Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "part 1 Chapter 17"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
83 total reviews
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Oh crap, now the later chapter I read is starting to come together. Anna really was biding time until Bobby got out of jail and attacked her. This was all leading up to that chapter. I can so see it. Wow your are good.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
  |
Oh crap, now the later chapter I read is starting to come together. Anna really was biding time until Bobby got out of jail and attacked her. This was all leading up to that chapter. I can so see it. Wow your are good.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
-
Thank you.
Comment from Scornwell
As is always the case, I found no mistakes. I got busy and lost track of the story but this chapter is engaging and easy to follow. The characters come across well and the dialog sounds natural and seems consistent with the characters.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
|
As is always the case, I found no mistakes. I got busy and lost track of the story but this chapter is engaging and easy to follow. The characters come across well and the dialog sounds natural and seems consistent with the characters.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Adri7enne
Your romance fiction has a lot of intrigue. You explore the possibilities of nurturing a new relationship while the old one still lurks in the shadows, a threatening presence. Good concept.
I love the artwork. Very appropriate to your story. Well done, barb.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
|
Your romance fiction has a lot of intrigue. You explore the possibilities of nurturing a new relationship while the old one still lurks in the shadows, a threatening presence. Good concept.
I love the artwork. Very appropriate to your story. Well done, barb.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Mishelly
This is another great chapter. I can feel Anna getting closer to the truth bit by bit. The characters of Troy and Anna feel very believable, and the dialogue is very natural between them. I can't wait to read more.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
|
This is another great chapter. I can feel Anna getting closer to the truth bit by bit. The characters of Troy and Anna feel very believable, and the dialogue is very natural between them. I can't wait to read more.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from manjuneelam
The story and events of the write is very interesting It is written with good choice of words and well developed sentences and dialogues. The story and the characters have a good appeal.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
|
The story and events of the write is very interesting It is written with good choice of words and well developed sentences and dialogues. The story and the characters have a good appeal.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Kelltic
I want to read more so you have effortlessly succeeded at grabbing my attention. You have introduced your primary character seamlessly and without drama or excess but with ease and simplicity. Your dialogue is not broken or stumbling but smooth, with enough descriptions to avoid the "he said/she said" cliche' of many an author. I want to turn the page :)
Well done and thank you!
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
 |
I want to read more so you have effortlessly succeeded at grabbing my attention. You have introduced your primary character seamlessly and without drama or excess but with ease and simplicity. Your dialogue is not broken or stumbling but smooth, with enough descriptions to avoid the "he said/she said" cliche' of many an author. I want to turn the page :)
Well done and thank you!
Comment Written 29-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review and support.Than
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Barb. How is your health doing? I appreciate you reviewing my story and I am just now starting to get caught up with my reviews since I came back.
This is a well written chapter just as all of yours are. Your imagery is superb and your dialogue is fantastic.
A couple of small things I noticed, if you don't mind:
"Anna noticed Troy walk...." Looking out the window would she "notice" Troy...or See him? Anna saw Troy walk . . ." I think.
"She pointed toward the disabled vet" I think in this paragraph, just "He pointed" will be fine. Forget the rest.
Great job as usual, Barb...Bob
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
|
Hi, Barb. How is your health doing? I appreciate you reviewing my story and I am just now starting to get caught up with my reviews since I came back.
This is a well written chapter just as all of yours are. Your imagery is superb and your dialogue is fantastic.
A couple of small things I noticed, if you don't mind:
"Anna noticed Troy walk...." Looking out the window would she "notice" Troy...or See him? Anna saw Troy walk . . ." I think.
"She pointed toward the disabled vet" I think in this paragraph, just "He pointed" will be fine. Forget the rest.
Great job as usual, Barb...Bob
Comment Written 29-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2012
-
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I needed to make sure I had time to make the corrections. I have done so. Thank you for your eagle eye.
Comment from Readywriter52
Anna life seems to have become more dangerous. She didn't recongnize Billy Joe Stuart's name, but she recognized his picture. She know that he is a dangerous man.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
|
Anna life seems to have become more dangerous. She didn't recongnize Billy Joe Stuart's name, but she recognized his picture. She know that he is a dangerous man.
Comment Written 29-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from bookishfabler
Sorry this took so long. We've had a few jobs and it's keeping us busy, which is a good thing. Another great chapter. and I saw no nits or spags. I just renewed my FS time, so you're stuck with me for another two years. Hey, I just noticed a spell check on this.
Thanks for sharing,
hugs HEidi
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
|
Sorry this took so long. We've had a few jobs and it's keeping us busy, which is a good thing. Another great chapter. and I saw no nits or spags. I just renewed my FS time, so you're stuck with me for another two years. Hey, I just noticed a spell check on this.
Thanks for sharing,
hugs HEidi
Comment Written 29-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Nanashirley
I liked the way you added the new character. I think it is likely he is Sam in disguise. I think the story is growing and leading well. I saw no editing needed.
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
|
I liked the way you added the new character. I think it is likely he is Sam in disguise. I think the story is growing and leading well. I saw no editing needed.
Comment Written 29-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
