Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Mounting Evidence"A collection of my poems
56 total reviews
Comment from bard owl
Ah, such crimes of indiscretion seldom go unpunished. Your rhyme and meter are spot on and your tale sad but funny at the same time. Good luck in the contest. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Ah, such crimes of indiscretion seldom go unpunished. Your rhyme and meter are spot on and your tale sad but funny at the same time. Good luck in the contest. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thanks, Linda - I liked your entry too.
Steve
Comment from yonashalom
Uhh, can we shoot this guy? LOL. He sounds so lame, full of excuses. Advice to woman on the other end, RUN. This guy is a loser. Good adherence to the rules for this poem. Funny poem about a serious matter. Good luck. ~Yona
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Uhh, can we shoot this guy? LOL. He sounds so lame, full of excuses. Advice to woman on the other end, RUN. This guy is a loser. Good adherence to the rules for this poem. Funny poem about a serious matter. Good luck. ~Yona
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thank you, Yona - there are some absolutely wonderful entries in this contest - worth taking a lokk if you haven't already done so.
Steve
Comment from Curly Girly
A funny verse about a cheating basket-case. He will be walking the streets now. Serves him right. Well done, for all the well thought out humour though. CG
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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A funny verse about a cheating basket-case. He will be walking the streets now. Serves him right. Well done, for all the well thought out humour though. CG
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thank you, CG - there are some absolutely wonderful entries in this contest - worth taking a look if you haven't already done so.
Steve
Comment from alexisleech
I so wish I had a six for this! It's absolutely brilliant. I love amusing poems at the best of times, but the sarcastic humour and excellent rhyme in this one make it truly outstanding. Well done, and good luck in the writing prompt, I'm sure you'll do very well! Alexis x
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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I so wish I had a six for this! It's absolutely brilliant. I love amusing poems at the best of times, but the sarcastic humour and excellent rhyme in this one make it truly outstanding. Well done, and good luck in the writing prompt, I'm sure you'll do very well! Alexis x
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thank you, Alexis - there are some absolutely wonderful entries in this contest - worth taking a look if you haven't already done so.
Steve
Comment from Curtis Hatch
This is an excellent poem about an unfortunate condition. Marital infidelity is not a rare situation. Each excuse in the poem is used multiple times each day somewhere in the world...probably in any town USA. There is nothing that destroys trust faster than the lies that accompany affairs. The poem would be funny if it weren't so serious.
Curtis
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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This is an excellent poem about an unfortunate condition. Marital infidelity is not a rare situation. Each excuse in the poem is used multiple times each day somewhere in the world...probably in any town USA. There is nothing that destroys trust faster than the lies that accompany affairs. The poem would be funny if it weren't so serious.
Curtis
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thanks, Curtis. What has upset me a little bit is that so many FanStorians say they relate to this through personal experience.
There are some absolutely wonderful entries in this contest - worth taking a look if you haven't already done so.
Steve
Comment from nomi338
What a loser. How many times can a man be caught out and still lie with a straight face, hoping impossibly to be believed? I know that it's true some men were born to be single. Women, stop marrying these men, they will never be true for as long as you want or need them to be. It is not in their nature.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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What a loser. How many times can a man be caught out and still lie with a straight face, hoping impossibly to be believed? I know that it's true some men were born to be single. Women, stop marrying these men, they will never be true for as long as you want or need them to be. It is not in their nature.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thanks. What has upset me a little bit is that so many FanStorians say they relate to this through personal experience.
There are some absolutely wonderful entries in this contest - worth taking a look if you haven't already done so.
Steve
Comment from mizzkris20
LOL! I enjoyed reading your work. It was a pleasure reading it.
Thank you for sharing such fine art. Awesome!
You have done an amazing job. congrats!
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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LOL! I enjoyed reading your work. It was a pleasure reading it.
Thank you for sharing such fine art. Awesome!
You have done an amazing job. congrats!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thanks.
There are some absolutely wonderful entries in this contest - worth taking a look if you haven't already done so.
Steve
Comment from Sally Carter
Oh heck, I think I gave my last 6 of the week to the contest organiser - which I guess is kind of just.
However, she must be so thrilled with this entry, which would have got that 6 if I had read it first.
You are SO good at humorous poetry Steve. It would be easy to make a poem about a cheating spouse a bit tacky, but this is so well done, who could not laugh? I certainly did.
Inspired rhymes, impeccable meter. You are a good ambassador for light, quality verse.
If you've never come across it, and if I'm not repeating myself, check out an online light verse magazine called Lighten Up Online. There is some good stuff in it which you might enjoy.
I think you may well have another winner in the wings with this one.
Best wishes
Sally
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Oh heck, I think I gave my last 6 of the week to the contest organiser - which I guess is kind of just.
However, she must be so thrilled with this entry, which would have got that 6 if I had read it first.
You are SO good at humorous poetry Steve. It would be easy to make a poem about a cheating spouse a bit tacky, but this is so well done, who could not laugh? I certainly did.
Inspired rhymes, impeccable meter. You are a good ambassador for light, quality verse.
If you've never come across it, and if I'm not repeating myself, check out an online light verse magazine called Lighten Up Online. There is some good stuff in it which you might enjoy.
I think you may well have another winner in the wings with this one.
Best wishes
Sally
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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More than just - I reckon her poem was superb and should win.
No I've never heard of Lighten Up but I will take a look. Do they take submissions?
I was looking for magazines to submit to here in NZ and was pleased to find a list - checked out every website, every example poem, did not find one rhyming piece (even when they claimed to accept all forms of poetry)
As for winning this - I don't think so, although it has a lot of good reviews - unfortunately it has struck a chord with too many people who have experienced this in real life!
Steve
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Yes, they do take submissions. Go for it. There is some real quality stuff there; not just laugh aloud funny, but wry observations about human characteristics etc. When it says "light" it also means non up one's arse.
I shall try to watch the booths on this one.
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Thanks - have just sent them three pieces for consideration - hard task choosing - do you know how many of my own poems I don't even remember if I just see their title?!
I see your name on the poets' list but haven't found your poems yet.
Steve
Comment from Janice Canerdy
If I had a 6 left, you'd get it for sure. This is a great entry for this contest. I also sounds like the basis for an episode of "Snapped" (tv series about women who go bonkers and kill some man!).
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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If I had a 6 left, you'd get it for sure. This is a great entry for this contest. I also sounds like the basis for an episode of "Snapped" (tv series about women who go bonkers and kill some man!).
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thanks, Janice, for the great review and the virtual six. Some great entries in this contest.
Steve
Comment from l.raven
Steve, I laugh my ass of. This is so funny. Reminded me of my ex. He put his motel bill on our visa. It wasn't me. I served him the visa statement at dinner on a plate. He looked at me like it was nothing. He said OH it will never happen again. I just said REALLY!!!DIVORCED!! LOL I love this. A great write. You have great rhythm and rhymes and the picture tells the story. Your form is perfect. Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Steve, I laugh my ass of. This is so funny. Reminded me of my ex. He put his motel bill on our visa. It wasn't me. I served him the visa statement at dinner on a plate. He looked at me like it was nothing. He said OH it will never happen again. I just said REALLY!!!DIVORCED!! LOL I love this. A great write. You have great rhythm and rhymes and the picture tells the story. Your form is perfect. Linda xxoo
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thanks, Linda - that is one of the saddest things - the number of FanStory women who have responded to the poem saying they have personal experience.
Steve
