Rain
Into the storm60 total reviews
Comment from Gungalo
Oh I saw the movie and this just fits so well. His voice was everywhere, in the sound of the falling rain. Beautiful my girl, beautiful.
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Oh I saw the movie and this just fits so well. His voice was everywhere, in the sound of the falling rain. Beautiful my girl, beautiful.
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Hi there ... Thank you very much! I appreciate this kind and thoughtful review. Very encouraging! I just let my imagination go with this. Thanks for bearing with me!! :o))
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My pleasure.
Comment from Ekim777
I would never dare write something about the supernatural. THe natural right down here on earth is mysterious enough for me. Indeed your piece illustrates more of the natural than the supernatural, to me. Your opening paragraph is all human psychology. Women are usually more adept at sharing and caring than the men folk. THe feminine role is one of adaptation to the male. Your concept of heaven, the shedding of the mortal coil to take on another mysterious substance
Is symbolic of basic Christian tenets, of the most conservative kind. We all like to believe that our nearest and dearest are looking down on us from a better place. Is this what your faith tells you. I think faith, if faith is possible, must be won through great labor.Whatever the case, your symbolism of heaven and the afterlife is rather simplistic, to my mind. It should have been infused with a sense of mystery and the uncanny.Then we come back down to earth and to the earthly woman and rain falls.It reminded me of Shakespeare's immortal lines;" Mercy falleth like the gentle rain upon the earth beneath. It blesseth he that gives and he that takes. Indeed it blesseth all." -Ekim777
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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I would never dare write something about the supernatural. THe natural right down here on earth is mysterious enough for me. Indeed your piece illustrates more of the natural than the supernatural, to me. Your opening paragraph is all human psychology. Women are usually more adept at sharing and caring than the men folk. THe feminine role is one of adaptation to the male. Your concept of heaven, the shedding of the mortal coil to take on another mysterious substance
Is symbolic of basic Christian tenets, of the most conservative kind. We all like to believe that our nearest and dearest are looking down on us from a better place. Is this what your faith tells you. I think faith, if faith is possible, must be won through great labor.Whatever the case, your symbolism of heaven and the afterlife is rather simplistic, to my mind. It should have been infused with a sense of mystery and the uncanny.Then we come back down to earth and to the earthly woman and rain falls.It reminded me of Shakespeare's immortal lines;" Mercy falleth like the gentle rain upon the earth beneath. It blesseth he that gives and he that takes. Indeed it blesseth all." -Ekim777
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Hi Ekim! I am enthralled by your thoughts. HOW interesting and most beautifully expressed. I really appreciate what you have said here and this is a review I wish I could somehow save. Thank you again Ekim!
Comment from Anisa-
Oh!! Lol. I'll be honest, I didn't get it until I read your notes, but now ... I totally get it! Great job with this very interesting write.
Anisa
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Oh!! Lol. I'll be honest, I didn't get it until I read your notes, but now ... I totally get it! Great job with this very interesting write.
Anisa
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Hi there ... Thank you very much! I appreciate this kind and thoughtful review. Very encouraging! I just let my imagination go with this. Thanks for bearing with me!! :o))
Comment from cvcopac
I love the story it appeals to the poet in me. The ending is pure poetry but no more descriptively engaging than the rest. I question the last two sentences in the next to last paragraph. I believe it would read better if they were combined as one continued thought. In fact I believe you should drop the cap on "And," lose the period from the preceeding sentence (third from last) and incorporate all three sentences.
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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I love the story it appeals to the poet in me. The ending is pure poetry but no more descriptively engaging than the rest. I question the last two sentences in the next to last paragraph. I believe it would read better if they were combined as one continued thought. In fact I believe you should drop the cap on "And," lose the period from the preceeding sentence (third from last) and incorporate all three sentences.
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Hi there ... Thank you very much! I appreciate this kind and thoughtful review. Very encouraging! I just let my imagination go with this. Thanks for bearing with me!! :o))
Comment from Scarbrems
This is really different and creative. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I assume powder was snow on earth? Something of that sort? No matter, It was fabulous anyway
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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This is really different and creative. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I assume powder was snow on earth? Something of that sort? No matter, It was fabulous anyway
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Hi there ... Thank you very much! I appreciate this kind and thoughtful review. Very encouraging! I just let my imagination go with this. Thanks for bearing with me!! :o))
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
I really liked this. It seems to have followed the guidelines for the contest. Word count & theme. Nice work! Good luck to you in the contest.
One thing for you to consider is the opening line. I know why you start with (and) but it kind of threw me off.
*Powder watched the people below, pity (being) his only emotion for the mortal condition. He smiled though.
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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I really liked this. It seems to have followed the guidelines for the contest. Word count & theme. Nice work! Good luck to you in the contest.
One thing for you to consider is the opening line. I know why you start with (and) but it kind of threw me off.
*Powder watched the people below, pity (being) his only emotion for the mortal condition. He smiled though.
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Hi there ... Thank you very much! I appreciate this kind and thoughtful review. Very encouraging! I just let my imagination go with this. Thanks for bearing with me!! :o))
Comment from Anastajiya
This is a very nice story. I truly enjoyed reading this! I read through the words and watched the images of the story that flashed through my head! I could not stop reading till the last word! This is great!
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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This is a very nice story. I truly enjoyed reading this! I read through the words and watched the images of the story that flashed through my head! I could not stop reading till the last word! This is great!
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Hi there ... Thank you very much! I appreciate this kind and thoughtful review. Very encouraging! I just let my imagination go with this. Thanks for bearing with me!! :o))
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Your welcome!
Comment from tinams
This is a very unusual and interesting story. It is certainly a very worthy entry to the Supernatural Flash Fiction writing prompt.
Just one spag : ' She went weak with despair. And sudden loneliness for the boy. - should remove full stop after despair
I wish you luck :) Tina
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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This is a very unusual and interesting story. It is certainly a very worthy entry to the Supernatural Flash Fiction writing prompt.
Just one spag : ' She went weak with despair. And sudden loneliness for the boy. - should remove full stop after despair
I wish you luck :) Tina
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Hi Tina! I promise to fix this later today! Thank you so much for this kind and helpful review! Have a wonderful day!! xoxo.
Comment from SaraSoda
I like the presence of this story and the idea behind it. I did have a little trouble trying to figure out who powder was and what happened in the transition between two separate stories here. The cloud sex scene was unexpected. I like the idea you propose at the end of the rain speaking to someone.
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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I like the presence of this story and the idea behind it. I did have a little trouble trying to figure out who powder was and what happened in the transition between two separate stories here. The cloud sex scene was unexpected. I like the idea you propose at the end of the rain speaking to someone.
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 29-May-2012
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Hi Sara...if you like, let me know what to do to improve this...I'll try. Thanks for reading!
Comment from James crofoot
That was pretty cool. You did good with the words you had to deal with. I liked the movie and thisseemed a very good epilogue to it. peace
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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That was pretty cool. You did good with the words you had to deal with. I liked the movie and thisseemed a very good epilogue to it. peace
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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HI James! I'm glad you enjoyed the movie! Thank you and wouldn't it be nice for them to do a part two? lol! Thanks again! I appreciate this! :)
