Reviews from

Lonely Hearts Meet

Viewing comments for Chapter 70 "part one, Chapter 21"
Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.

75 total reviews 
Comment from RebelRose
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, what a great chapter. Thee is a lot going on with Anna and it doesn't look good. She will need therapy, both physically and emotionally. I hope the memory loss is short-lived.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from ScarletClearwater
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nice job penning this. Good balance of description versus dialogue. Great continuation of your work. This was a really good read.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from AprilShower
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


She is apparently suffering from amnesia. It seems her memory has come back, when she entered the apartment. This leaves me wondering if she will still want to stay there.

Will the abuse continue as long as one member of that family is living? This is well done, Barbara.

April


 Comment Written 11-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Barbara, you written a perfect follow-up chapter. Keeping to Anna's feisty character, you have her insisiting on getting to the apartment. Your dialogue shows her internal struggle and the concerns of her new family extremely well. All-in-all a great chapter. Take care, Bev

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate your support.
reply by Writingfundimension on 11-Jun-2012
    You're welcome, barbara.
Comment from Connie P
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Exceptional chapter, Barbara. Anna's fear made me nervous, you wrote that with a lot of realism. I'll be watching for the next post.
Connie

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate your support.
Comment from Ralph Miller
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes, reads well and well set out. I like the "thinking" text. As a 63yo male, I would never normally read this type of book. Reviewing is great for opening your eyes, widening your horizons. I realise it's only a small bit of the book, so hard to judge, but it reads well. Just one sentence I had trouble with. "Why are we going to there" Can't see a need for "to"
Ralph

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review. I changed that sentence and left a word, thank you for catching it.
Comment from jjstar
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another very good chapter--I really think, as someone who has been there, done that, that she should have been wheeled out in a wheelchair..lol..read the other reviews...I think this was very realistic and reminded me of myself when I was young and had hip surgery. I know its's not the same situation, but same sentiments, etc. Everyone trying to shelter her from the stress..anything that might hamper her recovery...I LOVE TROY!!! He's awesome..looking forward to the next chapter! Write faster....lol

JJ





we going to there-Why are we going there? question mark?

Your Mom and Dad will help.--I'm not sure..but I don't think you need caps on mom and dad--I think--again, not sure--you only capitalize if mom and dad are taking the place of Mr. Jones or Mrs. Jones...something like if you have a pronoun in front, don't capitalize

"It's not your apartment I'm worried about." Troy bit his bottom lip--great line--ya think--no, silly, I'm worried about you! :)

"I wish everybody would quit fussing over me. I'm all right."--my mantra--

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2012
    Thank you for catches those. I needed to wait until I had time to make the corrections.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

this is very well written, barbara, you did a great job writing this chapter where anna goes home and remembers. thanks for the mention in your author notes, lol. have fun in corpus christi

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Chris Tee
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow! Barbara this is an excellent part here. It feels so real and you kept me captivated and so focused with this splendid work.
Well done in deed.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from amada
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Things are moving along, I see. I missed a couple of chapters but I see that Anne is out of critical care. She is a fighter, her memory will be back. Positive!

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2012


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.