White Lady Revised
a semi ballad about a very nefarious woman.134 total reviews
Comment from givan
I love all the contradictions in her nature, how you presented them so well. She seems so real and to have some of the faults and qualities that we all have. I like how she is so opposite in her qualities and yet they all combine to form her. She is like a trickster, but the only person she is truly tricking is herself.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
  |
I love all the contradictions in her nature, how you presented them so well. She seems so real and to have some of the faults and qualities that we all have. I like how she is so opposite in her qualities and yet they all combine to form her. She is like a trickster, but the only person she is truly tricking is herself.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
-
You nailed the character's ambiguity perfectly Givan. Thank you for the review.
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A good write with imagery.Needs no edit, and it's a pleasant read. The style is bright and well displayed. A good write all round. Mary
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
|
A good write with imagery.Needs no edit, and it's a pleasant read. The style is bright and well displayed. A good write all round. Mary
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
-
Thank you Mary.
Comment from findingmyroom
Hey, Justin, way to describe the disposable allure of a character like the White Witch. Great use of words like elation, coy, ravishing, paradoxical, and so on... Her fate is sealed by her own arrogance.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
|
Hey, Justin, way to describe the disposable allure of a character like the White Witch. Great use of words like elation, coy, ravishing, paradoxical, and so on... Her fate is sealed by her own arrogance.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
-
Thank you Room.
Comment from honeytree
I loved the art work and very interesting words.
We can smile and be happy,helping one another when we can.
Many don't and continue their evil ways until they die.
God is the judge of us all if we are hurting someone we could to hell for evil and hurtful ways.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
 |
I loved the art work and very interesting words.
We can smile and be happy,helping one another when we can.
Many don't and continue their evil ways until they die.
God is the judge of us all if we are hurting someone we could to hell for evil and hurtful ways.
Honey tree
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
-
Thank you very much for the wonderful review and the stars.
-
I am glad you liked the review.
I enjoyed reading them.
honey tree
Comment from Carole Rosa
Justin, This is a very interesting piece. The artwork is certainly appropriate for your poem. (Just between you and me, I know a man that I'd like to place a black rose on his grave.) Great Work. Carole
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
|
Justin, This is a very interesting piece. The artwork is certainly appropriate for your poem. (Just between you and me, I know a man that I'd like to place a black rose on his grave.) Great Work. Carole
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2012
-
Thank you Carole.
Comment from mystery poet
Your opening lines intrigued me and I was fascinated
throughout the write. I am very fond of fantasy and
mystery, and of course this fits well. Obviously Satan
was not amused with her amusements. Creative and an
interesting piece...
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
|
Your opening lines intrigued me and I was fascinated
throughout the write. I am very fond of fantasy and
mystery, and of course this fits well. Obviously Satan
was not amused with her amusements. Creative and an
interesting piece...
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
-
Thank you poet.
-
My pleasure,dear poet!
Comment from Mishelly
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe was one of my favorite books when I was a child, and your poem brought this to life in a new way. Great fantasy with a dark, dreamy style to it. I enjoyed reading this very much.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
|
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe was one of my favorite books when I was a child, and your poem brought this to life in a new way. Great fantasy with a dark, dreamy style to it. I enjoyed reading this very much.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
-
Thank you very much for the six stars and the fantastic review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Justin The way I read you pondering poem make me wonder if this white lady of yours in your poem was denied by both God and the Devil himself?
I say a very original piece of poetry.
Gert
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
|
Hello Justin The way I read you pondering poem make me wonder if this white lady of yours in your poem was denied by both God and the Devil himself?
I say a very original piece of poetry.
Gert
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
-
Thank you Gert. Yeah I guess she is a roaming spirit .
-
You are welcome
Gert
Comment from turtledove
Justin Chopin, funny I was thinking of the White Witch...and then I read your author's notes. Excellent poem. You are so gifted, and pleased to have read this this evening, all the best, turtledove.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
|
Justin Chopin, funny I was thinking of the White Witch...and then I read your author's notes. Excellent poem. You are so gifted, and pleased to have read this this evening, all the best, turtledove.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
-
Thank you dove.
-
You're Welcome!
Comment from Bachus
One thing I found odd about this poem,
and it's that the 'white lady' appears
to be many things but she doesn't
do anything except place a black rose
in her lover's hand... there are a lot
of descriptives as to how she acts:
she laughs, is coy etc. and seems
to be a walking contradiction.
I think you need more action! Like,
why would the devil even care about
her? It just seems silly to me.
It's a good poem... needs a lot of
work though; although, remember, that's
just my lowly opinion.
Bachus
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
 |
One thing I found odd about this poem,
and it's that the 'white lady' appears
to be many things but she doesn't
do anything except place a black rose
in her lover's hand... there are a lot
of descriptives as to how she acts:
she laughs, is coy etc. and seems
to be a walking contradiction.
I think you need more action! Like,
why would the devil even care about
her? It just seems silly to me.
It's a good poem... needs a lot of
work though; although, remember, that's
just my lowly opinion.
Bachus
Comment Written 11-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2012
-
Thanks for the advice bachus.
