Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Murphy's Bar"A collection of my poems
50 total reviews
Comment from ennahanid
I truly think that you rose to this Husband and Wife Talking challenge exceedingly well. This is such a jolly good romp you gave hear with tongue in cheek and I am sitting here with a really stupid grin on my face.
Thank you for the grin...I think
Laughing still
Dinah
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
  |
I truly think that you rose to this Husband and Wife Talking challenge exceedingly well. This is such a jolly good romp you gave hear with tongue in cheek and I am sitting here with a really stupid grin on my face.
Thank you for the grin...I think
Laughing still
Dinah
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
-
Thank you Dinah - now I see where your FS name comes from...
Glad you enjoyed my foolish romp.
Comment from cvcopac
I have my suspicions as to the author. I damn near pee'ed my pants reliving the fond memories of yesteryear this dialogue in verse remembered. Excellent and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
|
I have my suspicions as to the author. I damn near pee'ed my pants reliving the fond memories of yesteryear this dialogue in verse remembered. Excellent and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
-
I have my doubts about your suspicions, especially since you joined just before I took an enforced layoff, but perhaps I underestimate you - this certainly has my style written all over it if you are familiar with my other poems...
if you remember dialogue like this, you are probably oft-wed!
Thanks.
-
Intuition is a marvelous gift and it's always fun to bet a hunch.
-
Congrats. I knew it was you--I'd a won a bundle! Nobody else on this site can tell whoppers like you.
Comment from Doc Holiday
Love the dialogue here, going from sweet to sassy to bitter to hatred. You may have lost me with the last line though...She said she was going to Murphy's and that's where her husband was...
Really a fun write!
Good luck in the contest...
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
|
Love the dialogue here, going from sweet to sassy to bitter to hatred. You may have lost me with the last line though...She said she was going to Murphy's and that's where her husband was...
Really a fun write!
Good luck in the contest...
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
-
No, he was only planning to go when the fight erupted...
Thanks for the review - glad you enjoyed...
Comment from RebelRose
This is good. Most couple do not speak in such fancy rhyme but you did keep within the confines of the contest rules. I guess she fixed him, alright, didn't she?
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
|
This is good. Most couple do not speak in such fancy rhyme but you did keep within the confines of the contest rules. I guess she fixed him, alright, didn't she?
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
-
Thanks for the positive review.
Comment from djsaxon
Absolutely hilarious! The piece has a lovely, bawdy, Shakespearian feel to it that is totally mesmerising. Great set up, great build, and great denouement. Top shelf stuff. Cheers - DJ
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
 |
Absolutely hilarious! The piece has a lovely, bawdy, Shakespearian feel to it that is totally mesmerising. Great set up, great build, and great denouement. Top shelf stuff. Cheers - DJ
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
-
What an enthusiastic review - thank you, and for the six stars.
Comment from Crackerberries
This was a very funny read and almost sing song through the whole thing. I love all of those creative words you used... harridan, vicious hag, cuckold...gormless clod too funny. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
|
This was a very funny read and almost sing song through the whole thing. I love all of those creative words you used... harridan, vicious hag, cuckold...gormless clod too funny. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for your kind words - glad you enjoyed.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
]you sleazy, faithless harlot. << LOL! Love how this builds and builds to this point! Vey well constructed poem! Good luck in the contest. :)
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
|
]you sleazy, faithless harlot. << LOL! Love how this builds and builds to this point! Vey well constructed poem! Good luck in the contest. :)
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
-
...and thank you for organizing the contest. I had fun with this one as you can tell. I liked the misdirection in your poem - we may be battling it out for the prize here...
-
I think you are right! Yours is superb... definitely the one I would vote for if I hadn't entered...LOL! Hope you do win. Not nice to win your own, after all. :)
Comment from Sherry Asbury
This is really well done. Your different colors for the voices is a great idea. There is a great deal of humor here - you have a subtle sense of fun that spices up the poem. I really love it and read it several times. Great work here.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
|
This is really well done. Your different colors for the voices is a great idea. There is a great deal of humor here - you have a subtle sense of fun that spices up the poem. I really love it and read it several times. Great work here.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
-
Thank you, Sherry. Glad you enjoyed my little romp.
Comment from rjuselius
hahaha. i love the way that the poem starts with a high note and praise and ends in jealousy and infidelity. sounds like the poem has some authority.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
|
hahaha. i love the way that the poem starts with a high note and praise and ends in jealousy and infidelity. sounds like the poem has some authority.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
-
Thank you, Rebekka. yes, that idea was the seed for this poem, but no, luckily my own marriage is not at all like this.
Comment from Carole Rosa
To the author of Murphy's Bar, This piece is hilarious, You need to submit this poem to Reader's Digest. The whole thing was just too funny for words!! The two sentences below were special.
As I recall, the whole affair took less than one brief minute.
He's twice the man you ever were; I don't mean just his feet!
Fabulous! Carole
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
|
To the author of Murphy's Bar, This piece is hilarious, You need to submit this poem to Reader's Digest. The whole thing was just too funny for words!! The two sentences below were special.
As I recall, the whole affair took less than one brief minute.
He's twice the man you ever were; I don't mean just his feet!
Fabulous! Carole
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2012
-
Thank you, Carole. This was the first review in, so great that it was an enthusiastic one, and six stars no less.
