Money, Money, Who's Got the Money?
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "MONEY: Conclusion"Two bank robbers hide in a women's boarding house.
13 total reviews
Comment from tinams
This is the first part of your screen play I have read or reviewed. But you brought the characters to life so well I was able to thoroughly enjoy the end of your script. I thought it was really funny :) Tina
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2012
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This is the first part of your screen play I have read or reviewed. But you brought the characters to life so well I was able to thoroughly enjoy the end of your script. I thought it was really funny :) Tina
Comment Written 21-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2012
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Coming in the end and still able to review what's important in script writing. Good for you. Thanks for the wonderful comments and ranking.
Comment from purrfect tale
I'm going to miss this story. You really surprised me! I would never have thought that Frieda and Mickey would end up getting married. It was an entertaining joy-ride that kept me chuckling and grinning all the way through.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
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I'm going to miss this story. You really surprised me! I would never have thought that Frieda and Mickey would end up getting married. It was an entertaining joy-ride that kept me chuckling and grinning all the way through.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
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Thanks, purrfect. If I find professional interest in this, I might write a sequel and include Trixie. To say I surprised is a great compliment, since you were quick to catch on to the other twists.
Comment from Adam J Santos
Shari, I missed a few chapters in there... A friend of almost fifteen years recently committed suicide and I've been looking for a job... I thought the idea of spending the money on a cruise and clothes to help the economy... Was a witty and creative way to make it seem like the okay thing to do... The idea of Mickey and Frieda getting married took me by surprise as well. A good surprise though... So it turns out Frieda was a cougar when she took her glasses off and let her hair down. i felt it was a great conclusion to a humourous stage play full of crazy characters. Well done... Take care Adam:)
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
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Shari, I missed a few chapters in there... A friend of almost fifteen years recently committed suicide and I've been looking for a job... I thought the idea of spending the money on a cruise and clothes to help the economy... Was a witty and creative way to make it seem like the okay thing to do... The idea of Mickey and Frieda getting married took me by surprise as well. A good surprise though... So it turns out Frieda was a cougar when she took her glasses off and let her hair down. i felt it was a great conclusion to a humourous stage play full of crazy characters. Well done... Take care Adam:)
Comment Written 20-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
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I'm so sorry about your friend. It must be awful to see no way out but death. Anyway, thanks for reading the ending. I like your synopsis and glad you saw the cougar in Frieda. Good luck in finding a job. Must be a place that needs waiters or bartenders?
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Shari
A lively humorous conclusion to your play.
Reminded me a little of the end of Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Ernest with all the marriage sorting out.
One suggestion for a laugh. Have two of them agree to get hitched on the boat. Then the girl reveals she's actually a guy in drag.
Be interesting to see your next play.
Ron xx
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
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Hi Shari
A lively humorous conclusion to your play.
Reminded me a little of the end of Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Ernest with all the marriage sorting out.
One suggestion for a laugh. Have two of them agree to get hitched on the boat. Then the girl reveals she's actually a guy in drag.
Be interesting to see your next play.
Ron xx
Comment Written 20-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
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Do you realize that every time you review my play you want to add something new? LOL. Not doing plays for a while. Sticking to poems and flash fiction. I concede the race.
Comment from barkingdog
LOL Well, they got away with it and are going on a cruise. I guess Frieda is a cougar if she is matched with Mickey. That explains the tension long ago in the classroom.
Crazy ending, Shari as they bury the body and escape to a new future for them all.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
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LOL Well, they got away with it and are going on a cruise. I guess Frieda is a cougar if she is matched with Mickey. That explains the tension long ago in the classroom.
Crazy ending, Shari as they bury the body and escape to a new future for them all.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
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A comedy has a have a happy ending. Everyone so far has enjoyed that they get away. And unfortunately, that happens in real life.
Glad that wasn't the case for you.
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I'm glad that they got away, too. It was a fun ending. Sorry if you misunderstood the review.
Comment from joann r romei
I'm glad you explained that, and I see how this works now, I'm so sorry to have it end and i want to read it from the beginning, i think its amazing, funny and witty, Good luck with it
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
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I'm glad you explained that, and I see how this works now, I'm so sorry to have it end and i want to read it from the beginning, i think its amazing, funny and witty, Good luck with it
Comment Written 19-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
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Thanks, joann. I was reviewing my notes from professionals and found that tidbit to pass on.
Comment from adewpearl
Love the rationalization that their escaping with the money by going on a cruise and shopping for clothes for the cruise is actually a patriotic act of helping the economy LOL
Love the final arguments about all the arrangements LOL Brooke
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
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Love the rationalization that their escaping with the money by going on a cruise and shopping for clothes for the cruise is actually a patriotic act of helping the economy LOL
Love the final arguments about all the arrangements LOL Brooke
Comment Written 19-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
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Thanks, Brooke. The ending seems to be clicking with reviewers so far. I was concerned about letting crime pay, but a professional critique said "Everybody hates banks, It's okay." LOL
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It is obviously such a broad comedy that nobody is going to take this as a serious condoning of crime. :-) And yeah, the bank thing helps too. LOL
Comment from ScarletClearwater
Kudos to you for finishing this piece! Amazing job! I like the back and forth about what the characters will do for money. You did an excellent job with this script. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
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Kudos to you for finishing this piece! Amazing job! I like the back and forth about what the characters will do for money. You did an excellent job with this script. Best wishes.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
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Thanks, Scarlet. Now, if I can just win a production. Have to get busy and look for more contests outside this site.
Comment from Earl of Oxford
Hi, Shari.
Chrystal - "destiny" LOL
Freida's logic in 'helping the economy'. haha
Looney's usual nutty comments and actions.
'A knock at the door. Everyone freezes. More laughs as action switches from the crazy dialogue, and hilarious frantic action amongst the nutters.
A terrific ending to a thoroughly entertaining and extremely professional write, Shari.
Surely you intend promoting this to publishers (or whoever one promotes stage plays to).
Congratulations and thanks for all the laughs.
Best wishes, earl
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
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Hi, Shari.
Chrystal - "destiny" LOL
Freida's logic in 'helping the economy'. haha
Looney's usual nutty comments and actions.
'A knock at the door. Everyone freezes. More laughs as action switches from the crazy dialogue, and hilarious frantic action amongst the nutters.
A terrific ending to a thoroughly entertaining and extremely professional write, Shari.
Surely you intend promoting this to publishers (or whoever one promotes stage plays to).
Congratulations and thanks for all the laughs.
Best wishes, earl
Comment Written 19-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
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Thanks, my love, for the sixer. So glad the ending worked for you. Yes, I am going to work to promote it. The first draft was performed two years ago. Judge comments helped me rework it and make it better. Now, I have to make a theater to do the new version. Hard in these times. Everyone want to stick to Neil Simon or a known writer who will bring in the bacon.
Comment from ameen786
My dear friend Spitfire, you are a riot! You saved the best for the last; my goodness, again, I have to explain to wife why I am laughing so loud; amazing how you brought the story to such beautiful ending; you are a genius! The way you paired them loonies so perfect! I feel so bad for not having a six, this is above and beyond...extraordinary! I thank you for the delightful/entertaining story, God bless you.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
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My dear friend Spitfire, you are a riot! You saved the best for the last; my goodness, again, I have to explain to wife why I am laughing so loud; amazing how you brought the story to such beautiful ending; you are a genius! The way you paired them loonies so perfect! I feel so bad for not having a six, this is above and beyond...extraordinary! I thank you for the delightful/entertaining story, God bless you.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2012
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Your thought of a six is just as good. I'm pleased you like the ending. Leaves room for a sequel, maybe?? Now, I have to get it out to the public. That's the hard part.
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Why not contact some local stage/theater organizations; would certainly be a great comedy show.
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I've tried. They all want the old shows that 60+ remember from the past. Florida is the land of nod!
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Keep trying my friend, you'll never know; I do have a feeling that this would make a superb, hilarious stage show, may be get some high school drama teachers to help you out.
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Tried my alma mater, but no luck. Maybe there are many schools around here. Just have to find time to promote. Not enough hours in the day.
