Borderland
in the style of Bukowski46 total reviews
Comment from words
What a powerful write, Bev.
You have, indeed, captured what it must have been like for a woman in a mental institution at that time.
I especially liked:unrelenting needles
bare my blood
to the air and beasts
healers they tell me
heartless captors if you must know
licensed to demean
trafficking in rigor mortis
The use of "rigor mortis" here ... instead of the gentler "death" ... pounds the message home.
Well done.
Hugs, your fan, d
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2013
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What a powerful write, Bev.
You have, indeed, captured what it must have been like for a woman in a mental institution at that time.
I especially liked:unrelenting needles
bare my blood
to the air and beasts
healers they tell me
heartless captors if you must know
licensed to demean
trafficking in rigor mortis
The use of "rigor mortis" here ... instead of the gentler "death" ... pounds the message home.
Well done.
Hugs, your fan, d
Comment Written 24-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2013
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Thank you so much, d. I am honored by your words of encouragement for this poem. The quiet suffering of people with mental health challenges is on ongoing concern of mine, so I am especially grateful for your supportive words.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Eleanor Buron
I read Margaret and am familiar with the chapter referred to in your notes. I think you flawlessly capture the trauma and drama of the scene. The poem has unusual perspective because the point of view is as true from an onlooker AND from one 'inside' experiencing what it's like being "a madwoman buried beyond a distant bell of hope"
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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I read Margaret and am familiar with the chapter referred to in your notes. I think you flawlessly capture the trauma and drama of the scene. The poem has unusual perspective because the point of view is as true from an onlooker AND from one 'inside' experiencing what it's like being "a madwoman buried beyond a distant bell of hope"
Comment Written 10-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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Hi, Elly. I am very honored to receive such a wonderful review from a poet I admire so much! Thank you for taking time out to read my poem and for being so gracious with your insights. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Littlegirl38732
This is an awesome poem! But man! I cannot imagine the torture and hell people receiving help for mental illness endured in that day and time! I was watching something on BIO awhile back about it, and it ease just heartbreaking. You did a great job of expressing all of that. Best wishes
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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This is an awesome poem! But man! I cannot imagine the torture and hell people receiving help for mental illness endured in that day and time! I was watching something on BIO awhile back about it, and it ease just heartbreaking. You did a great job of expressing all of that. Best wishes
Comment Written 10-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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Thanks for the awesome review, Littlegirl. I really appreciate your insights and generosity! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from steevie
This poem reminds me of the quote, 'Ask not for whom the bell tolls'.
Your poetry describes a woman in a nightmarish condition and is helpless to change her own circumstances. Your imagery is crisp and clear, and use of metaphors is skillful.
a great write
steve
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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This poem reminds me of the quote, 'Ask not for whom the bell tolls'.
Your poetry describes a woman in a nightmarish condition and is helpless to change her own circumstances. Your imagery is crisp and clear, and use of metaphors is skillful.
a great write
steve
Comment Written 10-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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Thank you much, steevie. I appreciate you choosing to read and review so generously. Warm regards, Bev
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You're most welcome, Bev
steve
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This poem is a very strong contest entry. I enjoyed reading it. It flowed smoothly and the description and emotions are excellent. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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This poem is a very strong contest entry. I enjoyed reading it. It flowed smoothly and the description and emotions are excellent. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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Barbara, thank you much for taking to read and review my poem. I really appreciate the generous review and good luck wishes. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from missy98writer
Bev,
Your free verse is marvelously written with strong imagery.
The art work is wicked awesome you used.
Your narrative is dark and emotional.
In your meaningful
free verse you used
excellent poetic devices of allitetation and metaphor.
Your meter usage is great.
I enjoyed your lines:
screams scourge my brain
I want to help
but I, too, am rendered powerless
our movements vicariously condemned
what harm is a madwoman
buried beyond
a distant bell of hope
I wish you good luck in the Free Verse Poetry Poem contest.
Would I recommend your free verde to other reviewers,
Keep on writing with creativity.
Please have a nice weekend,
Melissa.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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Bev,
Your free verse is marvelously written with strong imagery.
The art work is wicked awesome you used.
Your narrative is dark and emotional.
In your meaningful
free verse you used
excellent poetic devices of allitetation and metaphor.
Your meter usage is great.
I enjoyed your lines:
screams scourge my brain
I want to help
but I, too, am rendered powerless
our movements vicariously condemned
what harm is a madwoman
buried beyond
a distant bell of hope
I wish you good luck in the Free Verse Poetry Poem contest.
Would I recommend your free verde to other reviewers,
Keep on writing with creativity.
Please have a nice weekend,
Melissa.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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Melissa, thank you so much for this generous and very thorough review. I sure appreciate the support and your good luck wishes. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from l.raven
OMG, This truly describes how you see what mental illness is like and what it does to a person. It is very sad. Your poem is very well written. Margaret is a very talented writer.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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OMG, This truly describes how you see what mental illness is like and what it does to a person. It is very sad. Your poem is very well written. Margaret is a very talented writer.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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Yes, she is. Thanks for the great review, l.raven. Much appreciate you stopping by! Bev
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hey there Lady
This is such a wonderfully written, crafted, and thought out poem. It is a superb Free Verse Poetry Contest contest entry, and I think you'll do well
Bear
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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Hey there Lady
This is such a wonderfully written, crafted, and thought out poem. It is a superb Free Verse Poetry Contest contest entry, and I think you'll do well
Bear
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2012
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Hi, Bear. Thank you for taking time to read and review my poem. I really appreciate your support and generous review! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Humbly K
A very enjoyable read, brilliantly descriptive and creative. This pulls various emotional strings. I especially liked the opening, brilliant.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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A very enjoyable read, brilliantly descriptive and creative. This pulls various emotional strings. I especially liked the opening, brilliant.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Thank you so very much for your supportive and generous review, H. I really appreciate it! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Writingfundimension,
Interesting theme for a poem and a well executed one. You cover the inhuman 'treatments' well in broad strokes.
One of the disgraces is that a parent could commit a daughter to a mental institution for life for simply being caught with a boy he didn't approve of.
Patrick
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Hi Writingfundimension,
Interesting theme for a poem and a well executed one. You cover the inhuman 'treatments' well in broad strokes.
One of the disgraces is that a parent could commit a daughter to a mental institution for life for simply being caught with a boy he didn't approve of.
Patrick
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Thanks so much, Patrick. I had no idea of the scope of abuses such as you mention. I've been informed of such things through various reviews.
I really appreciate your supportive and generous review.
Warm regards, Bev
