple yet profound meaning in the above lines. I love reading work for children. The right mix of simplicity...moral...and interest is a very dine balancing act.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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What a lovely cookie stealing poem with such a lovely rhyming simple yet profound meaning in the above lines. I love reading work for children. The right mix of simplicity...moral...and interest is a very dine balancing act.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Good review..appreciate those comments ;)
Comment from adewpearl
strong rhymes - love the proximate rhyme of thrilling/building
Your lines have a smooth flow
and I love the humor in portraying this cookie snatcher LOL
]good alliteration in phrases like picking or peeling, milling or mealing
love the list of things he doesn't feel his hands are suited for :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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strong rhymes - love the proximate rhyme of thrilling/building
Your lines have a smooth flow
and I love the humor in portraying this cookie snatcher LOL
]good alliteration in phrases like picking or peeling, milling or mealing
love the list of things he doesn't feel his hands are suited for :-) Brooke
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Good review..appreciate those comments ;)
