Reviews from

The God Particle Of It All

Sometimes it isn't the science, but human nature.

10 total reviews 
Comment from Twomoon
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Mike, a splendid write! It touched my heart with the message and yet kept to the mission of the gift men have of using their creative thoughts and their intelligence to step closer to the greater being...and their evasive means to achieve it, and yes, we are suppose to think, and to want to get closer to the perfection, proves it does exist! xx twomoon

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
    Wow! Thanks for the wonderful review and generous rating. I had to add an additional last stanza because a reviewer was incessantly quibbling that I am calling science a foolish and a waste of money, despite the fact I state in the notes I support science. I felt it lowered the punch of the humor, but was a good idea because I sent a link of to CERN. I like what you said because I try to get closer to perfection by writing. Mike
Comment from cheyennewy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Mike,

it takes skill to write a poem with this theme and do it well. Your rhyme doesn't' seem forced even though you have used some technical terms they flow nicely in the lines. I do think God has a sense of humor but he wants us to succeed even thought many times we don't. Excellent! chey

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 23-Jul-2012
    I had to put the last few lines in as a ranting FanStory member though I was calling science foolish and a waste of money. I support the sciences, but loved the humor I came up with. Just see a lot of human nature about it all.

    Believe it or not, I love the opportunity of working technical vocabularies into my poems; I feel I have a bit of talent in this, but for the most part, technical terms are still words.

    I thank you for this enjoyable review and the compliments. Mike
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

strong rhyming couplets
alchemists' grand scheme - add apostrophe for plural possessive
an interesting story of the history of chemistry
you work in lots of technical terms without forcing the rhyme and meter - I like that
nice touch of alliteration in speculative, secret
an interesting look at the God particle in your conclusion :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
    Yea, I don't exactly know how I do that, as I think in terms of groups of meanings and then see what words will do it justice. It is more of a sketching process for me, with the final idea and its effects always firmly in my mind. I do enjoy my command over technical vocabularies, and keep an eye out for new words. I don't understand what forced rhyme and meter means, but to me it is when people keep things so tight, it ends up not working emotionally;I prefer a looser approach which is easier for me. Reserving stringent poetry only for when the form calls for it.

    I really enjoyed this review and made the change. Thanks for that and the compliments. I am glad to get the nits out as I sent this off to the CERN people to pass around, and wouldn't want the scientists pointing them out to me with glee. Mike
Comment from Cindy Warren
Excellent
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I saw something about this on the news a couple of weeks ago. It made me wonder what they'd do with this particle now that they've discovered it. Hope it was worth all the trouble and expense.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
    We all often wonder if it is worth the expense, but all one has to do is look at the medical developments to feel that it is, ideas generated and proven in other areas of science often find themselves used in other areas of human existence. With the alchemy of metals, though it didn't convert lead to gold, created metallurgy and many new alloys. I appreciate this review and thank you for it too! Mike
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Excellent
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You painted quite a vivid word picture of man in all his wisdom trying to prove the existence of things unseen. It would appear that the more man tries to disprove God's existence, the further proof arises for His existence. This was an interesting read; the graphics enhanced the story. Curtis

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
    Well, be it religion or science, both requires faith. I enjoyed this review and thank you for it and your compliments. Mike
Comment from friendswithdemons
Excellent
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I liked the flow of words and rhymes and I liked very much that it incorporated a bit of humor while explaining the history of scientific discovery in 7 stanzas.

There were some lines that could use work. For example:
"but another sub-atomic particle exists, theories were boasting". Theories can't boast, they are ideas, theorists however can boast as they are human.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
    I was happy to catch a few nits myself and had my ego deflated with what you picked out, but you are a hundred percent right and I made the change. Better a FanStory reviewer then a CERN scientist pointing it out! I thank you for the correction, review and the compliments. Mike
reply by friendswithdemons on 22-Jul-2012
    You are very welcome and thanks again for writing such a great piece. It was a fun read...sorry for the nit picking but it did catch my eye. I have nits in my eyes, I guess. :)
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2012
    Never feel sorry for pointing things out, as that is why I post here. That's what I actually value the most in a review. Have a great week ahead!
Comment from dmt1967
Excellent
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I like this poem very well written just one point some of the words are a bit hard to read but otherwise very interesting poem thank you

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
    I thank you for the review, and did discover a few corrections to make. Mike
Comment from Kingsland
Excellent
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Of course there will always be more questions. But your poem here hints at the foolishness of man seeking out those answers. I see nothing foolish in discovery. Quantum science is leading us to thing we never knew existed. All that quantum physics is, Is a study of the small. I disagree with your assertion that we should not spend time researching this knowledge. Did you even realize that this quantum physics has a field of energy that when used will be unlimited. It is just one of the things that will come from these studies. Another thing that is derived from quantum physics is medical cures for diseases. This is a relative new science. They are just scratching the surface of. The possibilities are unlimited when it comes to quantum physics. This is a very good poem. But you are quite naive when it comes to these studies... John

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
    I think you got a bit speculative, as I reread the poem and didn't assert that we shouldn't be spending the money, just noting the increasing expense at trying to assertion the illusive. I love doing that myself, but because of my budget, stick with writing and the occasional artwork.

    I might know more about these studies then you think, because I had a friend who now works for NASA, as well an uncle who was chief mathematician for Vitro, which is a missile defense firm. He was great at doing math, but not so good in trying to explain it. Just how his mind worked.

    Developments in the arts, science and medical interests always had this spectrum of cynicism, as well as the problem of generating more questions than something answered; but it is those how continued on who became leaders of such developments. Geese, I was happy I included the history of science as well the underlying motivations of mystery behind it. I do enjoy this review! Than you! Mike
reply by Kingsland on 21-Jul-2012
    Most of the research that is being done is being done in Europe and has no U S dollars within its research. I am surprised at your thinking here. You think that we shouldn't spend money on research. Most of the modern appliances that we all use to day came out of research that was money well spent.
    the amount of money that is being spent on quantum physics by the US government is minuscule is comparison to what they are giving to rich corporation that sent their executives on cruise ship and give them Hugh bonuses. but that is really not what your article was pertaining to. For me, your article was saying that we should't waste our time and money on research. Research is not a foolish pursuit. quantum physics is going to lead the world to a better place and a better quality of life for everyone on this planet...
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
    I never called it a waste of money and these days, I am frightened because we seem to be ceeding what made us great to everyone else at our losses, for misplaced priorities.
reply by Kingsland on 21-Jul-2012
    Your misplaced priorities are lumping together everything. There are things worth researching and quantum physics is one of them. the reason i said what i said to you was because of your word foolishness that you used. Research is not foolishness...
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2012
    This is a humor piece, that was all intended, (the human nature in science) but I will add two additional lines, to at least lead me to understand that God is understanding of us and our desires to explore and question.

    Alchemey was considered utter foolishness from by both governements and the church, yet it was the birth of modern sciences, first with chemistry then physics. That was also sort of my point.
Comment from Jean Lutz
Excellent
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To sum it up, after all of our labors it was there all the time -- all we have to do is open our blind eyes. Thank for both the poetry and the Author Notes.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
    I think so, and the fun in life is realizing that there are those times, you are a fool and to be able to laugh about it. I really enjoyed this review and thank you for it. Oh, on another note, I managed to find Justin Wilson's Louisiana Cooking, so I have about 230 recipes to try, including the basic everyday fare. Have a wonderful weekend, Mike
reply by Jean Lutz on 21-Jul-2012
    Enjoy the cooking. Have you checked out Lay's chip contest? Nice cash prizes. You might be able to give it some flair.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
    I have heard mention of it and even came up with an idea, but haven't entered the contest. Perhaps I will check it out!
reply by Jean Lutz on 21-Jul-2012
    Since you like Cajun/Creole seasonings and food you may want to try the new Tony Chachere's sandwich sauce www.tonychachere.com
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2012
    Thank's for the heads up and I almost purchased it today, but decided to hold off on the order because of ths shipping expense. I got what I need to make my own Tasso ham, but may also make Andoulie from a recipe. I haven't been totally happy with brands from the past and found the Cajun Grocer, who carries more brands but there is a five pound minimum which puts shipping way up there. I think I have the skins for that thickness of sausage and feel the recipe has the taste I am after. I did type the sauce into my note pad.
Comment from ScarletClearwater
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is such a smart write. I'd think you were a scientist or something. Fabulous flow and rhyme. Beautifully penned work. GReat job with this topic.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
    I actually loved science as a student, but with my attitudes became known as the academic smartass. I also enjoyed what I learned about the scientific method, and with something like photography, scientific thought and knowledge definitely played a role, and even after I didn't need to learn it, kept an eye out for the developments in various fields. Most everything has rules, but they also have their various contradictions and anomalies.

    I loved this review and thank you for it and the compliments. Mike