Reviews from

Lonely Hearts Meet

Viewing comments for Chapter 71 "part two, Chapter 21"
Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.

75 total reviews 
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Excellent
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That was a lot for her to endure. But now the healing really can begin. I love that it was Troy who was with her, and allowed Anna to unload. Best of all she now knows that Bobby can never hurt her again. In some ways it will be sad for her, but in more important ways it should allow her some peace.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2012
    Thank you
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

She focused on the wall across from her. There used to be something on [that here/there].

"He will not hurt you[no pause, no comma] again."

Great chapter. I especially like, "I'll be your dream catcher."

Roberta

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Herb
Excellent
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Hey

I've missed huge swathes of this, but it seems to continue along the same, easy to follow vein and common style. Nowt wrong with that.

must be coming to the end soon?

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2012
    I think there is about one chapter left, probably two posts. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Fluffyhead
Excellent
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woah is this the end or is this more. What a great second part to the story. Sorry she had to remember such an awful thing

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2012
    I have probably one chapter left or maybe two posts. Thank you for the kind review,
Comment from Nanashirley
Excellent
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I am so glad that everything is working out for Anna. I think this story is so real that it tugs the old heart strings. That's a talent.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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and (raised) up to see who was talking

"I need to figure out what's real and what isn't?"
-> did you mean to have a (?) here?

A good chapter. I've caught hit-and-miss chapters of your book. Is it okay to say that I'm glad Bobby's out of the picture now? Looking forward to reading more --

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
    Thank you for catching those. I orginally had raised there, then I thought people might think she stood, but it does read better.
Comment from MoonStoneWriter
Excellent
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I went back and read chapter 1 to get a sense of the story, since I have opened the book with this chapter.

Very real.

I was drawn into the plot, from the first chapter which you set up so well. I think I understand the nightmare of the progression of Anna's story up through this one.

Your precise details helped me to play the scenes in my head, which is always a key factor for me as a reader. I like the way you allowed Anna to remember in bits and pieces what happened to her and the fate of Bobby. Not knowing the horrors of abuse myself(married for 37 1/2 years), I have seen it first hand within my husband's family. Fortunately, she survived it without the severity as what Anna faced and her story, seems to be headed toward a happy ending.

As if it could be so for all abused women, Anna's life is going to be healed with Troy.

The last line of this chapter was brilliant as I looked up from my writing desk at my dream catcher hanging on my wall.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review and insight.
Comment from Connie P
Excellent
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An emotional chapter as Anna remembers (through her dream) what happened. I'm glad it's in the light so she can begin to deal with it. Very well-written as always.
Connie

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sloegin
Excellent
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I thoroughly enjoy the way you can pack so much into a chapter.
This critique will sound like just another bunch of roses, but it is so well paced it's hard to find anything seriously off key to expound upon.
I think you went a bit heavy about the empty wall, but you did get tour message across.
Maybe change "an ice-cold feeling" to "an icy feeling"
"Bobby's ...." An ellipsis is three (. . .)never four periods.
"Why do I need security? I'm not a threat to anybody." Should be something like, " Who should I be afraid of?"
I just went back and re read the chapter. Your opening line
"Troy laid Anna on the couch" could be reworded, dumb connotation here.
Sloegin


 Comment Written 20-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
    Thank you for your suggestions. I apprecaite them.
Comment from vigournet
Excellent
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This is a great read, and places me in the centre of the anguish your characters are experiencing. I can tell by your writing that you feel strongly about the issues, and am glad that you are tackling them to bring violence to readers' attention.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review,