Poverty
Just some thoughts19 total reviews
Comment from BLACKDYKE
Great stuff justjo' and the message
is clear enough. I just found you
poem as I trailed through the site
and I shall be searching for others
of your work. 'Poverty' sends an
appeal to all for more consideration.
Eric
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2012
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Great stuff justjo' and the message
is clear enough. I just found you
poem as I trailed through the site
and I shall be searching for others
of your work. 'Poverty' sends an
appeal to all for more consideration.
Eric
Comment Written 31-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2012
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Eric, what a delightful surprise you gave me today. Thank you
for reviewing my poem. I do hope you will read and enjoy
more of my work.
Jo
Comment from Jean Lutz
You capture so much in this writing. Thoughts similar to this pained me this morning as I opened my refrigerator to decide what to fix for breakfast and wondering what had passed the expiration date. Sometimes I wonder if what I toss out for animals and birds would feed a starving family. Thank you for using your talent to bring this message to others.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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You capture so much in this writing. Thoughts similar to this pained me this morning as I opened my refrigerator to decide what to fix for breakfast and wondering what had passed the expiration date. Sometimes I wonder if what I toss out for animals and birds would feed a starving family. Thank you for using your talent to bring this message to others.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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Thank you Jean for your comments and kind review of my poem. I also have similar thoughts when I throw out food.
Comment from honeytree
The art work is very telling, no-one should be
Hungry for food and love within our world.
I guess if we were poor, lonely and no-one wanting us
"how would we feel?"
Excellent art work and the words written are so true.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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The art work is very telling, no-one should be
Hungry for food and love within our world.
I guess if we were poor, lonely and no-one wanting us
"how would we feel?"
Excellent art work and the words written are so true.
Honey tree
Comment Written 18-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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Thank you Honey tree for your comments on my poem. I appreciate your review.
Comment from misscookie
The arwork you posted tells it all.
Your poem is sad but you let the truth be told.
we don't know how blessed we are , we take all we have for granted.
Your poem touched me deeply.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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The arwork you posted tells it all.
Your poem is sad but you let the truth be told.
we don't know how blessed we are , we take all we have for granted.
Your poem touched me deeply.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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I am glad that my poem touched you. It is one I have had on my mind for awhile. Thank you for the review.
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Your very welcome.
Comment from l.raven
There is no reason for anyone in this world to be hungry. We have food. People should make sure eveyone eats. Even if that means for free. This is sad but very well written.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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There is no reason for anyone in this world to be hungry. We have food. People should make sure eveyone eats. Even if that means for free. This is sad but very well written.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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Thank you raven for your kind review of my poem. I am glad it touched you.
Comment from manicblue
A well written commentary, justjo66, with a sad but good twist of an ending. It's so hard to read poems about greed, mainly because it keeps happening no matter how we feel. It's so obvious that so many suffer from poverty, yet we keep scrambling for more and don't care to share. I grew up the hard way so am very appreciative for what I have. But some don't ever get the chance to know even a little want from need.
just this:
While poverties children = While poverty's children
Take care.
mb xx
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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A well written commentary, justjo66, with a sad but good twist of an ending. It's so hard to read poems about greed, mainly because it keeps happening no matter how we feel. It's so obvious that so many suffer from poverty, yet we keep scrambling for more and don't care to share. I grew up the hard way so am very appreciative for what I have. But some don't ever get the chance to know even a little want from need.
just this:
While poverties children = While poverty's children
Take care.
mb xx
Comment Written 17-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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Thank you mb for your kind comments and the SPAG help. I thought it should be written poverty's but then wasn't sure. Thanks I changed it.
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i cheated to make sure. :) if you have Google search, you can type a word, but don't hit "search" or "return" and it will show you the correct spelling. then just backspace to erase the search word and you'll be back on the FS page. take care. :)
mb xx
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Thanks for the google tip. I'll be using that a lot. LOL
Comment from ameen786
Hello Justjo, my friend, I thank you for sharing this brilliant composition reflecting upon mankind's greed as well as lack of compassion; hard-hitting comparison between the needy and the spoiled; the repetition of 'crying for more more' adds to the theme.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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Hello Justjo, my friend, I thank you for sharing this brilliant composition reflecting upon mankind's greed as well as lack of compassion; hard-hitting comparison between the needy and the spoiled; the repetition of 'crying for more more' adds to the theme.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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Yes, there is a wide ocean between greed and need. Thank you for your kind review of my poem.
Comment from Tawnyowl
This is very good as it points to the fact just who is crying for more, more, is it the poor and needy or more likely is it the rich who just can't get enough. You have done well in this poem delineating your point, there is so much consumerist waste, we ask ourselves where will it all end?
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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This is very good as it points to the fact just who is crying for more, more, is it the poor and needy or more likely is it the rich who just can't get enough. You have done well in this poem delineating your point, there is so much consumerist waste, we ask ourselves where will it all end?
Comment Written 17-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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Thank you for your comments and kind review of my work.
Comment from Val Crisson
Hi Jo,
I'm giving you a five on this, because I think this message is very important. But I have two suggestions:
1. I think the line "crying for more,more" should read, "crying for more, more, more" I think this stresses the point, and in my humble opinion flows a little better.
2. The word frolicking to me seems a little frivolous considering the nature of the poem. Maybe throwing the day aside? Otherwise, I really like this and its truth. Hugs
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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Hi Jo,
I'm giving you a five on this, because I think this message is very important. But I have two suggestions:
1. I think the line "crying for more,more" should read, "crying for more, more, more" I think this stresses the point, and in my humble opinion flows a little better.
2. The word frolicking to me seems a little frivolous considering the nature of the poem. Maybe throwing the day aside? Otherwise, I really like this and its truth. Hugs
Comment Written 17-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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Thanks Val for your suggestions. I also thought about adding another more to the phrase but thought it would be too much. I might still go back and add it. I think I'll think about changing the frolicking since my intent was to show playfullness in the daytime of the chilren of greed without ever thinking about the real needy. I'm open to another word that would show the same intent? :o)
Comment from Starlit Ink
This poem makes one think and is nicely worded to show the injustice of poverty. Those who are spoiled just seem to cry for more, and it's pretty sad.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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This poem makes one think and is nicely worded to show the injustice of poverty. Those who are spoiled just seem to cry for more, and it's pretty sad.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2012
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Greed vs Need an old story. Yes it is sad. Thank you for reviewing my poem.
