The Power of Balance
A tricky conversation.78 total reviews
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Lee, it's sad that you have to explain the elements of your expert handling of dialog. Your mastery is there for all to see.
You've handled a sensitive subject exactly the way it might be handled in a small souther or western town where no one answers to "outsiders". As beautifully compassionate on an emotional level as it is brilliantly written on the technical level. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Lee, it's sad that you have to explain the elements of your expert handling of dialog. Your mastery is there for all to see.
You've handled a sensitive subject exactly the way it might be handled in a small souther or western town where no one answers to "outsiders". As beautifully compassionate on an emotional level as it is brilliantly written on the technical level. :) Nancy
Comment Written 17-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Thank you, Nancy. Most readers don't need me to explain my style, but it seems to bring comfort to some. I just want them to give me the benefit of the doubt--that I'm doing it on purpose. I'm kind of proud of this story. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
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You have a right to be. It's beautiful work. :) N
Comment from IndianaIrish
It's an absolute travesty that I can't give this incredible story the rating it so richly deserves, Lee. I'm so sorry the rules prevent it.
The power of this story is in what's not written and how gratifying it is to have an author allow a reader to feel beyond words. You're a Master wordslinger for sure, but so often it's the words you hold back that allow the story to come to life and give the reader a chance to be a part of your tale. There are a million things I love about this story, and I'm sure they have been mentioned in reviews already, so let me just tell you this is one of those stories that I'll never forget. i do have to mention one line that made me stop reading the story so I could re-read the sentence over and over.
"We sat quiet for a while, staring out in the same direction, but each of us seein' from a different point of view." Damn, that's one fantastic sentence.
Your talent continues to astound me over and over and makes me thrilled to be here to read your work. Afford you some latitude? My friend, if I had the granting power, I'd give you the as much latitude and longitude you desire to keep your imagination creating stories like this.
Congratulations a wee bit early :>)
Smiles,
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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It's an absolute travesty that I can't give this incredible story the rating it so richly deserves, Lee. I'm so sorry the rules prevent it.
The power of this story is in what's not written and how gratifying it is to have an author allow a reader to feel beyond words. You're a Master wordslinger for sure, but so often it's the words you hold back that allow the story to come to life and give the reader a chance to be a part of your tale. There are a million things I love about this story, and I'm sure they have been mentioned in reviews already, so let me just tell you this is one of those stories that I'll never forget. i do have to mention one line that made me stop reading the story so I could re-read the sentence over and over.
"We sat quiet for a while, staring out in the same direction, but each of us seein' from a different point of view." Damn, that's one fantastic sentence.
Your talent continues to astound me over and over and makes me thrilled to be here to read your work. Afford you some latitude? My friend, if I had the granting power, I'd give you the as much latitude and longitude you desire to keep your imagination creating stories like this.
Congratulations a wee bit early :>)
Smiles,
Indy :>)
Comment Written 17-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Wow, great stuff, Indy. I was afraid I might have been leaving too much out, so your comments are very reassuring. I'm always encouraged when readers feel they can participate in my stories.
I love this story. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
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No, I think you found the perfect balance (hehe I know) between what you wrote and what you wanted the reader to feel from the unwritten word. You are the Master, hw. If this doesn't get into the SoftheM pile I swear I'll write to Tom with a rant he's never seen, and if it doesn't win, I'll send you money myself.
I love this story.
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Thanks, Indy, but I won't hold you to it. Voters are fickle. But I do think I have a good chance to be nominated again. By the way, have you seen the results from the last SotM? I don't know if I came in second or third.
Thanks for everything, Indy. Lee
I went back to the history and found this...
FanStory.com
June 12
"In A Perfect World" by dportwood is the new Story of the Month. In second place finished "Life's Omnipresent Rise and Fall" by Kelleigh Rae. In third place finished "Water Spirit" by humpwhistle.
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Thanks, Indy. But I was thinking about the most recent one--with Royal Flush. I guess they haven't announced yet. Tom's too busy using the front page to promote his revolutionary upgrades. Lee
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It wasn't listed in the history ... just the announcement of the contest. I went to your portfo;io, found the story, clicked on the contest and found you tied for second. Did they never announce the winners??? If not, I'll send a note to Tom.
19 votes Kidnapped by Taurean Monkey
17 votes Second Chances by A.R. Curry
17 votes Royal Flush by humpwhistle
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You found that in my portfolio? I swear I must be walking around with blinders. If I look up the story, I'll find that information?
That's it, I have to do some learning! No, I'm pretty sure there was no announcement. Thanks for the help. Lee
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I sent Tom a pm
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Thanks. I just sent you a PM. Now if Tom sends me a PM I think we'll all be even. Huh?
Comment from BethShelby
Great story, I read when you posted it. It probably won't count for you if I update it.
Excellent story. Not being a Southerner, you make a pretty good one. I can see where one of those "good ole boy" sheriffs might have helped the guilty party along with his alibi seeing as how things seemed balanced enough in the end. After all these Southern towns can't let anything destory their icons. It doesn't work as well outside the South in places like Penn State.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Great story, I read when you posted it. It probably won't count for you if I update it.
Excellent story. Not being a Southerner, you make a pretty good one. I can see where one of those "good ole boy" sheriffs might have helped the guilty party along with his alibi seeing as how things seemed balanced enough in the end. After all these Southern towns can't let anything destory their icons. It doesn't work as well outside the South in places like Penn State.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Thank you so much, Beth. This is high praise from a real Southern gal. I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from purrfect tale
I don't remember the movie, but I'm sure I've seen it. My dad never missed one of Ford's westerns. You captured the feel of the good westerns in this. Nice, tight story and dialogue. You're beginning to give me a complex.
Wal-Mart park(ing) lot now. Or was this on purpose for dialogue?
Matter of fact(,) I doubt we ever will find those master criminals.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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I don't remember the movie, but I'm sure I've seen it. My dad never missed one of Ford's westerns. You captured the feel of the good westerns in this. Nice, tight story and dialogue. You're beginning to give me a complex.
Wal-Mart park(ing) lot now. Or was this on purpose for dialogue?
Matter of fact(,) I doubt we ever will find those master criminals.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Thank you so much, purr. I always look forward to your reviews.
Any time a Ford Western comes on TV, I drop everything else. His films are filled with these beautifully crafted little moments that get overlooked. Anyway, thanks again for this great review. Peace, Lee
Comment from Heaven Bound
This was a pretty interesting story. I rated it a 5 star on the basis that you did what good writing should do - keep us reading to the end. It did seem to be a little cumbersome in the middle, but I couldn't begin to suggest how to change it.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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This was a pretty interesting story. I rated it a 5 star on the basis that you did what good writing should do - keep us reading to the end. It did seem to be a little cumbersome in the middle, but I couldn't begin to suggest how to change it.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Thank you, Heaven Bound. I'm sorry you found it somewhat cumbersome. I was trying to illustrate the fact that both men were doing a dance around the real subject of their conversation.
Peace, Lee
Comment from KathyH
Great story! The dialogue feels authentic and you really build the scene until we finally learn what's really at stake. Loved the notion that this was about "balance". After all, isn't everything? Kathy
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Great story! The dialogue feels authentic and you really build the scene until we finally learn what's really at stake. Loved the notion that this was about "balance". After all, isn't everything? Kathy
Comment Written 16-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Thank you, KathyH. I really appreciate your astute comments. Peace, Lee
Comment from juliaSjames
You keep it real, Lee. You could give lessons on how to make a scene come to life without the writing sounding labored or script-like.
Great use of the film reference to indicate that Sid's acting a role.
Love the way Eddie uses the horses reference to tell Sid and us readers that he empathizes with the mercy killing. Just the kind of thing a friend would do - a verbal hug.
Only saw one possible piece of spag.
"I expected you'da been back out here a might sooner than this, Eddie." - I believe it should be "a mite sooner".
Mesmerizing write.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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You keep it real, Lee. You could give lessons on how to make a scene come to life without the writing sounding labored or script-like.
Great use of the film reference to indicate that Sid's acting a role.
Love the way Eddie uses the horses reference to tell Sid and us readers that he empathizes with the mercy killing. Just the kind of thing a friend would do - a verbal hug.
Only saw one possible piece of spag.
"I expected you'da been back out here a might sooner than this, Eddie." - I believe it should be "a mite sooner".
Mesmerizing write.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Thank you, julia. Your comments mean a lot to me. I always want the reader to find a 'place' within my stories. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
Comment from c_lucas
It's would take an act of God for a man to watch his loved one die painfully a little each day. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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It's would take an act of God for a man to watch his loved one die painfully a little each day. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Thank you, Charlie. I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
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You're welcome, Lee. Charlie
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Lee, this is an absolute masterpiece. You are a damn good writer. Really a pro. I could pick out wonderful lines of description and so on but you don't need me to tell you how superb this is, how complete and perfect in every way. Bravo!!!
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Lee, this is an absolute masterpiece. You are a damn good writer. Really a pro. I could pick out wonderful lines of description and so on but you don't need me to tell you how superb this is, how complete and perfect in every way. Bravo!!!
Comment Written 16-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Thank you so much, Phyllis. Your reviews are always so encouraging--and greatly appreciated. Peace, Lee
Comment from dbmccarter
We have seen a lot of the same movies. I like the reversal in the title. It was a tricky conversation. One I would not want to have if I were the sheriff. On the other hand, If I were the dying person, I hope I would have a friend that good. Hope I interpreted it right. Perfect dialogue.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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We have seen a lot of the same movies. I like the reversal in the title. It was a tricky conversation. One I would not want to have if I were the sheriff. On the other hand, If I were the dying person, I hope I would have a friend that good. Hope I interpreted it right. Perfect dialogue.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2012
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Thank you,dbmccarter. Your interpretation is spot on. Everyone looking for a balance he can live with. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
