Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Tanika Moon"Murder Mystery
53 total reviews
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hello again Bev
Your writting has really hit the mark this time. It is so descriptive, that you have painted pictures in my mind...Thanks for allowing me into your world
Bear
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
  |
Hello again Bev
Your writting has really hit the mark this time. It is so descriptive, that you have painted pictures in my mind...Thanks for allowing me into your world
Bear
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
-
Hi, Bear. Thank you for reviewing so generously. I'm glad I was able to entertain with my descriptions.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Wes Guptill
This is another excellent installment of this book, and I now have the task lying before me of going in to catch up on what I have missed these past few weeks. But go I shall because the story just keeps getting stronger, the intrigue deeper, the menace darker. Once, you had made public your concern that the supernatural element might not be well-received and the book would be pushed aside. Well, I hope you no longer subscribe to this notion, for this book has all of the elements of a best-seller. The characters are diverse, intriguing, and work well with one another. The method of the murders and the shrouds that cloak the killer and his (?) motives keep me glued when I am reading. The plot meanders just right, and you are always able to rein things in when it is necessary. It is that kind of literary mastery that will assure commercial AND literary success.
One small point though: I am not sure how well the parenthetical explanations for the dialect work in the story. The appearances of those sets of parentheses were distracting and left the otherwise clean prose feeling a bit clumsy. Perhaps you could tweak these lines to give explanation through context. Or maybe you could just make use of the glossary device you have already employed in the work. It's working so far, so why not make further use of it. Just a thought, as I said...
Great job here, my friend.
Salud!
Wes
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
|
This is another excellent installment of this book, and I now have the task lying before me of going in to catch up on what I have missed these past few weeks. But go I shall because the story just keeps getting stronger, the intrigue deeper, the menace darker. Once, you had made public your concern that the supernatural element might not be well-received and the book would be pushed aside. Well, I hope you no longer subscribe to this notion, for this book has all of the elements of a best-seller. The characters are diverse, intriguing, and work well with one another. The method of the murders and the shrouds that cloak the killer and his (?) motives keep me glued when I am reading. The plot meanders just right, and you are always able to rein things in when it is necessary. It is that kind of literary mastery that will assure commercial AND literary success.
One small point though: I am not sure how well the parenthetical explanations for the dialect work in the story. The appearances of those sets of parentheses were distracting and left the otherwise clean prose feeling a bit clumsy. Perhaps you could tweak these lines to give explanation through context. Or maybe you could just make use of the glossary device you have already employed in the work. It's working so far, so why not make further use of it. Just a thought, as I said...
Great job here, my friend.
Salud!
Wes
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
-
Hi, Wes. Thank you for your sincere and thorough review. I really appreciate all the encouragement of your words and insights. I am going to do what you suggest in the translation. I've done it both ways and I agree it takes you out of the story. There's several schools of thought on the matter, but I prefer to let it stand alone in the body of the text. I appreciate the confirmation!
You're a very kind and astute reviewer -- my favorite kind!
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Writingfundimension:
What an interesting chapter this is. I'm glad you
didn't shorten it as it would have interrupted the
flow of thought. My dad's mom was half-Indian. She
and those of her six sisters I was fortunate to get
to know all had a sixth sense which allowed them to
know things which should have been impossible for them
to know. Who was I to question them once I realized
how often they were right?
thanks for sharing
I look forward to your next post
love,
jan
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
|
Writingfundimension:
What an interesting chapter this is. I'm glad you
didn't shorten it as it would have interrupted the
flow of thought. My dad's mom was half-Indian. She
and those of her six sisters I was fortunate to get
to know all had a sixth sense which allowed them to
know things which should have been impossible for them
to know. Who was I to question them once I realized
how often they were right?
thanks for sharing
I look forward to your next post
love,
jan
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
-
Jan, thank you so much for sharing your personal insights and for your excellent review. Fascinating about your aunts ... so, like you I am 1/8 Indian. It's the part of me that I seem to connect with the most. Do you find that, too?
Great to hear from you, Jan!
Warmest regards, Bev
-
yes, I seem to be most drawn to the Indian side, too
-
That's cool to know, Jan. Thanks for sharing ... Bev
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Was so glad to see another chapter. Always look forward to reading them. It's getting scary! =} I see no flaws in this, very good work.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
 |
Was so glad to see another chapter. Always look forward to reading them. It's getting scary! =} I see no flaws in this, very good work.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
-
Roxanna, thank you so much for this very generous rating and review. I sure appreciate your continue support and interest.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I haven't been fallowing, but it seems like an interesting story with well developed characters. Th plot seems interesting. I am already following so much, I wouldn't be able to keep up, but might check in from time to time~Debbie
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
|
I haven't been fallowing, but it seems like an interesting story with well developed characters. Th plot seems interesting. I am already following so much, I wouldn't be able to keep up, but might check in from time to time~Debbie
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
-
Hi, Debbie. Thank you so very much for choosing to read my chapter. Your generous review and words of support mean so much!
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Gungalo
Yeow girl. Just the dreaming part is enough to give me the willies. If I dreamt all that and a dead woman's struggle too I would be going crazy. Awesome.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
|
Yeow girl. Just the dreaming part is enough to give me the willies. If I dreamt all that and a dead woman's struggle too I would be going crazy. Awesome.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
-
Thank you so much, Gungalo. I wasn't sure about using a dream sequence - that seems to be controversial in writing corners these days. But I like how it turned out and am glad you seemed to as well. Kindest regards, Bev
-
Smile Bev.
Comment from megclare
Wow! This was some powerful stuff; the dream sequence was particularly chilling. It's the first chapter I have read but I will definitely go back and read the others. I'm a crime fiction buff and this sounds just my cup of tea.Great reading!
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
|
Wow! This was some powerful stuff; the dream sequence was particularly chilling. It's the first chapter I have read but I will definitely go back and read the others. I'm a crime fiction buff and this sounds just my cup of tea.Great reading!
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
-
Hi, megclare. I so appreciate this wonderfully supportive and encouraging review. Thank you for choosing to read and review! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Maureen's Pen
OMG I read this at night, what was I thinking....If I have nightmares I'm coming after you!
This is so well penned but I am so bad at the scary stuff. I usually hide behind the pillow or fall into someone's lap. Both of which I don't have.
Now I must say this was intense and great all the way through it.
Imagery, dialogue and scene work was excellent...even the dream work at the end was well done.
Excellent and needs a six I don't have.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
|
OMG I read this at night, what was I thinking....If I have nightmares I'm coming after you!
This is so well penned but I am so bad at the scary stuff. I usually hide behind the pillow or fall into someone's lap. Both of which I don't have.
Now I must say this was intense and great all the way through it.
Imagery, dialogue and scene work was excellent...even the dream work at the end was well done.
Excellent and needs a six I don't have.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
-
Hi, Maureen. I don't like scaring such a sweet lady! Having said that, I'm glad my chapter was effective. It did have a bit of a high creep factor. Maybe we should have warnings for creep factor LOL. Thank you for always being 'there' for me and my writing, Maureen. And the wish for a six is icing on the cake. Love ya, Bev
Comment from judiverse
The Sheriff shows his way of handling his detectives with Newstead. At first he questions why he's on the scene, but is satisfied with how he's handled it. Stanley's massive coronary might have been brought on by that mysterious presence that's been hovering around. Sheriff also thinks about Debra's niece, who stands to inherit. Jana's dreams are interesting, especially with the connection of her uncle the medicine man and stories about the invisible beings. Jana's dreams are really frightening, and then she experiences the familiar chill, as noted by other characters. Good touch to bring that in. judi
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
The Sheriff shows his way of handling his detectives with Newstead. At first he questions why he's on the scene, but is satisfied with how he's handled it. Stanley's massive coronary might have been brought on by that mysterious presence that's been hovering around. Sheriff also thinks about Debra's niece, who stands to inherit. Jana's dreams are interesting, especially with the connection of her uncle the medicine man and stories about the invisible beings. Jana's dreams are really frightening, and then she experiences the familiar chill, as noted by other characters. Good touch to bring that in. judi
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
Thanks much for the thorough and generous review, judi. I really appreciate the support! Warm regards, Bev
-
You're welcome. Have a wonderful day. judi
Comment from Sinaua
Liked the imagery and pace the dream was really good with the transforming and shifting pace. Liked the gritty feel and the description of the wages. This really set the scene at the beginning.
The healers theme is a good one interlacing the sioux tribe into the story and overall flavour made me wanting to read more
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
Liked the imagery and pace the dream was really good with the transforming and shifting pace. Liked the gritty feel and the description of the wages. This really set the scene at the beginning.
The healers theme is a good one interlacing the sioux tribe into the story and overall flavour made me wanting to read more
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
Hello, Sinaua. I thank you for this generous and thorough review. Your words of support and the time you took to read are very much appreciated! Kind regards, Bev
