White Lady Revised
a semi ballad about a very nefarious woman.134 total reviews
Comment from squid152
Nice free style you have going on here! We to have a white lady legend going on at YMCA camp when I was a kid. Found out later it was teen age girls in their night gowns sneaking out of their cabins at night to be with their boy friends! LOL!!!-squid
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Nice free style you have going on here! We to have a white lady legend going on at YMCA camp when I was a kid. Found out later it was teen age girls in their night gowns sneaking out of their cabins at night to be with their boy friends! LOL!!!-squid
Comment Written 12-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Thank you Squid.
Comment from write hand blue
Hi Justin, Powerful images about a woman full of evil. With good word flow and strong images showing an appropriate picture. You create a good atmosphere. Well written...Mel.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Hi Justin, Powerful images about a woman full of evil. With good word flow and strong images showing an appropriate picture. You create a good atmosphere. Well written...Mel.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Thanks Mel.
Comment from WilliamDeen
Your poem, White Lady Revised, is interesting indeed. Your poem has a nice bit of rhyme in it. The cadence is smooth and flows well. I did enjoy the story your poem tells of the White Lady. This could actually make a story; or even a novella.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Your poem, White Lady Revised, is interesting indeed. Your poem has a nice bit of rhyme in it. The cadence is smooth and flows well. I did enjoy the story your poem tells of the White Lady. This could actually make a story; or even a novella.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Thak you William.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
It sounds a little bit intriguing, with picture of words about the woman that makes her look like a fairy being as suggested by these lines '...She is so visible
Yet she is a being that no man woman or child
Could ever see.' This poem contains a lot of contrast imagery such as:
'...She laughs in a state of elation with pure and unadulterated joy.
She laughs in a state of lamentation
Keeping it all to herself
As she acts rather confused and coy.
Oh she's like a zeppelin ready to find...' but it is a good run.
ola thomas
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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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It sounds a little bit intriguing, with picture of words about the woman that makes her look like a fairy being as suggested by these lines '...She is so visible
Yet she is a being that no man woman or child
Could ever see.' This poem contains a lot of contrast imagery such as:
'...She laughs in a state of elation with pure and unadulterated joy.
She laughs in a state of lamentation
Keeping it all to herself
As she acts rather confused and coy.
Oh she's like a zeppelin ready to find...' but it is a good run.
ola thomas
.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Thank you Thomas.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is a very graphic piece, so much imagery about an evil lady, a lonely sad lady who is cursed in death. There is a lot to think and ponder about in this poem. Making a very interesting read. xsx
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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This is a very graphic piece, so much imagery about an evil lady, a lonely sad lady who is cursed in death. There is a lot to think and ponder about in this poem. Making a very interesting read. xsx
Comment Written 12-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Thank you Sandra.
Comment from Ed_Anderson
Quite the picture you paint of this woman. You villify her and yet there also seems to be some respect for her, almost like you're trying to redeem her. this was a great piece and I can't wait to read more from you.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Quite the picture you paint of this woman. You villify her and yet there also seems to be some respect for her, almost like you're trying to redeem her. this was a great piece and I can't wait to read more from you.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Thank you Ed.
Comment from Barlock
I thought it was a very powerful message. How did you come up with an idea of writing something like that? I can't even imagine what could cause such thoughts to be born in someone else's mind.
Well ... in any case you managed to bring a message across.
Well done!
Cheers,
JB
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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I thought it was a very powerful message. How did you come up with an idea of writing something like that? I can't even imagine what could cause such thoughts to be born in someone else's mind.
Well ... in any case you managed to bring a message across.
Well done!
Cheers,
JB
Comment Written 12-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Thank you JB. I was reading this book for one of my poetry classes at Saint Andrew's University and the author who just kept referring to this bizarre " White lady" who was revered and feared by people of other cultures.
Comment from Walker_09
Good poem, and I really liked the vocabulary you have chosen. Everything flowed nicely and you've seperated your stanzas well. Good job.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Good poem, and I really liked the vocabulary you have chosen. Everything flowed nicely and you've seperated your stanzas well. Good job.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Thank you Tillster.
Comment from Cedar
For a free verse poem I think it deserves an excellent rating. You certainly tell a grim story about a gruesome lady. Very interesting read, I suppose there are many people out there that fit this discription, men and women.
Bill
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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For a free verse poem I think it deserves an excellent rating. You certainly tell a grim story about a gruesome lady. Very interesting read, I suppose there are many people out there that fit this discription, men and women.
Bill
Comment Written 12-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Thank you Cedar.
Comment from guinea
This is well written. I know such a lady. She lives close to me. I will write about her someday. She is evil. Good job on this.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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This is well written. I know such a lady. She lives close to me. I will write about her someday. She is evil. Good job on this.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
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Ha Thank you for the review Guinea.
