Rain
Into the storm60 total reviews
Comment from harmony13
Great Supernatural Flash Fiction! I am enjoying Flash Fiction more and more! I absolutely love this! The statement I liked most was "Most humans relied on an odd system of give and take". Even though it is supernatural
fiction - I think this is true! The story flowed and connected well. The picture was great it fit the topic and enhanced the read. Thank you...........harmony13
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
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Great Supernatural Flash Fiction! I am enjoying Flash Fiction more and more! I absolutely love this! The statement I liked most was "Most humans relied on an odd system of give and take". Even though it is supernatural
fiction - I think this is true! The story flowed and connected well. The picture was great it fit the topic and enhanced the read. Thank you...........harmony13
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
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Hi there! Please forgive me this late reply? I want to thank you so much...I hope we all have good journeys after this life. That movie is so neat...albeit, weird. Thank you again! Much love!! Susan
Comment from Carrie Carson
What a marvel of a mesh between rain storms events and the human-like actions attached to them, the ecstasy of the union in the sky.
Good form, no spag issues, well done.
I love that she ended up engulfed in rain that spoke to her.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
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What a marvel of a mesh between rain storms events and the human-like actions attached to them, the ecstasy of the union in the sky.
Good form, no spag issues, well done.
I love that she ended up engulfed in rain that spoke to her.
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
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Hi there! Please forgive me this late reply? I want to thank you so much...I hope we all have good journeys after this life. That movie is so neat...albeit, weird. Thank you again! Much love!! Susan
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Sure, no problem...life catches us up in other tasks...Take care, Carrie
Comment from xxjsfuncxxxity
This is a beautiful piece. Surreal and poetic and just abstract enough to be whimsical, without being esoteric, if that makes sense. Very satisfying read.
One small proofreading correction....
This washed melancholy over his consciousNESS for the ones who tried to rise above the strange selfishness.
Great work. Keep going...
cheers
js
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
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This is a beautiful piece. Surreal and poetic and just abstract enough to be whimsical, without being esoteric, if that makes sense. Very satisfying read.
One small proofreading correction....
This washed melancholy over his consciousNESS for the ones who tried to rise above the strange selfishness.
Great work. Keep going...
cheers
js
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
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Hi there! Please forgive me this late reply? I want to thank you so much...I hope we all have good journeys after this life. That movie is so neat...albeit, weird. Thank you again! Much love!! Susan
Comment from LadyTreana
Good writing. Your descriptions are so imaginable and helped me to really picture where you were going with his imagine and in his mind. Very good imagery.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
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Good writing. Your descriptions are so imaginable and helped me to really picture where you were going with his imagine and in his mind. Very good imagery.
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
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Hi there! Please forgive me this late reply? I want to thank you so much...I hope we all have good journeys after this life. That movie is so neat...albeit, weird. Thank you again! Much love!! Susan
Comment from Showboat
WOW! That was simply outstanding. Here, have a sixer!
I love the way you write, so lyrical it almost has the rhythm of poetry or a song. Very well done. Your final sentence was positively exquisite.
Good luck with this one,
Gayle
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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WOW! That was simply outstanding. Here, have a sixer!
I love the way you write, so lyrical it almost has the rhythm of poetry or a song. Very well done. Your final sentence was positively exquisite.
Good luck with this one,
Gayle
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Hi Gayle! Thank you so much...the word 'exquisite' is a wonderful compliment and so encouraging! I'm delighted you like this! What a joy this review is!! Susan
Comment from Lulubel
As a "Powder" fan, I like what you visualised for his next step in the journey of existence.
You were able to create a believable scenario for incorporeal beings - 'particles mixed like rain and fog'.
I would suggest that in the second last paragraph you join the last two sentences so that they flow more smoothly - And sudden loneliness for the boy she had grown to love.
Your last paragraph is so eloquent and your last line is perhaps my favourite line of the story.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
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As a "Powder" fan, I like what you visualised for his next step in the journey of existence.
You were able to create a believable scenario for incorporeal beings - 'particles mixed like rain and fog'.
I would suggest that in the second last paragraph you join the last two sentences so that they flow more smoothly - And sudden loneliness for the boy she had grown to love.
Your last paragraph is so eloquent and your last line is perhaps my favourite line of the story.
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2012
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Hi there! Please forgive me this late reply? I want to thank you so much...I hope we all have good journeys after this life. That movie is so neat...albeit, weird. Thank you again! Much love!! Susan
Comment from RoxiMac
Great job of tying the supernatural into flash fiction. I like your take on "supernatural," as well as the language you used to convey both characters. Are you referring to the character in the movie, "Powder?" If so, well done!
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Great job of tying the supernatural into flash fiction. I like your take on "supernatural," as well as the language you used to convey both characters. Are you referring to the character in the movie, "Powder?" If so, well done!
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Hi! Please tell me what I can do to improve this? I loved the movie Powder and always wondered what happened to him at the end? I'm curious as to why the four? Thanks if you can let me know! ")
Comment from pramod tomar
HAMARA PYARA SA BACHPAN,
SABSE NYARA SA BACHPAN,
KHEL KOOD AUR KHANA PEENA,
YAHI HAMARA THA SANSAR.
PADAI-LIKHAI KA BHOJ HOTA HAI KYA,
YAH SAB THA HAMARI SOCH SE SAATH SAMUNDAR PAAR,
SUNAI DETA THA HAR GAR MAI KILKARIRO KA AAHAKAR,
DOKHA-KAPAT-AHANKAR HOTA HAI KYA ,
YE TOH HAMARI DOSTI KI KITAAB SE THA BAHAR,
MAA KA KHANA LEKAR HAMARE PICHHE DODNA,
YAHI HAMARA THA SANSAR,
KHO GAYA NAA JANE KAHAPAR HAMARA PYARA SA SANSAR,
HAMARA PYARA BACHPAN SABSE NYARA BACHP
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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HAMARA PYARA SA BACHPAN,
SABSE NYARA SA BACHPAN,
KHEL KOOD AUR KHANA PEENA,
YAHI HAMARA THA SANSAR.
PADAI-LIKHAI KA BHOJ HOTA HAI KYA,
YAH SAB THA HAMARI SOCH SE SAATH SAMUNDAR PAAR,
SUNAI DETA THA HAR GAR MAI KILKARIRO KA AAHAKAR,
DOKHA-KAPAT-AHANKAR HOTA HAI KYA ,
YE TOH HAMARI DOSTI KI KITAAB SE THA BAHAR,
MAA KA KHANA LEKAR HAMARE PICHHE DODNA,
YAHI HAMARA THA SANSAR,
KHO GAYA NAA JANE KAHAPAR HAMARA PYARA SA SANSAR,
HAMARA PYARA BACHPAN SABSE NYARA BACHP
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Oh how I wish I could read this! I know it would be an interesting and encouraging review...if you can read THIS, please know I thank you Pramod and welcome you to the site! Susan
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a nice follow up to the film, which ended without much explanation about the unexplainable. This fills that space very well.
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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This is a nice follow up to the film, which ended without much explanation about the unexplainable. This fills that space very well.
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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OH I must remember this is blind. Thank you Bill! I'm delighted you enjoyed this...thanks again!!
Comment from gazzagodbod
ok so i had one sixer left that i was saving but then the end of this piece blew me away and i had no choice but to part with it thanks gazza
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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ok so i had one sixer left that i was saving but then the end of this piece blew me away and i had no choice but to part with it thanks gazza
Comment Written 30-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Hi Gazz~Hey there! Thank you so much. I'm thrilled you liked this and especially the end. I love that movie and hope you were able to see it too? Wow...you made my day. :) Susan
