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The English Assignment

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The English Assignment takes off."
The author tells a tale how he tried to better him

4 total reviews 
Comment from gazzagodbod
Excellent
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I guess ive not started at the front but i read this piece before i realized and hey its really good thanks my friend will read some more gazza

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 23-Apr-2012
    thanks Gazza
Comment from abbasjoy
Excellent
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This is a very touching story and pretty sad when you think of a 3 year old not having his mom around to share such a special time with him. It however, leaves the reader with a bit of hope that perhaps this little child will get his Christmas wish, if not immediately in the not too distant future.
This is well written and just one small correction required in the Second paragraph - Should be ( wait in line) instead of on line. Good Job.

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2012
    correction made and thanks for reading.
reply by abbasjoy on 21-Apr-2012
    Thanks for letting me know.
Comment from robyn corum
Good
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You have a talent for writing. But it looks like you write quickly and do not spend time editing your work when you are done. Take the time to slow down and go over your work well before you post it. I saw a great deal of repeated words and some minor punctuation flaws. ]

You also switched subjects from talking about your family (mother-potential) to talking about your grandmother. It doesn't work in such a short piece as this to switch - it looks like you're chasing rabbits.

Writing a paper I knew know one -> no one

Hope this helps.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2012
    well I re wrote the whole piece. i hope you like it better I do.
Comment from Flamingbush
Good
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You have quite an interesting story here. What a stunt putting fake vampire blood on Jason and leaving him on the side of the road! It sure sounds dangerous. I'd like to know more about what happened with the angry mob.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2012


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2012
    thank you.