Me Book
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "The Fleas Knees."My Self Biograpy
3 total reviews
Comment from Espresso momma
I enjoyed your poem but felt it was cut off a bit short. I would try to go back and draw a conclusion to your poem. It is an interesting one. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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I enjoyed your poem but felt it was cut off a bit short. I would try to go back and draw a conclusion to your poem. It is an interesting one. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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I'll fix the ending,
Thanks.
Ricky1024
Comment from visionary1234
What a fun piece, despite typing problems! Should be sub-titled "Superman" - I wanted the last verse to wind it all up and exit with a bang though, but it didn't do that ... sort of "wound down" and left me hanging a bit? you say "much much more" which is tantalizing! but it needs a big bang last line of some kind?? just a thought ...
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
|
What a fun piece, despite typing problems! Should be sub-titled "Superman" - I wanted the last verse to wind it all up and exit with a bang though, but it didn't do that ... sort of "wound down" and left me hanging a bit? you say "much much more" which is tantalizing! but it needs a big bang last line of some kind?? just a thought ...
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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I'll fix the ending,
Thanks.
Ricky1024.
Comment from DianeLWood
This poem has good rhythm and flow. The questions to the reader got my mind into gear and made think what, who where? I wondered where the poet was going with it and got an acceptable answer. The only suggestion I can make for improvement is perhaps alter the ending to be a bit more definitive. It has a light flavor about it making it an enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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This poem has good rhythm and flow. The questions to the reader got my mind into gear and made think what, who where? I wondered where the poet was going with it and got an acceptable answer. The only suggestion I can make for improvement is perhaps alter the ending to be a bit more definitive. It has a light flavor about it making it an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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It's partially true and i hate the ending.
I'll do better.
Ricky1024.
