Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "part 1 Chapter 17"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
83 total reviews
Comment from hellion5
Another great chapter! Your dialogue is excellent and has just enough narrative sprinkled in. I was curious as to why Anna cried when seeing Slim's picture, but I assume you'll pick up with that when the chapter continues. If not, maybe a word or two here would help--
Great work--
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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Another great chapter! Your dialogue is excellent and has just enough narrative sprinkled in. I was curious as to why Anna cried when seeing Slim's picture, but I assume you'll pick up with that when the chapter continues. If not, maybe a word or two here would help--
Great work--
Comment Written 28-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from tango494
I have not been able to do a lot or reviewing lately so I have missed a few of your submissions. I am always blown away at how easy it is to pick at any place in your work and instantly be caught back up in the plot. I am honored to be able to read and review your work.
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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I have not been able to do a lot or reviewing lately so I have missed a few of your submissions. I am always blown away at how easy it is to pick at any place in your work and instantly be caught back up in the plot. I am honored to be able to read and review your work.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Wow, lots of action in this chapter, barbara. You can cut the tension in the air with a knife, as they say. Now, we have a link to Bobby. Retribution can't be far behind. Well done! Bev
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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Wow, lots of action in this chapter, barbara. You can cut the tension in the air with a knife, as they say. Now, we have a link to Bobby. Retribution can't be far behind. Well done! Bev
Comment Written 28-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome, barbara.
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
Another well written chapter, the characters are consistent and well developed. The storyline moves along nicely and the dialogue remains natural and flows well.
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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Another well written chapter, the characters are consistent and well developed. The storyline moves along nicely and the dialogue remains natural and flows well.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Another solid chapter, Barbara. Great dialogue. Loved the little interaction there with her boss. Well don. I suspect the homeless vet is Sam. Isn't Troy just a gem? This armed-robber character sounds like big trouble. Looking forward to the next.
Av
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Another solid chapter, Barbara. Great dialogue. Loved the little interaction there with her boss. Well don. I suspect the homeless vet is Sam. Isn't Troy just a gem? This armed-robber character sounds like big trouble. Looking forward to the next.
Av
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
Barbara, I hope you won't be hurt by the fact that I feel this is being drawn out, and I'm feeling somewhat impatient with the redundancy. The chapter is well written, but these climatic pauses keep happening.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Barbara, I hope you won't be hurt by the fact that I feel this is being drawn out, and I'm feeling somewhat impatient with the redundancy. The chapter is well written, but these climatic pauses keep happening.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
I think this is a very special chapter about the dangers of domestic violence. I liked how Anna is improvement and she is in her way for a much better life.
I loved your dialogues and your great narrative writing as well. Thanks for this enjoyable reading!
:)
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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I think this is a very special chapter about the dangers of domestic violence. I liked how Anna is improvement and she is in her way for a much better life.
I loved your dialogues and your great narrative writing as well. Thanks for this enjoyable reading!
:)
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from abbasjoy
This is another great chapter, and the story is getting even more intriguing. It does look as though Troy is getting some leads as to who is trying to harm Anna.
Once again you get the feeling of how trapped Anna must feel, and that is what abuse does to you. Traps you and holds you in a tight grip like a chain.
Thank you for addressing this problem that affects so many.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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This is another great chapter, and the story is getting even more intriguing. It does look as though Troy is getting some leads as to who is trying to harm Anna.
Once again you get the feeling of how trapped Anna must feel, and that is what abuse does to you. Traps you and holds you in a tight grip like a chain.
Thank you for addressing this problem that affects so many.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Anisa-
Really well written, great length for reviewing purposes. I think the dialogue is written well and that it moves at a nice pace. Your chapters are easy to fall in and out of and still make sense.
I think the homeless person part might have been a bit over-done. I get the charity aspect, but just thought it was emphasized a bit much.
Great job with this. Looking forward to more.
Anisa
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Really well written, great length for reviewing purposes. I think the dialogue is written well and that it moves at a nice pace. Your chapters are easy to fall in and out of and still make sense.
I think the homeless person part might have been a bit over-done. I get the charity aspect, but just thought it was emphasized a bit much.
Great job with this. Looking forward to more.
Anisa
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from dbmccarter
The homeless man has to be Sam. I hope. I like that they are beginning to figure out who is causing the trouble. This also made me want a cheeseburger. Cant' wait for more.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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The homeless man has to be Sam. I hope. I like that they are beginning to figure out who is causing the trouble. This also made me want a cheeseburger. Cant' wait for more.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
