Beautiful Son
A mothers look at her son27 total reviews
Comment from steevie
This is a touching piece you've written about your son.
Its easy to read how fond you are of him and by all accounts, he turned out to be a young man whom you approve.
Well done, Happiotter
steve
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
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This is a touching piece you've written about your son.
Its easy to read how fond you are of him and by all accounts, he turned out to be a young man whom you approve.
Well done, Happiotter
steve
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
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Thank you Steve, Happi
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Thank you Steve, Happi
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in good 5/7/5 form - I'd advise you not to call it a haiku in your author's notes because of a variety of haiku rules - if you just call it a 5/7/5 then reviewers won't ding you for haiku rules :-)
I like the consonance of L sounds in life/swiftly/tall/deeply
and the observation you make about the nature of our children's lives moving past so fast :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2012
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Your poem is in good 5/7/5 form - I'd advise you not to call it a haiku in your author's notes because of a variety of haiku rules - if you just call it a 5/7/5 then reviewers won't ding you for haiku rules :-)
I like the consonance of L sounds in life/swiftly/tall/deeply
and the observation you make about the nature of our children's lives moving past so fast :-) Brooke
Comment Written 02-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2012
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Thank you so much for the warning this I will study up on the haiku form. Thank you for the review and I appreciate the advise! Happi
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Thank you so much for the warning this I will study up on the haiku form. Thank you for the review and I appreciate the advise! Happi
Comment from Jaxson Phoenix
I think you can claim success. It is a perfect haiku and very descriptive of what, by all accounts, is a remarkable young man. I am sure he will love it. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2012
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I think you can claim success. It is a perfect haiku and very descriptive of what, by all accounts, is a remarkable young man. I am sure he will love it. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2012
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Thank you so much for the review ! Happi
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Thank you so much for the review ! Happi
Comment from marycec
Well crafted haiku about your son..I like the fact you used present participles, growing giving it an immediacy of feeling.Humble and kind. You must bevery proud.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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Well crafted haiku about your son..I like the fact you used present participles, growing giving it an immediacy of feeling.Humble and kind. You must bevery proud.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the great review! Happi
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Thank you for the great review! Happi
Comment from Bobbi22
As the mother of four wonderful sons, I can certainly relate to this. They grow so fast. Treasure every moment. Very well written 5-7-5 poem.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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As the mother of four wonderful sons, I can certainly relate to this. They grow so fast. Treasure every moment. Very well written 5-7-5 poem.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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Thank you so much and I know you totally understand! Happi
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Thank you so much and I know you totally understand! Happi
Comment from Doc Holiday
Beautiful 5-7-5 tribute poem to your son.
Having four sons of my own, I must agree with you on how quickly they do grow up and become men.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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Beautiful 5-7-5 tribute poem to your son.
Having four sons of my own, I must agree with you on how quickly they do grow up and become men.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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Thank you so much but you know we wouldn't have the other chapter if they didn't grow up but I just wish it were a little slower ! Happi
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Thank you so much but you know we wouldn't have the other chapter if they didn't grow up but I just wish it were a little slower ! Happi
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A good write with imagery and needs edit. The poem has a tribute to your son theme and us Mothers love our sons. The colour and the words blend well together. I see no reason to change any of it. I enjoyed reading your poem. Mary
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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A good write with imagery and needs edit. The poem has a tribute to your son theme and us Mothers love our sons. The colour and the words blend well together. I see no reason to change any of it. I enjoyed reading your poem. Mary
Comment Written 01-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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Than you an you have no idea how
Much I appreciate you reviewing and reading my work. Happi
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Than you an you have no idea how
Much I appreciate you reviewing and reading my work. Happi
Comment from ennahanid
This is a lovely tribute to your son and I am so glad I did not pass this up because of being so unadorned. That is a bad habit of mine I am trying to break, I am getting better - hopefully. I have a grandson who is going through this not 16 yet, taller than his Dad bigger feet too and a voice that is getting down there. I enjoyed reading you today - Dinah
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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This is a lovely tribute to your son and I am so glad I did not pass this up because of being so unadorned. That is a bad habit of mine I am trying to break, I am getting better - hopefully. I have a grandson who is going through this not 16 yet, taller than his Dad bigger feet too and a voice that is getting down there. I enjoyed reading you today - Dinah
Comment Written 01-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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Thank you for such a kind and humble review! I appreciate this so very much! Blessings to u! Happi
Comment from rjuselius
your son seems to have gone from baby to adulthood in just a few words. nicely written. good execution.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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your son seems to have gone from baby to adulthood in just a few words. nicely written. good execution.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 01-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the review. The sad thing is that I feel this time has flown by so fast that in only a few words he has grown this quickly! Haha happi
Comment from Titanx9
This is a beautiful haiku to your beloved son. I am sure he will appreciate this one and many more you will probably write. I enjoyed reading this well-structured piece.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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This is a beautiful haiku to your beloved son. I am sure he will appreciate this one and many more you will probably write. I enjoyed reading this well-structured piece.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2012
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Thank you for taking time out to read and review my work. Many blessings! Happi
