Reviews from

Cookie Snatching And Stealing

A rhyming short story for children

34 total reviews 
Comment from steevie
Excellent
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Interesting story, Eric. I think children would like the repeating of end lines, which helps them to remember what they have read.

Well done
steve

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    Thanks much
reply by steevie on 09-Nov-2012
    ur welcome
Comment from Deorre Leonard
Excellent
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Cookie Snatching and Stealing!! LOL I like this creative and unique piece it has a good flow. The picture adds to the presentation. Well done. Deorre

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    Thanks much
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
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In its own way, you have created a modern Aesop fable. This is definite a bullseye on your selected audience. It is very well written.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    Thanks much
reply by c_lucas on 09-Nov-2012
    You're welcome, Eric. Charlie
Comment from donaldww
Excellent
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I enjoyed reading your poem about cookie snatching and stealing. Starting on L4, however, it becomes a mono-rhyme, which I found tedious by the end of the poem. I'm wondering if you could vary the end line, say when moving between speakers?

Also wondering why you didn't post under poetry?

Cheers,
DW

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    I just wanted to see if people would view it as a story and find any moral...Its about half and half
Comment from prayingpoet
Excellent
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Great lesson for children that they don't need to rely on stealing to get something they need or want. Great job and thanks for writing.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    Your the first one to make such a comment..I was wondering if it was only me who could see that
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Excellent
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The story is well-written and thought out to fit the mind of a child. Each has his vices, but for many youngsters (and adults), it's cookie stealing.

Curtis

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    Thanks Much
Comment from fictionwriter
Excellent
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Cute little rhyme, but isn't this more a poem than a story? I loved the sing-song nature of the thing, but it was unclear if this was an adult or a child, as a child wouldn't be able to roof or some of the other things suggested. Well done.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    I guess your right..It's a poem with a story of a cookie snatcher that changes his ways after a long career of mischief. thanks for the 5
Comment from Spike the second
Excellent
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Blimey this had me squealing and then had me kneeling. I love the sequence of sound a like words. But I am suprised they didn't make you put this in poetry. My stories they did as they said it was poetry as they were rhyming couplets. Oh well whatever it's in it is very good indeed.

Spike

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    Thanks much...I like to call it a rhyming story...all poems are stories..
reply by Spike the second on 09-Nov-2012
    Eric you are so right. I still cannot understand why FS made me put mine in poems.

    Great writing

    Spike
Comment from Angels27
Excellent
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What a lovely cookie stealing poem with such a lovely rhyming simple yet profound meaning in the above lines. I love reading work for children. The right mix of simplicity...moral...and interest is a very dine balancing act.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    Good review..appreciate those comments ;)
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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strong rhymes - love the proximate rhyme of thrilling/building
Your lines have a smooth flow
and I love the humor in portraying this cookie snatcher LOL
]good alliteration in phrases like picking or peeling, milling or mealing
love the list of things he doesn't feel his hands are suited for :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
    Good review..appreciate those comments ;)