Summer Retreat, Life's Relief!
Seasons don't always improve with age.69 total reviews
Comment from Cleo Belle
I really enjoyed reading the sentiments within the poem, and appreciate that it is a 'free style' poem structure. However, I wonder if you could look at stanza three, line two: reminds just how little ....' Reminds who? Perhaps a pronoun could be slotted in to give us an indicator. Just a thought - but your plot is good. well done.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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I really enjoyed reading the sentiments within the poem, and appreciate that it is a 'free style' poem structure. However, I wonder if you could look at stanza three, line two: reminds just how little ....' Reminds who? Perhaps a pronoun could be slotted in to give us an indicator. Just a thought - but your plot is good. well done.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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That hasn't bothered anyone yet, but I added "one" after "reminds." I am a bit touchy about the weight of, "reminds," as it can read as if the author wrote a personal story, I would like the reader to interject themselves in it as well. I thank you for the suggestion, compliments and review. Mike
Comment from gifted$1
As we age, we sometimes have to dig deep to find what used to make us happy. Memories can make one happy no matter the season, and I know that when the weather is hot, it doesn't make for a pleasant time. I life how you wrote this with the older person reflecting on how it used to be. Where does time go? I don't know..Great job on this. :)
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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As we age, we sometimes have to dig deep to find what used to make us happy. Memories can make one happy no matter the season, and I know that when the weather is hot, it doesn't make for a pleasant time. I life how you wrote this with the older person reflecting on how it used to be. Where does time go? I don't know..Great job on this. :)
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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Where does time go can be a poetry contest in itself. LOL It hasn't been a nice summer for me, as their just hasn't been but a rare day of relief. I sort of laugh at myself as becoming fuddy duddy, but with so many people, they end up with a bad disposition. I feel keeping the good memories fresh, improves ones outlook and state of mind. I enjoyed this review and thank you for it and the compliments. Mike
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I know this might sound dumb, but I wake up every morning and make a list of 10 things I am grateful for. I have found that this practice not only has increased my positive outlook on life, but fires up my writing as well. I am grateful that I have food, a bed, clean water...I had found myself very dissatisfied in that the BIG dreams of my life had not yet shown up. I was reminded that in order to receive more, I had better express thanks for what I have. I have become more content and the circumstances and my mood is so much better. Even if it's just your shoe laces you can be thankful for, just say thank you....you are here for a reason. :)
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I really likes this and it is a good idea. When every I am dissatisified, I try to find something I am satisfied with.
I have my big dreams, which often are failures, but one can still enjoy them provided you realize they are benchmarks and don't pass up other opportunities.
A big one was nature photography and it was not only expensive, but hells half acre. Often getting in the way of them was my father who saw the price of the camera equipment and doubled my rent, killing any notion of catching up with the bills. When I sold the equipment, he asked me if I was ashamed of my failed dream, I told him, "No, because thousands of little one's came true."
Even when one has to put up a dream as a failure, one is still blessed with all the experiences that came with it, and in fact all those lessons add up to help in the sucess of future dreams. I think the key to enjoying life is to understand this and never give up. Suits me well.
Have a great week ahead!
Comment from visionary1234
My husband and I were just talking about this yesterday - i.e. "getting old SUCKS!" loved your reminders of childhood and how it used to be:
"Power is knocked out for days by winds of hurricane;
you amble out to neighbors,
when a child it was just the same... "
Icy fingers keeps(keep) some behind frosty glass,
Comfort and effort becomes(become) less a concern
Nice write! :) Sharyn
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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My husband and I were just talking about this yesterday - i.e. "getting old SUCKS!" loved your reminders of childhood and how it used to be:
"Power is knocked out for days by winds of hurricane;
you amble out to neighbors,
when a child it was just the same... "
Icy fingers keeps(keep) some behind frosty glass,
Comfort and effort becomes(become) less a concern
Nice write! :) Sharyn
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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LOL, I enjoyed this review and thank you for it, the suggestions and compliments. Mike
Comment from Survivor48
what a great poem! you used the art of methaphors and rhyming together to create art through poetry. I also like the meaning of the poem. excellent job!
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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what a great poem! you used the art of methaphors and rhyming together to create art through poetry. I also like the meaning of the poem. excellent job!
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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Thank you very much for reviewing this, I really appreciate the compliments. Mike
Comment from GWHARGIS
I remember the fun stuff of summer that you mentioned but now I feel the physical trials of the season as well. You painted a very real picture with your poem. I liked the rhythm and the flow. Nice job.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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I remember the fun stuff of summer that you mentioned but now I feel the physical trials of the season as well. You painted a very real picture with your poem. I liked the rhythm and the flow. Nice job.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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Thank you very much for the compliments and review. Mike
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Very good and realistic look at summer. I stayed in the house most of this summer due to extreme high temps...set records daily in July. My flower garden died and I no longer care. Too old, I say. Too old, too tired, don't care anymore. Priorities change with old age. Now I just try to keep breathing... LOL! Good poem!
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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Very good and realistic look at summer. I stayed in the house most of this summer due to extreme high temps...set records daily in July. My flower garden died and I no longer care. Too old, I say. Too old, too tired, don't care anymore. Priorities change with old age. Now I just try to keep breathing... LOL! Good poem!
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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Wow! What a review, and I hope my poem doesn't further effect you. I thank you for reading it and the compliments too. Mike
Comment from MumEsGirl
This was a very interesting work and your notes explain it well.
Yes as we age it is harder to cope with extremes. Those of us lucky to have memories to fall back on them, surely find some comfort.
hugs
kate
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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This was a very interesting work and your notes explain it well.
Yes as we age it is harder to cope with extremes. Those of us lucky to have memories to fall back on them, surely find some comfort.
hugs
kate
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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I thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from Glasstruth
A sad reminder of what lies ahead. Someone once, "His father's body has gotten old, but the mind is still the same kid." The rhyming and flow is great. You have one stanza that goes with the father's body quote:
"Looking out the window, kids play a million ways,
reminds just how little it takes to enjoy the day.
Sounds of kids enjoying sports at their now closed school,
brings back childhood memories of exploring at the pool." Superb writing! Les
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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A sad reminder of what lies ahead. Someone once, "His father's body has gotten old, but the mind is still the same kid." The rhyming and flow is great. You have one stanza that goes with the father's body quote:
"Looking out the window, kids play a million ways,
reminds just how little it takes to enjoy the day.
Sounds of kids enjoying sports at their now closed school,
brings back childhood memories of exploring at the pool." Superb writing! Les
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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I guess I could tout this as a, "Message for the young," but they wouldn't get it. Kids can get on everyone's nerves, but I think that happens as a reminder. I loved this review and thank you for it and the compliments too. Mike
Comment from kashmayank
well captured the problems of the elderly life.I liked the structure of the poem ,it was a smooth flow,the man in art work cmplimented it
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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well captured the problems of the elderly life.I liked the structure of the poem ,it was a smooth flow,the man in art work cmplimented it
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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I thank you for the enjoyable review as well the compliments. Mike
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Mike,
You have written a fine poem and one I enjoyed reading. Winter is hard for the elderly which you brought out so poetically. I am okay with winter except the scooping snow, of course. Your intermittent rhyme lends music to the lines and your expressive words are excellent. Well done, chey
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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Hi Mike,
You have written a fine poem and one I enjoyed reading. Winter is hard for the elderly which you brought out so poetically. I am okay with winter except the scooping snow, of course. Your intermittent rhyme lends music to the lines and your expressive words are excellent. Well done, chey
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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I always love when I can add a bit of song quality to it. Have been thinking in Cajun lately. LOL I thank you for the compliments and this review. Mike
