The English Assignment
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "To the throne"The author tells a tale how he tried to better him
30 total reviews
Comment from katmckeown
I have come in so to speak in the middle of the story, not having read what has come before. I feel you have created a place where you characters are reacting and your plot is unfolding.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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I have come in so to speak in the middle of the story, not having read what has come before. I feel you have created a place where you characters are reacting and your plot is unfolding.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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thank you
Comment from guinea
i have heard of these things happening to a few people. It was a warning that you may never make it back to heaven if you dn't acept him and live for him. He has to be first in your life. I tell you the truth.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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i have heard of these things happening to a few people. It was a warning that you may never make it back to heaven if you dn't acept him and live for him. He has to be first in your life. I tell you the truth.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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thank you.
Comment from Starlit Ink
This was a nice story about how a walk with god can sometimes get off track, but we still try. It's never too late to get back on course.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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This was a nice story about how a walk with god can sometimes get off track, but we still try. It's never too late to get back on course.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you
Comment from juliaSjames
You write with an honesty and vigor that add zest to this non-fictional account of meeting God.
Who knows if this encounter is dream of vision? What is important is your reaction. It seems that this incident strengthened your faith.
"I can remember being satisfied and happy."
Your soul received what it needed.
God bless you on your journey.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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You write with an honesty and vigor that add zest to this non-fictional account of meeting God.
Who knows if this encounter is dream of vision? What is important is your reaction. It seems that this incident strengthened your faith.
"I can remember being satisfied and happy."
Your soul received what it needed.
God bless you on your journey.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you
Comment from ivydevine
Paranoia runs rampant. I sometimes wish I could be paranoid about this subject. then again am glad I've made a choice not to expect to be perfect on earth. It's not practical or realistic. Hope this was just a fun fictional write for you and not the way you really feel. You definitely are a good writer and made me feel you were taking about your true fears.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Paranoia runs rampant. I sometimes wish I could be paranoid about this subject. then again am glad I've made a choice not to expect to be perfect on earth. It's not practical or realistic. Hope this was just a fun fictional write for you and not the way you really feel. You definitely are a good writer and made me feel you were taking about your true fears.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you
Comment from MumEsGirl
A suberbly written story. Real or just a dream. When you arrive at a peaceful place it is good to just accept it.
God tells us we are never too late, and now that you are on the right track, I believe you will continue in the same vien.
Good luck
kate
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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A suberbly written story. Real or just a dream. When you arrive at a peaceful place it is good to just accept it.
God tells us we are never too late, and now that you are on the right track, I believe you will continue in the same vien.
Good luck
kate
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you
Comment from misscookie
Gin God should be a captial in youyr story... god(G) a ery thick and a captial G in god in your author notes.
Other then that I found your story funny and interesting.
thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Gin God should be a captial in youyr story... god(G) a ery thick and a captial G in god in your author notes.
Other then that I found your story funny and interesting.
thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you
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My pleasure.
Comment from inkedone
That's a crazy dream (or reality). I, for one, am not sure what I believe when it comes to God. I think everyone should have something to believe in and hold on to. I'm just not sure what that something is for me.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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That's a crazy dream (or reality). I, for one, am not sure what I believe when it comes to God. I think everyone should have something to believe in and hold on to. I'm just not sure what that something is for me.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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it's the same for everybody. go to jesus have him except you for who you are and ask forgiveness for short comings. Some may say that your life style may effect your ability to practice it but maybe god will forgive you and save you anyway.
Comment from ScarletClearwater
This was a good piece about your journey to heaven. I liked the descriptions you used for creating imagery. I felt like I was in there with you. Nice work.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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This was a good piece about your journey to heaven. I liked the descriptions you used for creating imagery. I felt like I was in there with you. Nice work.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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thank you
Comment from Jonesy
Interesting and personal writing. I can see the appeal this has and not just to religious people.
There are quite a few mistakes though, but better editing would solve that (please see below).
Also, the author should consider adding more detail and description. I understand it's non-fiction but still important to engage the reader. What I mean is I couldn't picture Heaven, at all really, because of the lack of detail describing it. That extends to the beings in Heaven , too. There's no detail or description about the Saints and Apostles near the end.
***Going to church on Sundays ... ***
Sentence fragment
***I said out loud,"I know the only way to get to the father is through Jesus and Jesus I need to see him." ***
Couple things:
- Spacing at "loud,"I know ..." (and a space is needed in other places, too)
- Shouldn't "father" be capped?
- Consider a comma after the first "Jesus"
***who was sitting in his throne***
Pretty hard to sit "in" an throne, so should be "on"
***Someone came in and handed god***
"God"
***He was saying yes it's good***
Should probably quote what God's saying
***few people that were in heaven.***
Given the rest of the writing, "heaven" should be capped
***I remember eating and eating delicious foods***
Remove "eating and"
***what was said for that manner.***
"matter"
***happen"""
The last paragraph has three versions of this word and it's noticeable
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Interesting and personal writing. I can see the appeal this has and not just to religious people.
There are quite a few mistakes though, but better editing would solve that (please see below).
Also, the author should consider adding more detail and description. I understand it's non-fiction but still important to engage the reader. What I mean is I couldn't picture Heaven, at all really, because of the lack of detail describing it. That extends to the beings in Heaven , too. There's no detail or description about the Saints and Apostles near the end.
***Going to church on Sundays ... ***
Sentence fragment
***I said out loud,"I know the only way to get to the father is through Jesus and Jesus I need to see him." ***
Couple things:
- Spacing at "loud,"I know ..." (and a space is needed in other places, too)
- Shouldn't "father" be capped?
- Consider a comma after the first "Jesus"
***who was sitting in his throne***
Pretty hard to sit "in" an throne, so should be "on"
***Someone came in and handed god***
"God"
***He was saying yes it's good***
Should probably quote what God's saying
***few people that were in heaven.***
Given the rest of the writing, "heaven" should be capped
***I remember eating and eating delicious foods***
Remove "eating and"
***what was said for that manner.***
"matter"
***happen"""
The last paragraph has three versions of this word and it's noticeable
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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thanks for the corrections and the review ill consider them greatly.
