Reviews from

Lupo Dexus (Duelists Book 1)

Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Secret Cave Complex, TA 114"
a disparate group of exiles is drawn together

10 total reviews 
Comment from Hitcher
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

That was a really good chapter Mike, Skull, the Preacher and Blood the three amigos from hell me thinks. Your intro into who why and what they are was excellent mate. The death of the would be Duelist was just too cool and the scene with the boy who fell out of the ugly tree hitting every branch on the way down had me in stitches mate. Loved it!

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 17-Aug-2012
    lol, yeah Skull's dialogue is a guilty pleasure, alright. Thanks for the great review, mate. I'm really enjoying writing this story properly. It's quite a beast length-wise, but most fantasy is, so that's alright.

    Mike
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Your posts are letter perfect. I so wish I could make mine like that. I edit, and edit, and edit and still miss things. This is very good

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
    Thank you, Barbara :-). I always manage to miss something somewhere - you just got beaten to the editing punch this time! I think self-editing is almost impossible.

    Mike
Comment from Deejharrington
Excellent
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That Skull is a really peach of a guy:) You did a terrific job on his character and dialog. Its amazing that he is surprised at the appearance of his "son", when he thinks of his own as being ugly but enjoys its affect on people. He is truly heartless. I look forward to learning more about the Black Stallion.
deb

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
    Thank you, Deb :-). Skull is a guilty pleasure to write, and a key player in what's to come. I'm so glad you;re enjoying the unfolding tale!

    Mike
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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I only have one complaint. The posts are too far apart and I tend to forget what was written in the previous one. However, that said, as I read this it all came back to me...so I guess I didn't need to bother complaining....lol Great story that has captured my full attention. I enjoyed this chapter very much and anxiously look forward to the next one.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
    Thank you, my friend :-). It doesn;t help that each chapoter is written with different sets of characters, but they will start to mix soon - I promise! Chapters will also be coming closer together now I'm back at work and (conversely) have more time to write (because I do it during my commute).

    I'm so glad you;re enjoying this!

    Mike
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Excellent
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Well, Skull is an unpleasant sort, isn't he? Well written, Mike, with only one potential typo:

A gag wrenched his cheeks back into a painful gurn - grin?

Looking forward to your next installment. :) nancy


 Comment Written 13-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
    Thank you, Nancy :-). Gurn is an English term (perhaps too English) meaning to pull one's face into a distorted shape (usually for humorous purposes). I have to confess, I like Skull - he's one of the most key characters. All shall be revealed!

    Mike
Comment from James crofoot
Excellent
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I always forget which story it is you're writing and then when I find out It's like Oh yeah cool. Good story, this one was rather long but worth the read, hope you can keep putting something on it, because I really like this. I couldn't find anything wrong except one word was missing somewhere in there but I into the story. peace dude

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
    Thanks so much, James! Was the four stars intenrional? No probs if it was, I just wanted to check. Glad you enjoyed tge chapter, my friend :-).

    Mike
reply by James crofoot on 13-Aug-2012
    no it wasn't I'll go back
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
    Thanks so much, James! Was the four stars intenrional? No probs if it was, I just wanted to check. Glad you enjoyed tge chapter, my friend :-).

    Mike
reply by James crofoot on 14-Aug-2012
    did that 5 register, did it twice.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
    Hi James. Yeah; that worked great. Thanks mate!

    Mike
Comment from RaymondJohn
Excellent
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I think you pack a bit too much into this chapter, but it is interesting stuff. I don't think I have read the earlier chapters, but I feel I know your characters. Well done. Ray

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
    Ray, thanks very much. You're right - this is too long and covers more than it needs to. The problem is, we're still in chapter 1 of my original draft, and will be for several more 'chapters', so I'm have to fight for my natural breaks! So glad you stopped by. I have printed a copy of what's currently up of Who Done Houdini (love the title) and will be reading it on the train after my current read.

    Mike
Comment from J. D. Means
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellently written chapter. It was very graphic and the imagery was great. The writing was well done and carries the reader along at a good pace, beggin them to continue the journey to it's end.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
    Thank you, JD - I really appreciate that. I do love a proper amount of description, and getting a scene across clearly, although some readers think it slows down the pace too much.

    Thrilled you enjoyed it :-).

    Mike
reply by J. D. Means on 13-Aug-2012
    MR, I loved it! I love the detail as it adds to the ultimate experience of the story and gets you more deeply into it. Since it was not the beginning chapter, it took a minute, but after that, I was there. I write children's books, so my detail is vague at best (to let their imagination fill in the blanks) I wish I had your tallent for detail. But I am working on it by reading great authors like you.
    Check out my web site at: http:millieandhoney.com I am writing a book, one chapter a week through my blogs. Anyone who wants to be a character just needs to send me a comment with your name and what character you would like to play. Next week, Abernathy is going to the 'Dragon Planet" I think this would be right up your alley. Thanks. Joe
reply by J. D. Means on 13-Aug-2012
    Mike,

    How do I add you as a favorite author here. I am new and would like to bump your recognition up as I know you will be a great author. I see the other books you have written and will try to put you out there.

    Joe
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
    Hi Joe. If you click my name (should be above this message) you'll go to my profile, and there should be a button somewhere at the top of the screen for 'become a fan'. Thanks for the vote of confidence :-).

    Mike

    PS: I've just posted the next chapter.
Comment from TammyGail
Excellent
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Excellent work crafting this chapter Mike
indeed it was well written and expressed
Like always you pull the reader in by the
hem of thier essence ... thanks for sharing
another stunning read. .. always a pleasure

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
    Thank you, Tammy :-). I have to confess, Skull is one of my favourite characters. I only have one more key player to introduce. Well, one and a half! So glad yoy enjoyed.

    Mike
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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I love Skull's musings over the origin and nature of his name
excellent description of Skull
and of the cave
Excellent dialogue in the interrogation scene - and what a gruesome way of dealing with "Orchid" - you do have a way of making me grimace LOL :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
    lol, yeah, I'll admit to a certain macabre fascination with describing violence. I don't like my chaos neat :-).

    Thank you, Brooke. I've almost introduced all the key players now!

    Mike