Oils and Dreams
flash fiction contest16 total reviews
Comment from elgone
This piece expresses a lot of frustration that is associated the inner being of an artist. I believe there is an artist inside everyone but in most people it is suppressed. It gets to the point that the artist has to survive and the means of doing that takes over the life. You have conveyed it very well.
E
reply by the author on 12-May-2012
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This piece expresses a lot of frustration that is associated the inner being of an artist. I believe there is an artist inside everyone but in most people it is suppressed. It gets to the point that the artist has to survive and the means of doing that takes over the life. You have conveyed it very well.
E
Comment Written 12-May-2012
reply by the author on 12-May-2012
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Exactly right...we think we need to give up our inner expressions and trudge through conformity and assembly lines.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Very deep stuff, sad, thought provoking. A fascinating and original story. Great imagination, Ingrid. Well done.
Found a few wee thingy's. Nothing that will stop the earth from turning, mind you.
xx
, while I posted my rage on screen or canvas().
When I arrived on Ellis Island, folded into the skirts of a woman, who for one singular moment had compassion and helped me gain entry into America. - this doesn't make sense. It does if you lose the 'When'.,
Both of us were weeping(,) feeling like lost souls. Somehow our sorrow embraced us() and drew us into intimacy.
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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Very deep stuff, sad, thought provoking. A fascinating and original story. Great imagination, Ingrid. Well done.
Found a few wee thingy's. Nothing that will stop the earth from turning, mind you.
xx
, while I posted my rage on screen or canvas().
When I arrived on Ellis Island, folded into the skirts of a woman, who for one singular moment had compassion and helped me gain entry into America. - this doesn't make sense. It does if you lose the 'When'.,
Both of us were weeping(,) feeling like lost souls. Somehow our sorrow embraced us() and drew us into intimacy.
Comment Written 11-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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You know, I'm taking the spag course from Brooke and still, I duel with commas. Thanks.
Comment from Artasylum
what an incredible and powerful story you have penned here so beautifully said and the flow is perfection. i loved his story and so interesting the world that we are living in will never cross such difficulties but nonetheless... a good life was lived. yours, diana
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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what an incredible and powerful story you have penned here so beautifully said and the flow is perfection. i loved his story and so interesting the world that we are living in will never cross such difficulties but nonetheless... a good life was lived. yours, diana
Comment Written 11-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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You are vey kind and generous. I'm glad my word affected you, it is as much as an writer can hope for.
Comment from forestport12
I just noticed how you avoid the simile and sink in the metaphors with brilliant opportunities. the symbolism of a man wanting to have his mind again and using the art gallery as a play on his mind and his legacy. So much depth here.
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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I just noticed how you avoid the simile and sink in the metaphors with brilliant opportunities. the symbolism of a man wanting to have his mind again and using the art gallery as a play on his mind and his legacy. So much depth here.
Comment Written 11-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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Another bouquet of stars...my, my, and to think I was only expecting a potted plant for Mother's Day. Thank you. An intriguing mind-set occurred as the keys were tapping their way. I think I too, may be losing my mind.
Comment from ajdevore
This is beautifully written but WAY over my head. I THINK the first part, at the art exhibit is hallucination. Is that right? If so maybe italics would help.
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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This is beautifully written but WAY over my head. I THINK the first part, at the art exhibit is hallucination. Is that right? If so maybe italics would help.
Comment Written 11-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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Nah, that's the child prodigy that got a break in Poland at 16 to show his art and it bombed, he just walked away and sailed to America, gave up on himself as an artist and became a laborer.
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Oh Wow Thanks boy did i mis the boat
Comment from Spitfire
Beautiful writing from beginning to end. Love his attempts to discover himself through art. Great line:I will remember the tired sweat, the smell of blood imbedded in her skirt, the folds of tweed, that freed me from my past
Also superb: The children come each day, patting me on the shoulder, willing me to die. I am not ready and twirl my hand in the air.
And then the silent scream of what the gesture means. Even his wife doesn't get it. How sad.
Do wish I had a six left. This deserves ten! Enter it into a flash fiction contest offline too.
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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Beautiful writing from beginning to end. Love his attempts to discover himself through art. Great line:I will remember the tired sweat, the smell of blood imbedded in her skirt, the folds of tweed, that freed me from my past
Also superb: The children come each day, patting me on the shoulder, willing me to die. I am not ready and twirl my hand in the air.
And then the silent scream of what the gesture means. Even his wife doesn't get it. How sad.
Do wish I had a six left. This deserves ten! Enter it into a flash fiction contest offline too.
Comment Written 11-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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You are very kind. If you felt it, then sincerily that is my reward, ingrid
Comment from tinams
This was a well written and wonderfully emotional story. It is a very worthy entry to the Flash Fiction Competition and I wish you luck. :) Tina
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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This was a well written and wonderfully emotional story. It is a very worthy entry to the Flash Fiction Competition and I wish you luck. :) Tina
Comment Written 11-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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Many thanks for both the reading and the good wishes.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Trapped in his dementia, this poor artist is near death. Will God grant him one last lucid moment to set everyone's perceptions right? Will they recognize it if it comes? Well done, Ingrid. :) nancy
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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Trapped in his dementia, this poor artist is near death. Will God grant him one last lucid moment to set everyone's perceptions right? Will they recognize it if it comes? Well done, Ingrid. :) nancy
Comment Written 11-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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Thanks, perhaps he is completely lucid in his own dimension.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, spiritual echo, you did a great job writing this story about the man that lost his dreams and found sadness at the end of his life. one spag i spotted-- we were weeping instead of we wereweeping. good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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this is very well written, spiritual echo, you did a great job writing this story about the man that lost his dreams and found sadness at the end of his life. one spag i spotted-- we were weeping instead of we wereweeping. good luck in the contest
Comment Written 11-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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Thanks so much for finding the spag.
Comment from Realist101
Hi Ingrid! I love this, as an artist this really rings true. I like the romance and sadness all combined to make an eloquent story. I see just a few words you could cut..i.e./ an American, an orphan--maybe say an American orphan, that eliminates the second 'an'...remember flash is supposed to be bare boned? I had to slash and burn my entry. Oh, add a space between 'were' and 'weeping'...you type fast too! Cut some words, and add that space and I'll send you a sixer! HUG! Susan
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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Hi Ingrid! I love this, as an artist this really rings true. I like the romance and sadness all combined to make an eloquent story. I see just a few words you could cut..i.e./ an American, an orphan--maybe say an American orphan, that eliminates the second 'an'...remember flash is supposed to be bare boned? I had to slash and burn my entry. Oh, add a space between 'were' and 'weeping'...you type fast too! Cut some words, and add that space and I'll send you a sixer! HUG! Susan
Comment Written 11-May-2012
reply by the author on 11-May-2012
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Changed a bit of it, even added some. Nothing is ever finished is it?
