Poetry, Dreams In Motion.
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Another Angel Falls"A collection of poetry.
11 total reviews
Comment from ladykay
Hi Ricouard,
Dont ask me all these questions!!! I have already asked them.LOL
Sorry, I sincerely agree with what you are saying and your form of questioning.
"What else could they do
With their backs against the wall?
When the world that lives around them
Doesn't notice at all...
If another angel falls? "
Very good.
ladykay
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Hi Ricouard,
Dont ask me all these questions!!! I have already asked them.LOL
Sorry, I sincerely agree with what you are saying and your form of questioning.
"What else could they do
With their backs against the wall?
When the world that lives around them
Doesn't notice at all...
If another angel falls? "
Very good.
ladykay
Comment Written 19-Mar-2005
Comment from WritePoeticSorceress
This is so beautiful...so touching...I am at a loss for words. All I have is this vivid imagery you created running through my mind and tears. Keep Writing!
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This is so beautiful...so touching...I am at a loss for words. All I have is this vivid imagery you created running through my mind and tears. Keep Writing!
Comment Written 19-Mar-2005
Comment from Misty19
You have illicited some very powerful images with your poem...I have given it four stars because of the technical aspects of the piece, not the subject.
Third stanza, last line--should that be a question or is there a typo/missing word?
Last stanza was going smoothly until the last 2 lines...need some different type of wording to maintain the power the rest of the poem presented.
Overall a very good piece!
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You have illicited some very powerful images with your poem...I have given it four stars because of the technical aspects of the piece, not the subject.
Third stanza, last line--should that be a question or is there a typo/missing word?
Last stanza was going smoothly until the last 2 lines...need some different type of wording to maintain the power the rest of the poem presented.
Overall a very good piece!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2005
Comment from Wendyanne
Wow this is a very poignant and heart-wrenching poem. You have given me so much food for thought. "Another angel falls". So sad. Well done.
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Wow this is a very poignant and heart-wrenching poem. You have given me so much food for thought. "Another angel falls". So sad. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2005
Comment from THE GIFT
The concept of the work is noble. I found that some of the rhyming and meters were so off that, it took away from my concentration. Some of the word placement seemed very forced and therefore it didn't hold my attention. I'm sure you can look at it and find what is making it so disjointed and capture the essence of what you are trying to relay in a better way.
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The concept of the work is noble. I found that some of the rhyming and meters were so off that, it took away from my concentration. Some of the word placement seemed very forced and therefore it didn't hold my attention. I'm sure you can look at it and find what is making it so disjointed and capture the essence of what you are trying to relay in a better way.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2005
Comment from raywithrow
This was very touching! I think, if I were in a position to where I could help, I would, but who am I?, and would it even be noticed or recognized as a helpful gesture - don't know?! You have reached out to an audience that must ponder this question, and put themselves in their place, or, as you said simply walk away!
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This was very touching! I think, if I were in a position to where I could help, I would, but who am I?, and would it even be noticed or recognized as a helpful gesture - don't know?! You have reached out to an audience that must ponder this question, and put themselves in their place, or, as you said simply walk away!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2005
Comment from shelley kaye
omg
this was GREAT!
if I could get away with only saying one word on these reviews, it would be WOW!!
but since I have to fill up some more space, I'll also say that this was very well written with LOTS of emotion as I could feel it just dripping from every line
GREAT JOB!!!
thanx for sharing :)
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omg
this was GREAT!
if I could get away with only saying one word on these reviews, it would be WOW!!
but since I have to fill up some more space, I'll also say that this was very well written with LOTS of emotion as I could feel it just dripping from every line
GREAT JOB!!!
thanx for sharing :)
Comment Written 17-Mar-2005
Comment from Hetty
Hi Ricouard,
This is not a style of poetry that I am used to seeing here, or indeed critting.
I think it is, however, quite lovely. The message keeps coming through to the reader "another angel falls"... The words used are heart-felt and well expressed.
I don't think I can crit the rhythm or layout because this is a very definite style with some rhyming but mainly prose. I think it's good as it is. Should you wish to improve the rhythm and flow, then do the standard thing of counting syllabic beats to each line and checking where stressed words are but I get the feeling, especially from the grading you have received, that this is your own inimitable style.
Hope this helps..
Hetty
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Hi Ricouard,
This is not a style of poetry that I am used to seeing here, or indeed critting.
I think it is, however, quite lovely. The message keeps coming through to the reader "another angel falls"... The words used are heart-felt and well expressed.
I don't think I can crit the rhythm or layout because this is a very definite style with some rhyming but mainly prose. I think it's good as it is. Should you wish to improve the rhythm and flow, then do the standard thing of counting syllabic beats to each line and checking where stressed words are but I get the feeling, especially from the grading you have received, that this is your own inimitable style.
Hope this helps..
Hetty
Comment Written 17-Mar-2005
Comment from Marc
The poem addresses some very serious social issues and the cost of our societal ills. I felt the flow stuttered in parts, making me reread sections.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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The poem addresses some very serious social issues and the cost of our societal ills. I felt the flow stuttered in parts, making me reread sections.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2005
Comment from Nescher Pyscher
Cause her hopes(hope's) already flown.
That deaths(death's) the only escape...
. . . duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude . . .
Take the fiver and let it be, Ric.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Cause her hopes(hope's) already flown.
That deaths(death's) the only escape...
. . . duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude . . .
Take the fiver and let it be, Ric.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2005
