Poetry, Dreams In Motion.
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Rhythm Of Passion"A collection of poetry.
20 total reviews
Comment from Jewell McChesney
Honeyed desire, sultry and hot,
Flushes skin silky and soft
With fragrant sweat
Heavy with memories of loving,
Tantalizing in its harmony,
Promising a perfect end.
To me this feels like alot of good thoughts
but it seems like it could be put together with
a smoother flow.
Maybe I'm just not in that romantic mood.
I don't know.
Needs just a little work. Read it aloud to yourself
and see if it flows to you.
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Honeyed desire, sultry and hot,
Flushes skin silky and soft
With fragrant sweat
Heavy with memories of loving,
Tantalizing in its harmony,
Promising a perfect end.
To me this feels like alot of good thoughts
but it seems like it could be put together with
a smoother flow.
Maybe I'm just not in that romantic mood.
I don't know.
Needs just a little work. Read it aloud to yourself
and see if it flows to you.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2005
Comment from WARRIORPRINCESS
This is a sweet poem with lovely quaint overtones, this is the best way I can describe it.
The words conjure all sorts of imagery, but leaves the reader to explore within their own mind what they want to see.
A nice comfortable feel to this piece and a pleasure to read and review.
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This is a sweet poem with lovely quaint overtones, this is the best way I can describe it.
The words conjure all sorts of imagery, but leaves the reader to explore within their own mind what they want to see.
A nice comfortable feel to this piece and a pleasure to read and review.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2005
Comment from Veronica Grace
A very dramatic poem and it seemed to flow right in every way. The words the mood of romance and pace all perfect. It was very nicely phrased and very sultry and smooth.
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A very dramatic poem and it seemed to flow right in every way. The words the mood of romance and pace all perfect. It was very nicely phrased and very sultry and smooth.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2005
Comment from Englishrose
This is a beautiful poem, full of passion and very erotic. It captured the mood of a hot steamy night for me, when you wish that the sun would never come up, and be night for another 24 hours. I love the choice of words, and flow of this piece. Well done :-)
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This is a beautiful poem, full of passion and very erotic. It captured the mood of a hot steamy night for me, when you wish that the sun would never come up, and be night for another 24 hours. I love the choice of words, and flow of this piece. Well done :-)
Comment Written 18-Mar-2005
Comment from ladykay
Hi Ricouard,
Talk about sensuality...oozing I think from every pore...the way you would have liked it to.
"Honeyed desire, sultry and hot,
Flushes skin silky and soft
With fragrant sweat
Heavy with memories of loving,
Tantalizing in its harmony,
Promising a perfect end.
That says part of it I think!
ladykay
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Hi Ricouard,
Talk about sensuality...oozing I think from every pore...the way you would have liked it to.
"Honeyed desire, sultry and hot,
Flushes skin silky and soft
With fragrant sweat
Heavy with memories of loving,
Tantalizing in its harmony,
Promising a perfect end.
That says part of it I think!
ladykay
Comment Written 18-Mar-2005
Comment from Wendyanne
This is a lovely poem which is full of vivid imagery, for example, "ghostly moonlight" "ebbing from black to white". Such a pretty image. Well done.
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This is a lovely poem which is full of vivid imagery, for example, "ghostly moonlight" "ebbing from black to white". Such a pretty image. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2005
Comment from Balladeer
That was moving Ricouard~
A good cadence, flow and message~
Sometimes a poem makes you just think of things~
You bring the reader to a nice juxtaposition of thought~
Good Job~ Thanks as always for sharing~ ~SKYE~
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That was moving Ricouard~
A good cadence, flow and message~
Sometimes a poem makes you just think of things~
You bring the reader to a nice juxtaposition of thought~
Good Job~ Thanks as always for sharing~ ~SKYE~
Comment Written 17-Mar-2005
Comment from Lainee
Hi Ricouard,
This is simply beautiful. It holds such decadence for the free and natural delights in life and paints a wonderful picture as your thoughts flow so softly from one line to the next.
Goodluck,
Lainee :)
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Hi Ricouard,
This is simply beautiful. It holds such decadence for the free and natural delights in life and paints a wonderful picture as your thoughts flow so softly from one line to the next.
Goodluck,
Lainee :)
Comment Written 17-Mar-2005
Comment from Nescher Pyscher
And the nights(night's) passion ebbs
Read a bit like some sort of historical erotic poetry from some place with lots of jungles. :0)
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And the nights(night's) passion ebbs
Read a bit like some sort of historical erotic poetry from some place with lots of jungles. :0)
Comment Written 17-Mar-2005
Comment from Cosette
This is quite good for your first attempt in adult poetry. There's only one line I'd look at and that is S3L3. I'd delete "Sulky with silky desire" and replace it with something like, "Sleep with sated desire." That would avoid the word repetition that seems to aggravate the final verse. Nice poem.
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This is quite good for your first attempt in adult poetry. There's only one line I'd look at and that is S3L3. I'd delete "Sulky with silky desire" and replace it with something like, "Sleep with sated desire." That would avoid the word repetition that seems to aggravate the final verse. Nice poem.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2005
