Whispers in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Races Begin by BROOKE ANNE"Brook's best lead dog is struck deaf
10 total reviews
Comment from Deejharrington
Terrific chapter! I loved how the suspense is building for the mushers and the readers. I enjoy hearing about each individual dog, like another character in the story. I look forward to reading more.
deb
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Terrific chapter! I loved how the suspense is building for the mushers and the readers. I enjoy hearing about each individual dog, like another character in the story. I look forward to reading more.
deb
Comment Written 30-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Thanks so much, Deb. The last chapter is coming soon. I so glad you took time to review this one. Marie
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my pleasure
deb:)
Comment from Shirley McLain
Exciting races and you put the reader in the action. I liked the detail or the difference between town and village. Great job as always.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Exciting races and you put the reader in the action. I liked the detail or the difference between town and village. Great job as always.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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You are wonderful to take time to review this chapter, Shirley. Thanks so much for such nice comments. Marie
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Marie. How are you doing? Your writing is excellent! I wish I had a six left for you. So sorry. I love your use of imagery throughout. Examples:
"n a warm robe and slippers, I scurry downstairs and let my beautiful Malamute come prancing in with the plume of his tail held high. I sink my hands into his deep fur and rub behind his deaf ears. "Okay, Shemya, we'll be on the trail this morning too."
And:
"His dogs yelp, jerk and lunge forward in their harnesses, anxious to run. He remains calm and speaks soothingly to each dog. I hold my breath for a minute when I see one tangled dog is Libby. Patiently, he gets her untangled and all eight dogs neatly lined up.
I also admire your use of strong verbs to show the action.
One can certainly tell you love the dogs. I must stop by here more often. I appologize for being tardy on reviewing your wonderful writing. Bob
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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Hi, Marie. How are you doing? Your writing is excellent! I wish I had a six left for you. So sorry. I love your use of imagery throughout. Examples:
"n a warm robe and slippers, I scurry downstairs and let my beautiful Malamute come prancing in with the plume of his tail held high. I sink my hands into his deep fur and rub behind his deaf ears. "Okay, Shemya, we'll be on the trail this morning too."
And:
"His dogs yelp, jerk and lunge forward in their harnesses, anxious to run. He remains calm and speaks soothingly to each dog. I hold my breath for a minute when I see one tangled dog is Libby. Patiently, he gets her untangled and all eight dogs neatly lined up.
I also admire your use of strong verbs to show the action.
One can certainly tell you love the dogs. I must stop by here more often. I appologize for being tardy on reviewing your wonderful writing. Bob
Comment Written 28-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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Many thanks for the encouraging review, Bob. Your comments make my day truly bright! Marie
Comment from Sasha
I was thrilled to see your post this morning. This is another fun, fast paced and exciting chapter. I like how Brooke has revised her opinion of outsiders racing their dogs. This has a strong message and I am enjoyed it immensely. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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I was thrilled to see your post this morning. This is another fun, fast paced and exciting chapter. I like how Brooke has revised her opinion of outsiders racing their dogs. This has a strong message and I am enjoyed it immensely. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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The next is the last chapter to kind of a novella. Thanks for reviewingl. I appreciate your interest, Sasha. Plus I await more of your novel!
Comment from forestport12
I like how it is told in first person and switches between two MC's. It makes the plot and characters with more depth. The deaf dog with a big heart steals the show. Another wonderful entry. Stan
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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I like how it is told in first person and switches between two MC's. It makes the plot and characters with more depth. The deaf dog with a big heart steals the show. Another wonderful entry. Stan
Comment Written 28-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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Wow, you chose the most elating comment possible. Thanks a million, Stan.
Comment from jaeladarling
So glad to see the next chapter to this story. :) Still going strong, and I've been enjoying the read. Nice work!
Just one little nit:
"James is tying down his full eight-dog team then he" (Comma after "team")
Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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So glad to see the next chapter to this story. :) Still going strong, and I've been enjoying the read. Nice work!
Just one little nit:
"James is tying down his full eight-dog team then he" (Comma after "team")
Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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I appreciate your comments and very glad you've read other chapters. Thanks for the review.
Comment from Cornelius2000
It's a topic I know little about, but you've crafted some sympathetic characters, including dogs, and the story held my interest. You have a nice balance of dialogue and narrative and the story reads smoothly. Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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It's a topic I know little about, but you've crafted some sympathetic characters, including dogs, and the story held my interest. You have a nice balance of dialogue and narrative and the story reads smoothly. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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Thanks for giving time and interest to this chapter. The next one will be the last of the story.
Comment from Wes Guptill
I'm not sure if this is a young adult novel (it sure reads and feels like one...), so I'm not going to quibble over insignificant errors. However, I will say that even though you have performed revisions earlier in this work, some minor tweaking might be in order in order to overcome some minor mechanical flaws. If left untreated, those things will surely spoil a good storyline.
You have a firm grasp on the story, and it is flowing nicely. Believable characters, events, and dialogue make this work a very good read. However, I was bothered by something that was missing, from your story: namely, any action that transpires during Brooke's race performance. I would have thought a few scenes taken from Brooke the race would create an even realism to the story. After all, racing the dogs is a passion of Brooke's character. So why not throw in a few race moments. I think it would add a little more flavor and depth to this work.
Any way, excellent job with this work. I look forward to reading more.
Salud!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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I'm not sure if this is a young adult novel (it sure reads and feels like one...), so I'm not going to quibble over insignificant errors. However, I will say that even though you have performed revisions earlier in this work, some minor tweaking might be in order in order to overcome some minor mechanical flaws. If left untreated, those things will surely spoil a good storyline.
You have a firm grasp on the story, and it is flowing nicely. Believable characters, events, and dialogue make this work a very good read. However, I was bothered by something that was missing, from your story: namely, any action that transpires during Brooke's race performance. I would have thought a few scenes taken from Brooke the race would create an even realism to the story. After all, racing the dogs is a passion of Brooke's character. So why not throw in a few race moments. I think it would add a little more flavor and depth to this work.
Any way, excellent job with this work. I look forward to reading more.
Salud!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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I very much appreciate your comments. You are surely right about the lack of action in Brooke's racing. I was avoiding repeating what was covered in previous chapters, but you make a point I must give more consideration. Thanks.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Before long I harness (comma after long?)
Mom laughs. "Back home she'll have to do without a cell phone again."
With Amy in town, days fill with much more than running dogs. (need a space between paragraphs.)
"Right there is super guy James." (comma after guy?)
I hold my breath for a minute when I see one tangled dog is Libby. (this sentence seems awkward to me)
Amy says with a swoon, "Wow, look at all that confidence oozing out of him."
I agreed he moved like an athlete in TV gymnastics. (Space between paragraphs)
Interesting story. I love dogs. Just a few spags to fix and it will be great~Debbie
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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Before long I harness (comma after long?)
Mom laughs. "Back home she'll have to do without a cell phone again."
With Amy in town, days fill with much more than running dogs. (need a space between paragraphs.)
"Right there is super guy James." (comma after guy?)
I hold my breath for a minute when I see one tangled dog is Libby. (this sentence seems awkward to me)
Amy says with a swoon, "Wow, look at all that confidence oozing out of him."
I agreed he moved like an athlete in TV gymnastics. (Space between paragraphs)
Interesting story. I love dogs. Just a few spags to fix and it will be great~Debbie
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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Many thanks for catching obvious oversights, Debbie. I appreciate the detail you give me. Marie
Comment from Overthehill
A wonderfully descriptive and imaginery tale which is full of warmth and the optimism of youth. I haven't read any of these before as I'm relatively new to the site, but I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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A wonderfully descriptive and imaginery tale which is full of warmth and the optimism of youth. I haven't read any of these before as I'm relatively new to the site, but I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2012
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I appreciate the time and interest you've given this chapter. Thanks for the review. Marie
