Comment from jjstar

Excellent

I just started Loup Garou from the beginning. I wasn't going to comment until I reached the end, but found myself saying, "Wow, this isn't what I expected." I loved the set up with the customers, and especially with the Doberman. I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of the dog.

Great characterizations and dialogue.

I'd give you a six, but seeing as this is an older piece, I think I'll save it for your more current pieces. :)

JJ

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2012

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2012

HI JJ, so good to see you.

I'm glad you went back to the beginning. Without knowing who Darius is from the beginning sort of robs the reader. So glad you're enjoying and I'll take the virtual sixer!

Hugs and thanks,
Gayle

Comment from Rob Caudle

Exceptional

Ok, now we are off and running. Damn I love Darius. I thought the difference between Royal and Bourbon were well done, for those of us that have had a chance to visit The Crescent city it sure rings true. We have similar taste in setting, as some of its magic is set it part in the Big Easy. well done, Gayle, I must scurry of to today's posting.

Rob

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2012

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2012

Oh my, lookie there, a sixer! Thank you so much, Rob. I get off to slow starts sometimes, trying to set the stage, as it were. Once we get rolling, it's better. So glad you liked my 'take' on NO. I've never been there but the web abounds. Thank you so much for the outstanding rating and generous compliments. I really appreciate you so much!

Comment from G.B. Smith

Excellent

Hey there Gayle
This chapter made better sense with the knowledge that it was chapter two. it is well thought out and crafted. I enjoyed it
Bear

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Jun-2012

Hey Bear,

Yea, glad you got to read the fix, too. Sometimes, I don't know. Stuff happens!

Thanks so much for the great comments and review!

Hugs,
Gayle

Comment from bookishfabler

Excellent

Wow, now we are getting somewhere. I felt like I was in the shop. Great job,

Darius hoped for (a) brisk trade.

Ella found an ankle bracelet (-that) she figured would give Jim a chuckle (don't need that)


Ella also found Chef's wish list and the store he wanted her to use. Several hundred dollars later, his tools of the trade were on their way to Hollywood.
By noon they were starved. Ella picked up her cell and called the Retreat. One of the many things included in their package was local transportation
( your friendd EE arrived)

can't wait for the next installment.
hugs
Heidi

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2012

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reply by the author on 02-Jun-2012

LOL, I guess the words off to a slow start should be my motto. Actually, though, after the loup garu chapter, I figured everyone would appreciate a breather.

Dang that EE. I'm going after him with a pair of sharp tweezers. He's gonna be sorry.

Thanks so much for the great review and the encouragement,

Hugs,
Gayle

Comment from Stalking Wolf

Excellent

Story flows along, reader wonders about the jewelry man, dangerous or just loose screws? Where does this Vanna fit into the scheme of things. The writer is leading to somewhere but where. Look forward to finding out. Enjoying.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2012

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reply by the author on 01-Jun-2012

Ah, my friend, we're beginning to shift into gears. With such a large palate, it takes time to get all the players on the board without rushing. I promise it'll be worthwhile to follow.

Thanks so much for the wonderful review!

Hugs,
Gayle

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Amy and Darius are very interesting characters. I can't wait to see how Ella and Terry fit in. I like the animal parts. I am sure they will play an interesting role.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2012

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reply by the author on 01-Jun-2012

Hey Barbara,

I think Amy knows he's a werewolf and finds him interesting, to put it mildly, lol.

Thanks so much for the great comments and stars!

Hugs,
Gayle

Comment from Grammies

Good

Still a few grammar errors but over all excellent. Now the hook! This book sounds promising and now I can't wait to read more. Do cats really have "prominent withers" ? I thought this was a term used for horses.

For a brisk trade
He hadn't received the newest purchases
There was always something coming or going
It irritated him to no end
Vintage jewelry,clothing,
See I believe you can review each line and make these corrections too.
Just FYI you have a great story here just need some tweaking here and there.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2012

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reply by the author on 01-Jun-2012

Oh, Grammie! Where are the grammar errors? I'm going to publish this and really need those edits! Pretty please? LOL, I knew you'd like it if you could get into it a bit more.

And yes, leopards do have very prominent withers, which is why they're the fastest of all land animals. Has something to do with the way they can roll their spines, too. If you've ever seen video of them chasing down lunch in slow motion, ya have to wonder why the other animals even bother, lol.

Thanks so much for the great words,

Hugs,
Gayle

Comment from write hand blue

Excellent

I found this to be well written. With excellent
descriptions and good imagery. Easy to read and
interesting. I did find it to be a little long
for this site, but no matter. Nice work...Mel.

 Comment Written 31-May-2012

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reply by the author on 31-May-2012

Hey Mel, so nice to see you again. Been ages! Showtimebook morphed into Showboat, but it's still little old me behind the moniker.

I always have fits with chapter lengths and usually try to keep them around 1500/1800 words. This one, I just couldn't figure out where to break, but I'll bear that in mind.

Thanks so much for the fine review,

Gayle

reply by write hand blue on 31-May-2012

My pleasure...Mel.

Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

jim and lenny will kill him LOL!

great chapter! didn't notice any spaggies or typos

that leopard sounds so cool! you should put a pic of that on the cover ;)

will be waiting to see what happens next hehe

thanx for sharing! :)

 Comment Written 31-May-2012

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reply by the author on 31-May-2012

Caligyrl, you're going to love this one the best. Wait and see. I'm kinda thinking about the picture I have up for Loup Garu, with the cypress in the stream? It's so creepy. But that was a good visual with the leopard, huh? I'll use it on the back, maybe.

Thanks for the great review.

Hugs,
Gayle

Comment from Ted T

Exceptional

Hi Gayle :)

Outstanding chapter. You caught me off guard at first and then it fell into place. The dogs threw me off because you have dobermans in another book.

Have you shifted genre? I'm getting an idea where this is going.

You have a paragraph spacing issue caused by Evil Eddie. Aside from that, I don't see any other problems.

Ted

 Comment Written 31-May-2012

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reply by the author on 31-May-2012

Hey Ted! A sixer! Wow, thanks so much for that. Yes, while this story and the prologue came from the horror prompt, I've decided that I can work it into the detective series, so Amy and Tony have something new to consider. A werewolf!

I'll get into the edits and try to make EE behave. He's such a rascal.

PS Jeff's hoping to have the DeathMaker ebooks done today! Yeah!

reply by Ted T on 31-May-2012

Hi Gayle :)

I'm sure you're well aware of the challenge you've taken on. Writing a series with a werewolf as a focal character would seem risky to me. Although, novels about vampires are selling.

The fact that you've given your character human characteristics is a plus. Even more so is his being a business man dealing in rare antiques sets him apart from the stereotype.

Good news on DM, that was quick.

BTW: I've been checking some Kindle editions of Patterson's books and they have ragged right margins. Is that normal?

Ted

reply by the author on 01-Jun-2012

Well, Smashbooks is a real bitch and Jeff usually has things tossed back at least once for some obscure format thingy. Makes him crazy. He referrs to himself as a natural bald, but if he keeps up with this hear-tearing, I'm going to have to blow his cover. Tehee, will let you know when it's a go! As to the unjustified right margins, that's ebooks. One of the many things that Smashwords does that's 'different' but there's nothing for it!

Werewolves. Well, Ted, you know me pretty well. Werewolves? About as likely as me writing a porn book, lol. And yet, that horror story prompt came up, and right there and then, the very first 'fantasy' chapter I've ever written popped into my mind! I wrote fantasy! What's with this. I hate fantasy!!

Well, since Darius is going to be suave, debonaire and a werewolf, we can get a story out of here.

I hope.

And what's with Amy? I did not write that, she did. I swear!

Little hussy!

reply by Ted T on 01-Jun-2012

It's Pretty much a given that e-books will have ragged right margins.

I'm with you on most fantasy unless it's a children's tale. I rarely review adult fantasy. The bulk of it, here on FS is bad. The authors seem to believe they can compete "Lord of the Rings" or "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" -- they don't come close.

Surprise, surprise! An FS author, SoSoWriter, has a well written novel on Amazon, "Horseshoes & Hand grenades" great first chapter. The book is SP/POD and looks professional and has justified right margins. I sent the author a complimentary message.

Ted

reply by the author on 01-Jun-2012

Good for you, my friend. I'll check it out and do the same!

reply by Ted T on 02-Jun-2012

You guys are great to work with. Looking forward to DM's birth as a little baby Kindle. Send the invoice and I'll pay up.