Take a Look Around
Too many people take things for granted.8 total reviews
Comment from Cool Beans
Great message within these 17 syllables. THe title helps the reader understand that we need to take a moment and look around at what we have and not take it for granted. Love IS too often lost-great line!~CB
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Great message within these 17 syllables. THe title helps the reader understand that we need to take a moment and look around at what we have and not take it for granted. Love IS too often lost-great line!~CB
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
Comment from J. P. Egry
this is a lovely and meaningful 5-7-5 that reminds us in a few words what we all know deep down but often do not fully realize--until it's too late, or until we're older and wiser. Whether we like it or not, life is on its own fast track and can easily pass us by while we're waiting for something "better" to happen. You've captured that meaning and the urgency held within it very well.
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this is a lovely and meaningful 5-7-5 that reminds us in a few words what we all know deep down but often do not fully realize--until it's too late, or until we're older and wiser. Whether we like it or not, life is on its own fast track and can easily pass us by while we're waiting for something "better" to happen. You've captured that meaning and the urgency held within it very well.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2012
Comment from Gungalo
We have one lifetime,
When it's surely not enough.
Love's too often lost...
A great five/seven/five poetry. This says when it's surely not enough ... I wonder when that is?
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We have one lifetime,
When it's surely not enough.
Love's too often lost...
A great five/seven/five poetry. This says when it's surely not enough ... I wonder when that is?
Comment Written 02-Nov-2012
Comment from chromeangel33
Great message! I feel the message could be better utilized in a longer poem. You are right, life is to short so we should take advantage of the gifts we are given.
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Great message! I feel the message could be better utilized in a longer poem. You are right, life is to short so we should take advantage of the gifts we are given.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2012
Comment from atlas-manoftherain
I can't stress enough how much this has been done and how odd it is to me that people still write the same thing over and over and over and over ..... You could have said,
"You only live once!" (which has turned into YOLO I believe?) "You got one life to live!" I mean these are cliched lines that people use daily and I cringe at that. To see it almost verbatim in a poem is a little alarming to me.
Then, in the last line you almost do a nonsequitur; Of course I undestand how the first two lines can (and do) relate to the last line, as love is too often lost in this life and we need to try to make sure it's NOT because we only have one life to live. However, a Haiku needs to be TIGHT. You've got three short lines to make something congealed and have IMPACT. And when it's a little loosely strung together for the sake of having your whole point come across, it seems sloppy.
The only good part about this was that it followed the 5-7-5 structure. I'm sorry if that all seemed harsh, but everyone should receive honest reviews and I could give this nothing less than that.
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I can't stress enough how much this has been done and how odd it is to me that people still write the same thing over and over and over and over ..... You could have said,
"You only live once!" (which has turned into YOLO I believe?) "You got one life to live!" I mean these are cliched lines that people use daily and I cringe at that. To see it almost verbatim in a poem is a little alarming to me.
Then, in the last line you almost do a nonsequitur; Of course I undestand how the first two lines can (and do) relate to the last line, as love is too often lost in this life and we need to try to make sure it's NOT because we only have one life to live. However, a Haiku needs to be TIGHT. You've got three short lines to make something congealed and have IMPACT. And when it's a little loosely strung together for the sake of having your whole point come across, it seems sloppy.
The only good part about this was that it followed the 5-7-5 structure. I'm sorry if that all seemed harsh, but everyone should receive honest reviews and I could give this nothing less than that.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2012
Comment from GroundedAngel
It makes me wonder how many people squander precious time with the people they love in their life. Would they ' spend ' it differently if they knew when their time was up. Profound and enjoyable piece.
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It makes me wonder how many people squander precious time with the people they love in their life. Would they ' spend ' it differently if they knew when their time was up. Profound and enjoyable piece.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2012
Comment from Heaven Bound
Very nicely done. What a sad story to have wasted a lifetime not giving away or receiving love. I really like the color combination.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2012
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Very nicely done. What a sad story to have wasted a lifetime not giving away or receiving love. I really like the color combination.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2012
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thank you very much for taking the time to review.
Comment from terry drake
Yes you are right and I am tired of waiting for my true love. I do not know how to tell you that I have waited for you all this time but my nose keeps getting in the way.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2012
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Yes you are right and I am tired of waiting for my true love. I do not know how to tell you that I have waited for you all this time but my nose keeps getting in the way.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2012
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thank you. i appreciate the feedback
