Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I have missed some of your posts. I am sorry about that. My day job takes too much of my time, but it pays the bills.
Once again you have written a great post.

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2012

Barbara, I know all about the intrusive day job thing; don't worry about it. Reviewing prose takes up time and sometimes it just isn't there. I'm thrilled you liked this chapter :-)

Moke

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Detail of setting is excellent
You build tension around the possibility of the great cataclysm well
The small, birdlike face - birdlike as one word
Excellent dialogue that sounds natural and conveys the speakers' emotions well Brooke :-)

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2012

Thank you, Brooke :-)

I hadn't realised quite how long my original chapters were until I started posting the new versions on FS. I think there are 2 more parts to Arran's origin story before I move to another set of characters. Glad you enjoyed it!

Mike

Comment from N.K. Wagner

Excellent

Arran Carwright is so important that they've messed with his son's mind to trap him into becoming a duelist? That's quite a plot twist. I figured confiscation of property and such, but it's obviously much more. Good job, Mike. :) nancy

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2012

Thanks, Nancy :-)

Arran is the key to more than anyone realises. Well, he's a part of it anyway. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter!

Mike

Comment from James crofoot

Excellent

Excellent dude. Thanks for explaining so soon. Nothing to criticize, indeed this was a great chapter. Now I'm wondering if the high ups are helping to fulfill this prophecy. ahaha Wouldn't that be a funny twist.

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012

We'll be joining those high-ups soon, so you'll get to find out :-). Thanks for the great review, James. I'll try to get som more done over the weekend.

Mike

Comment from santapola

Average

Yes i did enjoy this chapter I am not sure about the names but that is just personal choice and not a criticism. This has made me want to check out more chapters to see which way it is going to take me.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012

Thanks for taking the time to comment - I'm glad you liked it.

Mike

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

And the plot 'she doth thicken'. Fascinating read. I am really enjoying this story. You have an extraordinary mind and I just love how you use it. I anxiously look forward to the next post. Keep up the great work.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012

I'm glad this part was intriguing. Arran's origin story is close to finishing - then we'll be back with some other characters.

Mike

Comment from TammyGail

Excellent

Hey there Mike - I was waiting on this chapter after your last - and as promised you brought the good - your storytelling skills shine ever bright in this ink - yet I always notice you quill with your poetic ink even when writing your novels - many seem to lose this talent yet you still have it - thanks for the notes and the read always a pleasure -

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012

Thanks so much, Tammy! Wanted to get this one out quick. Hopefully the next one will be quite soon too.

Mike :-)

Comment from kashmayank

Excellent

I havent read all the chapters so wont comment much but this was nice well structured and that made it appealing nice job all the best

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012

Thanks so much, Kash - I appreciate it :-).

Mike