Curtain Call
So happy to be stuck on you.82 total reviews
Comment from amada
A very good story. A lesson as well, so nice to have a little affair with the wife, or husband, as well. It was a great read. That fortune teller really knew her part.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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A very good story. A lesson as well, so nice to have a little affair with the wife, or husband, as well. It was a great read. That fortune teller really knew her part.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Hi, Amada. Yes, the fortuneteller was a good one wasn't she? LOL..Thanks so much. Bob
Comment from sunnilicious
This certainly is the perfect time for a fortune telling story. Sweaty palms needs a candy bowl. And I grew scared. Well, a love story with some role playing. Good dialogue. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
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This certainly is the perfect time for a fortune telling story. Sweaty palms needs a candy bowl. And I grew scared. Well, a love story with some role playing. Good dialogue. Nicely done.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
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Hi, Alicia. I really appreciate your time and the six stars. your encouraging words make my day. What a sweetheart you are truly. Bob
Comment from Vladilynn
Hi Bob!!
Thought to stop by:0)
Delightful and satisfying read. I like the plot, hinted it's the wife but still I'd a good time reading it. That will be nice to have some fun within a marriage, spice, spice, spice it up! LOL
I like this parts;
wore a rug on his head that looked a lot like fresh road kill.
I'll spread sauce all over you and work you like a rib. You are one heart-stopping hot Daddy."
I'm laughing so hard. LMAO
You've the wit writing it:)
Thank you for sharing.
Love much,
Lynn:0)
btw: Never saw you in my Novel when I posted last time, I wondered for a bit(tease).LOL
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
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Hi Bob!!
Thought to stop by:0)
Delightful and satisfying read. I like the plot, hinted it's the wife but still I'd a good time reading it. That will be nice to have some fun within a marriage, spice, spice, spice it up! LOL
I like this parts;
wore a rug on his head that looked a lot like fresh road kill.
I'll spread sauce all over you and work you like a rib. You are one heart-stopping hot Daddy."
I'm laughing so hard. LMAO
You've the wit writing it:)
Thank you for sharing.
Love much,
Lynn:0)
btw: Never saw you in my Novel when I posted last time, I wondered for a bit(tease).LOL
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
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Hi, Lynn. Please forgive me if I don't remember you or your novel. LOL...I'm Not entirely sure what you are referring to in your remark about missing me there? LOL..I thank you sincerely for the review and six stars you have given me here. How generous of you. I will try to watch closer for your postings also. Bob (Mastery)
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Lol....Hmmmm, I can only recall that every time , I posted my naughty stories. You're there cheering me up and finding my nits(with your Eagle eyes)! LOL
Actually I just posted a Horror one, today(wink).
And you're welcome and the sixer is well deserved for your story! I hope you got my message congratulating you for winning the story of the month, actually Novel of the month?
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Aaaah yes. Please forgive my memory...I am very appreciative of all you do, Lynn. I will try to get to your new story...asap. Bob
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LMAO! Thank you Bob, you're just such an awesome person! hugs!:)
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
You have a brilliant ending, Bob. I was totally thrown by the sexual encounter at first, in fact I had the man down as a cad, In the end he was really back with his wife having a romantic interlude. Very clever and a moral really to the story. Giddy
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
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You have a brilliant ending, Bob. I was totally thrown by the sexual encounter at first, in fact I had the man down as a cad, In the end he was really back with his wife having a romantic interlude. Very clever and a moral really to the story. Giddy
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
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Hi, Giddy. I am so glad you liked my story. You have always been such a steady fan...I'd hate to lose you. Thanks so much, Bob
Comment from L.lora
From your accomplished pen
you give us a wonderful erotic
romp and a very sage message/
lesson to be learned. Very smooth
and easy to read, flows well. Your
narratives are definitely descriptive
and the complimentary dialogue a definite
bonus. No nits or spags. Lora
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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From your accomplished pen
you give us a wonderful erotic
romp and a very sage message/
lesson to be learned. Very smooth
and easy to read, flows well. Your
narratives are definitely descriptive
and the complimentary dialogue a definite
bonus. No nits or spags. Lora
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Thanks so much, Lora. I appreciate this so much. Blessings....Bob
Comment from jjstar
Okay, you had me fooled for a few minutes. When he threw the rug off, I knew it was his wife...if it was truly another more reckless type of woman, she'd probably demand to do it herself..or just take the initiative. A delightful story. A great idea to steal some time away together.
The tiny house with its steeply pitched roof and old-fashioned front porch, looked as though it might once have served as a mom-and-pop grocery store. A sign in faded Chinese characters still lingered over the front door, which was inset into the right front corner of the building. Inside, the shades on all the windows were pulled all the way down.
===might be a bit much. I found myself a little distracted from the story. I was focusing more on the store than on Arnie....
the walls of their memory-- flashes of color in the black-and white night.
===beautiful...
Everything in Arnie's horoscope was positive--had been for some time.===hmmpphhh must be nice.
wore a rug on his head that looked a lot like fresh road kill.==funny!
at the cocktail hour sky.===hmmm interesting...never have seen it described that way. Yes, it works well for me...hahaha
preferably good not bad by the way===might need a comma after not..I'm kind of thinking after good as well.
I'll spread sauce all over you and work you like a rib. You are one heart-stopping hot Daddy."
===laughing out loud....
The tiny house with its steeply pitched roof and old-fashioned front porch, looked as though it might once have served as a mom-and-pop grocery store. A sign in faded Chinese characters still lingered over the front door, which was inset into the right front corner of the building. Inside, the shades on all the windows were pulled all the way down.
===might be a bit much. I found myself a little distracted from the story. I was focusing more on the store than on Arnie....
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Okay, you had me fooled for a few minutes. When he threw the rug off, I knew it was his wife...if it was truly another more reckless type of woman, she'd probably demand to do it herself..or just take the initiative. A delightful story. A great idea to steal some time away together.
The tiny house with its steeply pitched roof and old-fashioned front porch, looked as though it might once have served as a mom-and-pop grocery store. A sign in faded Chinese characters still lingered over the front door, which was inset into the right front corner of the building. Inside, the shades on all the windows were pulled all the way down.
===might be a bit much. I found myself a little distracted from the story. I was focusing more on the store than on Arnie....
the walls of their memory-- flashes of color in the black-and white night.
===beautiful...
Everything in Arnie's horoscope was positive--had been for some time.===hmmpphhh must be nice.
wore a rug on his head that looked a lot like fresh road kill.==funny!
at the cocktail hour sky.===hmmm interesting...never have seen it described that way. Yes, it works well for me...hahaha
preferably good not bad by the way===might need a comma after not..I'm kind of thinking after good as well.
I'll spread sauce all over you and work you like a rib. You are one heart-stopping hot Daddy."
===laughing out loud....
The tiny house with its steeply pitched roof and old-fashioned front porch, looked as though it might once have served as a mom-and-pop grocery store. A sign in faded Chinese characters still lingered over the front door, which was inset into the right front corner of the building. Inside, the shades on all the windows were pulled all the way down.
===might be a bit much. I found myself a little distracted from the story. I was focusing more on the store than on Arnie....
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Hi, jj. Thank you so very much for your wonderfully thorough review. I will definitely take into account your suggestions, btw. Glad you liked this one. Bob
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You're very welcome..and sorry. Didn't know that one suggestion was in there twice..arghhh. Such a fun story!
Comment from Stalking Wolf
I'd say this deserves the 6, plenty of emotion and drama, but holding to the contest lines of romance, the affair was with his wife, very cool, luck with contest.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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I'd say this deserves the 6, plenty of emotion and drama, but holding to the contest lines of romance, the affair was with his wife, very cool, luck with contest.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Thanks so much, Stalking Wolf. So glad you liked this one and I am very appreciative of the six stars. Wow! Bob
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Thought it was worth it.
Comment from suneagle
Hi Bob. Interesting story, but the POV wanders a lot during your narration--it was a bit disturbing to a discerning reader. Also, I guessed Maureen was the fortuneteller as soon as the sensual part began. Good plot, though.
I've noted some observations for you to consider:
At [forty-three years of age], he still hadn't learned to relax.
His steps appeared to be hurried as he made his way from the parking spot he managed to find.
("appeared" to whom? The narration is jumping from Arnie himself to some external omniscience.)
Entering a dimly lit room he looked about as calm as a rat in a snake hole.
("looked" to whom?)
In the din his eyes could still make out all forms of clutter, knick-knacks, dolls,
(I don't understand your use of "din" here. Did you mean "dim"?)
"Good afternoon, senor[.]" Her voice was soft
A sheer black veil shadowed her face[] from her nose on up[,] and a red and black shawl covered pale white shoulders.
(Comma repositioned.)
Good luck in the contest, but I do believe you should work on keeping the narration within Arnie.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Hi Bob. Interesting story, but the POV wanders a lot during your narration--it was a bit disturbing to a discerning reader. Also, I guessed Maureen was the fortuneteller as soon as the sensual part began. Good plot, though.
I've noted some observations for you to consider:
At [forty-three years of age], he still hadn't learned to relax.
His steps appeared to be hurried as he made his way from the parking spot he managed to find.
("appeared" to whom? The narration is jumping from Arnie himself to some external omniscience.)
Entering a dimly lit room he looked about as calm as a rat in a snake hole.
("looked" to whom?)
In the din his eyes could still make out all forms of clutter, knick-knacks, dolls,
(I don't understand your use of "din" here. Did you mean "dim"?)
"Good afternoon, senor[.]" Her voice was soft
A sheer black veil shadowed her face[] from her nose on up[,] and a red and black shawl covered pale white shoulders.
(Comma repositioned.)
Good luck in the contest, but I do believe you should work on keeping the narration within Arnie.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Thanks so much for the help, Les. Good to see you back. Bob
Comment from Soledadpaz
Looks like he's the one who's going to check her temperature, with his thermometer.
What a relief! It's his own wife, role playing.
Tis true, you should never lose sight of each other.
Great read, Bob.
Sol
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Looks like he's the one who's going to check her temperature, with his thermometer.
What a relief! It's his own wife, role playing.
Tis true, you should never lose sight of each other.
Great read, Bob.
Sol
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Hi, Sol. Where in the world have you been of late? It's good to see you back and active. I will watch for your work again. Thanks so much for the review... Bob
Comment from forestport12
I agree with Tammy Gail. Every time I read your writing I'm blown away at your keen descriptions and how you paint a character. Always the best. Stan
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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I agree with Tammy Gail. Every time I read your writing I'm blown away at your keen descriptions and how you paint a character. Always the best. Stan
Comment Written 14-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012
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Thanks a bunch, my friend. I do so appreciate you and your review. Bob
