Dry Season
Two lives connected in time (see notes first)33 total reviews
Comment from peggles
This is a long story
but well worth the time to read
I have not been disappointed
my knowledge of the Vietnam war is very little
but your notes were useful
The characters are realistic and interesting
A thought provoking well written story
The ending was a surprise but just perfect
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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This is a long story
but well worth the time to read
I have not been disappointed
my knowledge of the Vietnam war is very little
but your notes were useful
The characters are realistic and interesting
A thought provoking well written story
The ending was a surprise but just perfect
Comment Written 09-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Thanks Peggles - it was long, so I appreciate you staying with it. When posted as two separate stories, I felt that I lost a very important connectivity. Regards, Bill
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi bhogg,
Funny, I always loathed that line from the movie, it was so 'gung-ho' and trite and covered the ghastly nature of the use of it.
I enjoyed this story, it is well up to your usual standard and joining up the two halves is absolutely right. The ending was a surprise, but it was also just perfect.
Patrick
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Hi bhogg,
Funny, I always loathed that line from the movie, it was so 'gung-ho' and trite and covered the ghastly nature of the use of it.
I enjoyed this story, it is well up to your usual standard and joining up the two halves is absolutely right. The ending was a surprise, but it was also just perfect.
Patrick
Comment Written 09-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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Thanks Patrick - I appreciate you staying with it. A long post for FS. I'm trying to sell this story, so did want to combine and get feedback. Regards, Bill
Comment from cvcopac
I read your notes and my opinion is--you succeeded. Reads like it could be a true story. I love the moral ending. Your writing skills are excellent. This is the second story of yours that I have reviewed and again, I didn't find any spag.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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I read your notes and my opinion is--you succeeded. Reads like it could be a true story. I love the moral ending. Your writing skills are excellent. This is the second story of yours that I have reviewed and again, I didn't find any spag.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Thanks for reading and the kind feedback. I appreciate both. Bill
Comment from JW
This is a long story that what I would normally read on FS, however, in seeing who wrote it - I felt I would not be disappointed.
Needless to say, I was right. This is truly an excellent story. With the switching of perspectives, a reader can really get the complete picture.
Great job!
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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This is a long story that what I would normally read on FS, however, in seeing who wrote it - I felt I would not be disappointed.
Needless to say, I was right. This is truly an excellent story. With the switching of perspectives, a reader can really get the complete picture.
Great job!
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Thanks Jonathon - it is too long for FS. Originally written as two posts, but I was unable to get my point across. Thanks for reading, staying with it and the wonderful compliment of a six. Regards, Bill
Comment from highlander104
I like this rewrite. While I enjoyed the first two stories, this one appeared to have more impact. The last two paragraphs brought a tear and a chill.
People are people, pawns of their respective governments.
Jean K.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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I like this rewrite. While I enjoyed the first two stories, this one appeared to have more impact. The last two paragraphs brought a tear and a chill.
People are people, pawns of their respective governments.
Jean K.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much Jean! I liked the first two stories, but didn't think I really told the story the way I wanted. I'm going to massage some more and heaven forbid, try to sell it! Always warm regards, Bill
Comment from RazberryBullet
Urgh!...your daddy was a Master Feces Burner.
Got a chuckle here: I'm serving my country by spreading toasted turds around the soil of a foreign country. ;p
Liked this image: One described the rain as being so hard that when you were in it, you would swear that it rained up from the ground as well as down from the sky. :)
suggestions: The truck slowed and pulled (up) next to a burnt(-)out church...two separate groups to their flanks(,) place some mortar rounds to the center(,)and attack the flanks...It almost created a mist(-)like condition
Lovely surprise ending!
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Urgh!...your daddy was a Master Feces Burner.
Got a chuckle here: I'm serving my country by spreading toasted turds around the soil of a foreign country. ;p
Liked this image: One described the rain as being so hard that when you were in it, you would swear that it rained up from the ground as well as down from the sky. :)
suggestions: The truck slowed and pulled (up) next to a burnt(-)out church...two separate groups to their flanks(,) place some mortar rounds to the center(,)and attack the flanks...It almost created a mist(-)like condition
Lovely surprise ending!
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Thanks for reading RB and for taking the time to help! You're the best. Warm regards, Bill
Comment from animatqua
I like this verson. Putting the two segments together allowed me to move immediately from Eddie's POV to Tran's. I think this has a powerful impact on the reader: How the soldiers are more the same than different.
This is not an original theme, of course; but you did an excellent job on it. There was no heavy handed moralizing, just a simple day in the life of each of them.
I always like your work. This example is why.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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I like this verson. Putting the two segments together allowed me to move immediately from Eddie's POV to Tran's. I think this has a powerful impact on the reader: How the soldiers are more the same than different.
This is not an original theme, of course; but you did an excellent job on it. There was no heavy handed moralizing, just a simple day in the life of each of them.
I always like your work. This example is why.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Thanks for the kind review and the blessing of the six. Always warm regards, Bill
Comment from Sally Carter
A very clever story, Bill, and I liked very much the way you changed times and linked up the characters in their parallel experiences.
I confess that my knowledge of the Vietnam war is shamefully scant and war stories do not immediately engage me, but this tale did keep me reading all the way through, which is a huge compliment to your writing.
Some very humorous moments, and I actually "enjoyed" the latrine bits, which I could relate to more than manoeuvres and equipment. A great nickname as well!
I am sorry that this is not my greatest review, but hope you will forgive me. It's such a thorough telling that it deserves better - but at least my comments garner you some more votes for the rankings! Will try to do better next time.. LOL
My best wishes to you
Sally
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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A very clever story, Bill, and I liked very much the way you changed times and linked up the characters in their parallel experiences.
I confess that my knowledge of the Vietnam war is shamefully scant and war stories do not immediately engage me, but this tale did keep me reading all the way through, which is a huge compliment to your writing.
Some very humorous moments, and I actually "enjoyed" the latrine bits, which I could relate to more than manoeuvres and equipment. A great nickname as well!
I am sorry that this is not my greatest review, but hope you will forgive me. It's such a thorough telling that it deserves better - but at least my comments garner you some more votes for the rankings! Will try to do better next time.. LOL
My best wishes to you
Sally
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Hi Sal - I knew going in that I was picking a genre that doesn't hit with some people. I do appreciate you reading and your always kind words. Bill
Comment from Gideon Roth
Good Morning, Bill. I am returning from a long absence and was delighted to see so many of my favorite writers still turning out great stuff. You did a marvelous job on meeting your objectives of combining two former stories into one great achievement. I remember elements of them while reading this one. Sure wish I hade a six star for you on this one. It is captivation, great emotion throughout and made me want to read more at the end. Keep up the great work and I look forward to catching your next submission. I am doing some major work on a previous submission of mine and thinking of reposting it as well before submitting my next new story. Have a great day of writing...Tim
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Good Morning, Bill. I am returning from a long absence and was delighted to see so many of my favorite writers still turning out great stuff. You did a marvelous job on meeting your objectives of combining two former stories into one great achievement. I remember elements of them while reading this one. Sure wish I hade a six star for you on this one. It is captivation, great emotion throughout and made me want to read more at the end. Keep up the great work and I look forward to catching your next submission. I am doing some major work on a previous submission of mine and thinking of reposting it as well before submitting my next new story. Have a great day of writing...Tim
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Thanks for reading and your kind feedback. Please let me know when you re-post. Regards, Bill
Comment from RebelRose
I like the way you inter-connected the two. This was an enjoyable read although I will admit to having a frown on my face while reading about the latrine duty (something about the war I never thought much about) which turned into an out loud laugh with the term 'toasted turds'. I have Vietnamese neighbors by the surname of Tran. Very good story, my friend.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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I like the way you inter-connected the two. This was an enjoyable read although I will admit to having a frown on my face while reading about the latrine duty (something about the war I never thought much about) which turned into an out loud laugh with the term 'toasted turds'. I have Vietnamese neighbors by the surname of Tran. Very good story, my friend.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Thanks for reading Patty. I wanted the irony connection with the latrines. Trust me, not something I'm fixated on. Always warm regards, Bill
