The Procrustean Bed
contest entry for The First Page19 total reviews
Comment from Titanx9
There is a lot of description here and you've set up enough suspense to lure the reader in. It's sort of like Jack the Ripper, a respected member of monarchy by day and a wanton madman by night. Excellent premise.
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There is a lot of description here and you've set up enough suspense to lure the reader in. It's sort of like Jack the Ripper, a respected member of monarchy by day and a wanton madman by night. Excellent premise.
Comment Written 08-May-2012
Comment from inkedone
Very descriptive writing. It's really easy for the reader to visualize. Interesting storylinge as well. Good job. I like your style of writing.
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Very descriptive writing. It's really easy for the reader to visualize. Interesting storylinge as well. Good job. I like your style of writing.
Comment Written 08-May-2012
Comment from guinea
It was a good first page. It started with action so to make the reader go on reading. the man who wanted the woman he couldn't have.
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It was a good first page. It started with action so to make the reader go on reading. the man who wanted the woman he couldn't have.
Comment Written 08-May-2012
Comment from katmckeown
The plot is easy to engage in as a reader. You descriptions of emotions and actions are clear and have an easy flow to the movement of the story.
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The plot is easy to engage in as a reader. You descriptions of emotions and actions are clear and have an easy flow to the movement of the story.
Comment Written 08-May-2012
Comment from dportwood
apelle,
Very well done first page of a novel. You have laid the foundation for an interesting story. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Duane
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apelle,
Very well done first page of a novel. You have laid the foundation for an interesting story. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Duane
Comment Written 07-May-2012
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your highly descriptive, well-written first page effectively conveys the theme that evil is alluring and can become addictive and inescapable. Excellent
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Your highly descriptive, well-written first page effectively conveys the theme that evil is alluring and can become addictive and inescapable. Excellent
Comment Written 07-May-2012
Comment from joann r romei
this is good, and i did not know about the legend, how can i get there? im 5foot2 and want to be taller, hope he can do some stretching on my legs, good job
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this is good, and i did not know about the legend, how can i get there? im 5foot2 and want to be taller, hope he can do some stretching on my legs, good job
Comment Written 06-May-2012
Comment from TammyGail
Wow..This was one hell of a read and worked like liquid gold as a first page. you truly pull the reader in and keep them until the closing. Your notes were compelling and creepy..lol thanks for sharing and best of luck
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Wow..This was one hell of a read and worked like liquid gold as a first page. you truly pull the reader in and keep them until the closing. Your notes were compelling and creepy..lol thanks for sharing and best of luck
Comment Written 06-May-2012
Comment from Peridot73
A very interesting first page which could become a most intriguing story. The character and environmental descriptions are clear and enhance the writing. Peridot
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A very interesting first page which could become a most intriguing story. The character and environmental descriptions are clear and enhance the writing. Peridot
Comment Written 06-May-2012
Comment from WilliamDeen
Man this first page of your story really has me interested in this story. It has my interest peaked and wanting more. You have very interesting characters, indeed.
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Man this first page of your story really has me interested in this story. It has my interest peaked and wanting more. You have very interesting characters, indeed.
Comment Written 06-May-2012
