Reviews from

Steve's Story-Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Something there is..."
A collection of my poems

95 total reviews 
Comment from vfbryant
Excellent
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Other than the fact that you may be a serial killer, I am impressed. Your little twists on Frost's poem are great, and the ending is terrific. Apparently, you also know my other favorite poem of his--Mending Wall. 'Something there is that doesn't love a wall, that wants it down'. LOVE that poem. Good job.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
    Hah! You get the grand prize for being the only reviewer so far to pick up on the title allusion.
    I actually started this under the misapprehension that frost had said 'he will not MIND me stopping here...' I wanted to say 'Yes, I do mind, actually....' and then I discovered the quote in my head was wrong anyway!
    Thanks for the kind words.
    Steve
reply by vfbryant on 17-Jul-2012
    My pleasure. It's fun to find another writer who's familiar with my favorite Frost poem!
Comment from Denise S
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The lines flowed nicely and I enjoyed reading your poem. Promises should be kept by all who reads this. Keep up the good work

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
    Thank you for the review.
    Steve
Comment from eastneuker
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I enjoyed this and thought it was a very good 'dark side version' of Frost's poem. Very sinister indeed with 'The snow holds secrets dark and deep'. You have made good use of alliteration and rhyming.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
    Thank you for the review.
    Steve
Comment from sgalletti
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Hi Steve! Sorry I've been absent of late. I do love Frost's poem and I absolutely adore what you have done with it! What a creative approach to provide the "dark side version." Terrific imagery, iambic meter and rhyme. Well done! Sue

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
    Thanks, Sue. No need to apologise - I've missed a couple of months myself with moving house, country and job... Getting back into FS madness now, however.
    Steve
Comment from Patrick G Cox
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Hi kiwistevh

This works for me. Good imagery in the words, as good as the original I'd say.

Good work, it's nicely done.

Patrick

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
    Thank you for the very flattering words.
    Steve
Comment from MoonStoneWriter
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Frost must be laughing his head off. I would. If I were he, I would feel honored to have a poet take the time to satirize my work.

I really like the sheer darkness of it and the old story/new story combination had me all the way. Frost for a modern world. There may be a commentary in there somewhere.

The set-up was so well-done.

By the way, Stopping by a woods on a snowing evening is one of my favorite Frost's poems!

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
    Thanks for the great review. I knew there'd be a lot of Frostophjiles out there - what has surprised me is how many reviewers have never heard of the poem.
    Steve
reply by MoonStoneWriter on 16-Jul-2012
    Not heard of it? What is happening? Are we in a literary going to hell in a hand-basket? LOL! Carol
Comment from marycec
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A clever and amusing parody of Frost's famous poem. i think people like the original because the rhythm is soft and lulling. I like the way you used this to subvert that notion.With her beneath the lake you'll sleep is quite chilling if you'll excuse the pun! I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
    Thank you - I had fun playing with alternatives - how about 'You stole my bride, you little creep. Down with the fishes you shall sleep...?
    Steve
Comment from jackpeg
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This chills me to the bone. Certainly the darkest interpretation of Frost's "Stopping by Woods on A Winter's Evening" I have ever heard. More like Alfred Hitchcock than that New England poet. Excellent use of those familiar Frostian phrases: "gives his harness bells a shake" "lovely, dark and deep," etc. Very nicely put together, Steve.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
    Thank you - just wanted to bring the owner of the woods to life, and look what he turned into!
    Steve
Comment from snemes
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I will have to look up the Robert Frost poem you mentioned. Regardless, this stands quite well on it's own. You did a great job creating a dark and sinister mood. Putting it in the point of view of the murderer was an original idea. It adds to the scary effect. Now you must pay for my heart's ache. Terrific line.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2012
    Thank you - here is Frost's famous poem for you to compare...

    Whose woods these are I think I know.
    His house is in the village though;
    He will not see me stopping here
    To watch his woods fill up with snow.

    My little horse must think it queer
    To stop without a farmhouse near
    Between the woods and frozen lake
    The darkest evening of the year.

    He gives his harness bells a shake
    To ask if there is some mistake.
    The only other sound's the sweep
    Of easy wind and downy flake.

    The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
    But I have promises to keep,
    And miles to go before I sleep,
    And miles to go before I sleep.

    Steve
reply by snemes on 16-Jul-2012
    Thank you. It is so considerate of you to send me Frost's poem. It, too, is mysterious. I appreciate now even more how clever your poem is. It is a worthy companion piece. Well done indeed.
Comment from MumEsGirl
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I enjoyed your little poem which is a lovely twist and an improvement of the original.

Strangely enough, it is one of the poems that has stuck in my mind since i heard it at school when I was only 12. Still not impressed, it was simple and told a story, that's all
hugs
kate

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
    Thanks for the nice review.
    Steve