Reviews from

The Heir Apparent

Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "James Asks Mac for Help"
A family learns their father is a serial killer

20 total reviews 
Comment from Alaskastory
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

'James Asks Mac for Help' is a good chapter. You show James taking charge of the family well and his determination makes for more to come.

may need an 's': 'Where were they camped when their daughter(s) went missing?

may want to delete 'was': My head {was} reeled trying to imagine where to start.


 Comment Written 20-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
    Thanks for cathing the spags. I am so pleased you still like this.
Comment from hyway94
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Boy, here we go again. James is going to find them and then what? Question, is his grandfather still alive or did he's father kill him too. So it's on to the next one.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
    I just posted chapter 36.
Comment from Cranial Thinker
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is so good and you write so extremely vividly that absorbing your words are like going to the movies,only the
picture flashes on the frontal lobe of ones mind still crystal clear and full of actions of emotions,drama,intrigue
and most assuredly suspense....I truly wish I could give you endless six's because you are so deserving my friend....Cranial Thinker

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
    Thank hyou so very much. I truly appreciate your comments.
Comment from Deejharrington
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

James has had a huge responsibility forced on him, the man of the family. No one else is capable of making any decisions, but him. I can understand why he can't walk away until all victims are accounted for. James can't go on with his life until he knows what happened all those years ago.
deb

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
    The need to know is a powerful thing.
reply by Deejharrington on 18-Mar-2012
    it certainly is a driving force.
    deb
Comment from Showboat
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hey Sasha

Very good continuation to the previous chapter.

I feel sorry for this whole family, and James might as well tell them about Marie because they're going to find out about it soon enough. Better him than the news.

I'm off for more!

Hugs,
Gayle

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
    Finding out from him is so much better than seeing it on television.
Comment from InterestingRon
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Smurphy
I'm playing catch up. You are writing these chapters faster than I can read and review them!
Twelve life sentences - pity he can only serve one.
I think we need to watch Mac.
Ron

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
    That truly is the pity. Life in prison is no picnic but for what he did it seem just a slap on the hands.
Comment from missy98writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sasha,
Chapter thirty-three is smartly written and shows how the evil acts of a family member effects the entire family unit, but it also destroys the victims families just as bad. Murder is the cruelest thing mankind can do to another. Serial killers and those ruthless men and women killing spouses and significant others are heinous beings- they no longer deserve the classification of human. I'd recommend your latest chapter to other reviewers as a must read. I encourage you to keep moving forward with your awesome crime story fiction. Peace out...Melissa.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
    Thanks. I am so happy you liked this one.
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Twelve life terms--could not have happened to a more evil guy! I liked Hurley's and Uncle Terry's trying to be supportive but understood James' reaction as well--there are no winners in this situation. The sound of the phone startled me too--good device for suspense and transition. -Joan

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
    You are right, there really are no winners in this situation.
Comment from emmaysavage
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very important chapter. The Need T0 Know that dominates James' personality is very apparent. I am glad he's getting help.

i think the courtroom scene quite moving. Why does James always expedt rejection? Because of his own anger? He gets a lot of support when he makes his need clear.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
    He may be a genies but he is still a boy and doesn't have a lot of self assurance. I am pleased you liked this one,
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I can understand James not
wanting to leave it - having
the need to find out where
these missing people are...

filling me with dread.
filled me with dread.

taken in Bellingham[?](.") - I took this to be dialogue and not a question.

Mac shook is head. "You're - move this down a line.
across from them(,) impatiently

babies buried?

How can I possibly - close these two lines up.

Margaret

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
    Thanks for catching the spag. I am pleased you liked this one.