Voice in the Dark
A freestyle poem12 total reviews
Comment from reconciled
Hello Jo how are you? wonderful poem, that speaks to the great affection the two of you shared. You were very fortunet to have had such a mother. Great read love Michael
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Hello Jo how are you? wonderful poem, that speaks to the great affection the two of you shared. You were very fortunet to have had such a mother. Great read love Michael
Comment Written 26-May-2012
reply by the author on 30-May-2012
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Thanks Michael for reviewing my poem. I appreciate your input.
Comment from Janie King
This is beautiful and so well stated..your mother should be so honored and pleased to have it as a gift to cherish. Great poem. God bless.
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
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This is beautiful and so well stated..your mother should be so honored and pleased to have it as a gift to cherish. Great poem. God bless.
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
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Thank you Janie for the six stars and for your comments. I wanted to write something for her since I'd written several things for my dad lately.
Comment from Val Crisson
Very touching birthday card for your Mom. I love the lines regarding her's was the voice that calmed you in the dark. True of some mothers but unfortunately not all. Very form too, I like it.
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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Very touching birthday card for your Mom. I love the lines regarding her's was the voice that calmed you in the dark. True of some mothers but unfortunately not all. Very form too, I like it.
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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Thank you Val for your kind review. Yes, I know how blessed I am.
Comment from anydamaru
Here I remembered a saying that nothing is comparable to mothers love and care, and that truly is so. The person who will always look out for you, regardless of your situations). Alex
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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Here I remembered a saying that nothing is comparable to mothers love and care, and that truly is so. The person who will always look out for you, regardless of your situations). Alex
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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Thanks Alex for your comments and review on my poem. I appreciate your input.
Comment from Tawnyowl
This is a lovely touching and simple poem to your Mum. It reads so well, it is like a cascade of easy words falling off the page. This is heartfelt and true and of a genuine resonance. I liked its form very much. It is in many ways perfect !
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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This is a lovely touching and simple poem to your Mum. It reads so well, it is like a cascade of easy words falling off the page. This is heartfelt and true and of a genuine resonance. I liked its form very much. It is in many ways perfect !
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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Why, thank you. It means a lot to me that you liked it.
Comment from SaraSoda
I like the idea and you have a lot of material to work with here. There are a few sticky parts that could be smoothed out to make a better flowing poem. But overall, it reads Ok.
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reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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I like the idea and you have a lot of material to work with here. There are a few sticky parts that could be smoothed out to make a better flowing poem. But overall, it reads Ok.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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Thank you Sara for your review. I'm open to any suggestions on how you think I can improve it. I'll be giving it to my mother and I would like it to be spot on.
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Here are the sticky parts I was talking about. It is the parts where you repeat taught, it doesn't need to be repeated in the following line as it is implied by the former. Also, I think you meant her eyes looked upon you, but joining dark curly hair in that sentence implicates the hair as well. All has the same meaning as everything so you don't need to add that into that part as your meaning is already clear. Of course this is just my opinion but I hope that helps.
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Thank you so much for giving me some really good suggestions on how to make my poem better. I will definitely take your advice and take a second look and change. I thought about it later about putting the hair with eyes not working. You just confirmed my thought. Thanks again. I appreciate an honest and helpful review.
Comment from guinea
Wonderful poem to your mom. Well written with love and emotion I felt. It flows smoothly and elegantly. Thought provoking. God bless.
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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Wonderful poem to your mom. Well written with love and emotion I felt. It flows smoothly and elegantly. Thought provoking. God bless.
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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Thank you for reviewing my poem. I am really glad you liked it.
Comment from joann r romei
what a lovely tribute to mom, she must be a special person, and shes 83, wow, at first i thought it was a spiritual poem but the you dedicated it to her,
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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what a lovely tribute to mom, she must be a special person, and shes 83, wow, at first i thought it was a spiritual poem but the you dedicated it to her,
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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Yes, my mom is very special. Thank you for reviewing my poem and your kind comments.
Comment from T. L. Grant
What a beautiful poem to your mother. It flowed nicely and gave me a wonderful picture in my mind of your relationship with her. A very moving poem.
T.L.
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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What a beautiful poem to your mother. It flowed nicely and gave me a wonderful picture in my mind of your relationship with her. A very moving poem.
T.L.
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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Thank you T.L. for your comments and review. Yes, I can't imagine my life without her.
Comment from Darakhshan17
Wow.Gave me goosebumps. Nothing, noone can be like a mother. That unconditional love that we seek everywhere and find nowhere is but in the mother's lap.
How well said "Looked upon my innocence and declared me
Beautiful"-She is the one who will find you beautiful no matter what. Well done. Thanks for sharing. Makes me miss my mom.
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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Wow.Gave me goosebumps. Nothing, noone can be like a mother. That unconditional love that we seek everywhere and find nowhere is but in the mother's lap.
How well said "Looked upon my innocence and declared me
Beautiful"-She is the one who will find you beautiful no matter what. Well done. Thanks for sharing. Makes me miss my mom.
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 23-May-2012
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Thank you so much for your gracious review. I am glad you could feel my love for my mother.
