senryu (dope addict scored well)
Something to Mull Over ...26 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
I'm laughing at your play on words with pot plants and potted plants. :-)
Back in 1970 when I was 19 and first married, my husband had some of those plants under black lights in our bedroom. LOL
Love the idea of an addict having a housewarming at all :-) A clever senryu. Brooke
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2012
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I'm laughing at your play on words with pot plants and potted plants. :-)
Back in 1970 when I was 19 and first married, my husband had some of those plants under black lights in our bedroom. LOL
Love the idea of an addict having a housewarming at all :-) A clever senryu. Brooke
Comment Written 30-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2012
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Haha, adventurous...? Yes. LOL Thanks and I have had this green one stashed for a bit. Glad I could finally bring it out to share and I am chuffed with your response.
I was thinking about exchanging "addict" for "smoker" as someone so kindly informed me an addict was referring to harder drugs.
Not where I come from and not where I googled either so it stays.
I just made mention in the notes...but anyway thanks a bundle.
Cheers Phillippa xoxo
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yeah, around here I've never really heard of pot smokers referred to as drug addicts either - another one of those regional differences :-)
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Hmmmmm.
You have me in half a mind now.
Do you think "dope smoker" is as good? Duh! That's a stupid question.
I'm running off to change.
Thanks sweety pie.
x
Comment from steevie
Clever play on words, C/P/J.
It has all the elements of a true senryu. The emotion that is called for is happiness and this poem gives way to the new home-dweller receiving their gifts.
super write
steve
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Clever play on words, C/P/J.
It has all the elements of a true senryu. The emotion that is called for is happiness and this poem gives way to the new home-dweller receiving their gifts.
super write
steve
Comment Written 20-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Many thanks Steevie, glad you liked.
Cheers closet xo
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you're so welcome :0)
steve
Comment from Warren Rodgers
CPJ, Clever as always my friend. I admit right now I'm a real dope when it comes to the short Japanese forms so I have no advice to offer you. But I love the play on words and the photo is an excellent choice. I guess this guy has no friends in law enforcement lol.
Cheers!
Waaaazzzaa
xoxo
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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CPJ, Clever as always my friend. I admit right now I'm a real dope when it comes to the short Japanese forms so I have no advice to offer you. But I love the play on words and the photo is an excellent choice. I guess this guy has no friends in law enforcement lol.
Cheers!
Waaaazzzaa
xoxo
Comment Written 19-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Haha thanks Wazza and no not a bent cop in sight! LOL
Thanks for your beaut review my friend.
Sorry to keep it short but brevity is the order of the day if I ever want to catch up.
Cheers CPJ
xoxo
Comment from Connie C
Yes, this is a great play on words with "most guests gave pot plants."
I'd say this dope addict did indeed score well if those are the kind
of plants he/she received. Great picture to accompany this and best
of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Yes, this is a great play on words with "most guests gave pot plants."
I'd say this dope addict did indeed score well if those are the kind
of plants he/she received. Great picture to accompany this and best
of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Haha thanks my friend - apparently one person informed me "addict" usually referred to heavy drug users and not cannibis. However this WAS only a reference to the good old dope smoker. All in fun anyways. Glad to have you review this weedy write.
Yes, the guy sure scored well...haha
Cheers Phillippa xoxoxo
Comment from sgalletti
I DO like the play on words and love St. Patrick's Day. Took NO offense to your play on pot. However, I wanted to see two grammatically connected lines and they were missing. Consequently the poem reads in a disconnected way, which you might consider avoiding when writing future senryu. Best of luck in the contest. Sue
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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I DO like the play on words and love St. Patrick's Day. Took NO offense to your play on pot. However, I wanted to see two grammatically connected lines and they were missing. Consequently the poem reads in a disconnected way, which you might consider avoiding when writing future senryu. Best of luck in the contest. Sue
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Hey thanks Sue. I appreciate what your saying and I not only like to have the interconnecting lines read in one, but I like to be able to read them all seperate too. Sometimes I don't altogether pull it off. I had about three versions of this so maybe I should have looked at one of the slightly smoother alternatives. I truly thank you for your input and will definitely clock this one up to experience for next senryu challenge. Have a great day and thanks a bundle.
Cheers
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Uhhhh hmmmmm hey little sister that is a whole lot of explaining in the author's notes for three lines of poetry...lmao. Personally I loved it with or without the explanations. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Uhhhh hmmmmm hey little sister that is a whole lot of explaining in the author's notes for three lines of poetry...lmao. Personally I loved it with or without the explanations. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Well this dope did have a bit of explaining to do...aren't you only allowed to have one legal? LMAO...
Not cops please! LOL
Cheers and thanks for your input. Yes, authors notes say way too much...you know me...why say 5 words when you can say 20? LMAO
Cheers p
xoxo
Comment from Hitcher
A nice bit of tongue and cheek friend, did I tell you I lived in Holland for six years? You were legally allowed three of those house warming gifts on your property, for personal use of course, it was a crazy country, I picked up the language, YEA! That was fun and you know what they say; When in Rome :) Good Luck!
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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A nice bit of tongue and cheek friend, did I tell you I lived in Holland for six years? You were legally allowed three of those house warming gifts on your property, for personal use of course, it was a crazy country, I picked up the language, YEA! That was fun and you know what they say; When in Rome :) Good Luck!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Haha really? Three house gifts? You'd have to be chuffed with that! LMAO its only one over here...haha - Grass is always greener LMAO You sound very well travelled mister. Nice to know and thanks for your thoughtful comments and review. I'm stoked.
Cheers Closet xo
Closet xo
Comment from Galactia
great little senryu not sure about middle line i think it could be changed and enhanced better.
(hit pay dirt) with housewarming
pay dirt..hmmm
but it is a perfect 5'7'5 and totally love other 2 lines. i wish you luck in the contest.
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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great little senryu not sure about middle line i think it could be changed and enhanced better.
(hit pay dirt) with housewarming
pay dirt..hmmm
but it is a perfect 5'7'5 and totally love other 2 lines. i wish you luck in the contest.
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much, yes this is a bit choppy but the "pay dirt" was a sitter I thought...haha
Thanks so much.
Cheers closet
Comment from JuneYvonne
Just a beaut play on words - exactly, and I love it. You're right that pot plants are a common housewarming gift, but not usually that variety! Where did you find the perfect picture to illustrate it - brilliant! Good luck in the contest - this is funny and should do well.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Just a beaut play on words - exactly, and I love it. You're right that pot plants are a common housewarming gift, but not usually that variety! Where did you find the perfect picture to illustrate it - brilliant! Good luck in the contest - this is funny and should do well.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much and I googled this baby up...the pic I mean. LOL
The words are mine. Haha
Cheers and thanks for liking my potty poem.
Closet
Comment from cephira
I liked your play on words! It was a fun read! The senryu is a hard one for me, but you seem to have pulled it off. A nice "tongue in cheek" entry! Best wishes in the contest!
Cephira
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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I liked your play on words! It was a fun read! The senryu is a hard one for me, but you seem to have pulled it off. A nice "tongue in cheek" entry! Best wishes in the contest!
Cephira
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much. Most appreciate your review.
Closet
PS What a beautiful name you have.
