Mirror
a man discover himself.....95 total reviews
Comment from artemis53
I like this, Joe. It's like a sudden discovery or maybe even a shocking one. Very well done. It's light and it's gives me a bit to think on ;)
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I like this, Joe. It's like a sudden discovery or maybe even a shocking one. Very well done. It's light and it's gives me a bit to think on ;)
Comment Written 20-May-2012
Comment from tinams
Your poem is in fine 5-7-5 form and you use good personification of the mirror. It reminds me of Sylvia Plath's Mirror. I just feel that the second line lets it down as it doesn't really mean anything and would read better as 'staring deep into my eyes' - just a suggestion :) Tina
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Your poem is in fine 5-7-5 form and you use good personification of the mirror. It reminds me of Sylvia Plath's Mirror. I just feel that the second line lets it down as it doesn't really mean anything and would read better as 'staring deep into my eyes' - just a suggestion :) Tina
Comment Written 20-May-2012
Comment from Aletheia(2)
Very creative. I like the imagery. :) I would suggest maybe changing the font color to something darker and more contrasting. It's a little hard to see. Good idea to use the pause in the last line. It makes it more effective. Good luck! Anabelly
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Very creative. I like the imagery. :) I would suggest maybe changing the font color to something darker and more contrasting. It's a little hard to see. Good idea to use the pause in the last line. It makes it more effective. Good luck! Anabelly
Comment Written 20-May-2012
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes I liked this it is a lovely well written and creative contest entry well done and good luck in the contest regards Fuller Jill
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Yes I liked this it is a lovely well written and creative contest entry well done and good luck in the contest regards Fuller Jill
Comment Written 20-May-2012
Comment from TammyGail
This was a creative 5-7-5 verse averagejoe
i enjoyed the simplicity yet cleverness
weaved into your poem
few words used yet well expressed
thanks for sharing it was a pleasure
best of luck
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This was a creative 5-7-5 verse averagejoe
i enjoyed the simplicity yet cleverness
weaved into your poem
few words used yet well expressed
thanks for sharing it was a pleasure
best of luck
Comment Written 20-May-2012
Comment from Tawnyowl
This is quite deep really, the way you suggest the two images of the one person, and I was amused by the thought of this distancing, yet being so close as One. It's a bit like the Abba song, 'Me and I'. I hope you will write a lot more.
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This is quite deep really, the way you suggest the two images of the one person, and I was amused by the thought of this distancing, yet being so close as One. It's a bit like the Abba song, 'Me and I'. I hope you will write a lot more.
Comment Written 20-May-2012
Comment from Val Crisson
I really enjoyed the uniqueness and creativity of this senyru type haiku (that is how I would title it). It is refreshing and very thought provoking
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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I really enjoyed the uniqueness and creativity of this senyru type haiku (that is how I would title it). It is refreshing and very thought provoking
Comment Written 20-May-2012
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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thank you for your kind remarks
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thank you for your kind remarks
Comment from oozer
How is it I couldn't have thought of that?
I think that makes a marvellous haiku. The only thing is that the title gives the snow away. I think I would've called it Enigma and not solved it for us. Cheers!
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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How is it I couldn't have thought of that?
I think that makes a marvellous haiku. The only thing is that the title gives the snow away. I think I would've called it Enigma and not solved it for us. Cheers!
Comment Written 20-May-2012
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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i wish i would of thought of that.... thanks foe your advise....
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i wish i would of thought of that.... thanks foe your advise....
Comment from Janet Foor
Welcome to Fanstory. I'm fairly new at this site too. I enjoyed reading your poem, "Mirror". I'm always impressed with syllable county poems that say so much in so few words. Nice work.
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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Welcome to Fanstory. I'm fairly new at this site too. I enjoyed reading your poem, "Mirror". I'm always impressed with syllable county poems that say so much in so few words. Nice work.
Comment Written 20-May-2012
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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thank you for your nice reply
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thank you for your nice reply
Comment from Marie Salerno
So hard to get meaning or relevance into a 5-7-5 poem (I feel anyway). You cleverly worked some magic here - I like the simplicity and yet the deeper meaning versed. I like this alot, and the way you delivered in such a small space:) Good job! Best of luck with the contest ...
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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So hard to get meaning or relevance into a 5-7-5 poem (I feel anyway). You cleverly worked some magic here - I like the simplicity and yet the deeper meaning versed. I like this alot, and the way you delivered in such a small space:) Good job! Best of luck with the contest ...
Comment Written 20-May-2012
reply by the author on 20-May-2012
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thank you
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thank you
