Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 72 "part one, Chapter 22"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
62 total reviews
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Wow! What a father. It's no wonder she ended up with someone like Bobby. Does he beat Louise? I hope Troy rescues her soon.
Roberta
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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Wow! What a father. It's no wonder she ended up with someone like Bobby. Does he beat Louise? I hope Troy rescues her soon.
Roberta
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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thank you for the kind review, no Louise is not physically abused, just emotionally, which is bad enough.
Comment from rheabug
This chapter add another dimension to this story. Somehow I had not thought about Anna's parents. She has been very lucky to have the friends that she has had during her troubled time. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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This chapter add another dimension to this story. Somehow I had not thought about Anna's parents. She has been very lucky to have the friends that she has had during her troubled time. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from MizKat
Barbara - This is another good chapter. You sure are a great writer and story teller. I enjoyed this very much and look forward to reading the rest of this chapter. Kat
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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Barbara - This is another good chapter. You sure are a great writer and story teller. I enjoyed this very much and look forward to reading the rest of this chapter. Kat
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
You've done a great job of showing that Anna's father is a work of art. It's no wonder she would not go to her folks for help.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2012
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You've done a great job of showing that Anna's father is a work of art. It's no wonder she would not go to her folks for help.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mastery
Hi,Barb. I'm glad I was able to read yet another chapter of your book. You really do excel at dialogue, you know. It all seems so natural. Your imagery remains fantastic. I do have a couple of suggestions which both have to do with the same comment. It's a small thing but I think it may improve your writing a little. That is using words that aren't needed. Examples:
"Michael pulled her leg. "Mama, Mama." He reached out his hands." (You don't need "his hands")
and:
"Betty shook the Whites' hands. "I'd better get in the kitchen." She left the room.
Louise called after her, "Please don't go to any fuss over us." (You don't need "she left the room"
Fine work as usual,Barb. Take care. Bob
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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Hi,Barb. I'm glad I was able to read yet another chapter of your book. You really do excel at dialogue, you know. It all seems so natural. Your imagery remains fantastic. I do have a couple of suggestions which both have to do with the same comment. It's a small thing but I think it may improve your writing a little. That is using words that aren't needed. Examples:
"Michael pulled her leg. "Mama, Mama." He reached out his hands." (You don't need "his hands")
and:
"Betty shook the Whites' hands. "I'd better get in the kitchen." She left the room.
Louise called after her, "Please don't go to any fuss over us." (You don't need "she left the room"
Fine work as usual,Barb. Take care. Bob
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and catching those areas, I appreciate it. I am making the changes, now.
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:) Take care, Barb... Bob
Comment from JeffreyStone
Tahnks forsharing this very realistic story. Although society is not as judgmental as it once was, there are some some people who want to judge others while denying their own frailties. Your story is an example of this.
Suggestion:
"That's a really nice offer. I'll consider it and let you know in a few days. (Add close quote).
Jefffey
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2012
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Tahnks forsharing this very realistic story. Although society is not as judgmental as it once was, there are some some people who want to judge others while denying their own frailties. Your story is an example of this.
Suggestion:
"That's a really nice offer. I'll consider it and let you know in a few days. (Add close quote).
Jefffey
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2012
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Thank you for catching that. I appreciate your eagle eye.
Comment from jjstar
"A woman has no business trying to be independent. That's why the good Lord told them to obey their husbands."---WHAT WHAT?
Gees, I don't know whether to hope for a reconciliation between Anna and the parents, or hope she had the strength to say, "get lost." I guess nobody can ever really say or do that with parents, though.
I think that this was a very good way to sew up the transition from hospital to home. Sigh, I guess we're almost out of book aren't we? I'm looking really forward to the ending!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2012
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"A woman has no business trying to be independent. That's why the good Lord told them to obey their husbands."---WHAT WHAT?
Gees, I don't know whether to hope for a reconciliation between Anna and the parents, or hope she had the strength to say, "get lost." I guess nobody can ever really say or do that with parents, though.
I think that this was a very good way to sew up the transition from hospital to home. Sigh, I guess we're almost out of book aren't we? I'm looking really forward to the ending!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome
Comment from Bindu Saxena
I have enjoyed reading the flow.It gets deeper into your veins. I look forward to reading the one that follows soon. However, I am certain that if one reads this kind of a work one would learn a lot, especially about the use of correct diction,grammar and use of punctuation. I wish you all the best.Awaiting more from you soon.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2012
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I have enjoyed reading the flow.It gets deeper into your veins. I look forward to reading the one that follows soon. However, I am certain that if one reads this kind of a work one would learn a lot, especially about the use of correct diction,grammar and use of punctuation. I wish you all the best.Awaiting more from you soon.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from fictionwriter
Man, talk about a judgemental father. Seems that kind of upbringing pushes kids into being rebellious. I can't believe he'd say that about Troy and Anna in front of everyone. Well done. Just one little nit.
"My wife(,) Betty, and her sister
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2012
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Man, talk about a judgemental father. Seems that kind of upbringing pushes kids into being rebellious. I can't believe he'd say that about Troy and Anna in front of everyone. Well done. Just one little nit.
"My wife(,) Betty, and her sister
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and I will check out that nit.
Comment from JW
As the story begins to come to a come, I cannot help but release a sigh. This has definitely been a good one to follow and I hate to see it come to an end.
As usual, great job. JW
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2012
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As the story begins to come to a come, I cannot help but release a sigh. This has definitely been a good one to follow and I hate to see it come to an end.
As usual, great job. JW
Comment Written 25-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2012
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I have another one in the works. I hope you like it. Thank you for the kind review.
