Rampage
I was able to make this poem while at the beach8 total reviews
Comment from dmt1967
I could picture the waves coming up onto the beach the poem was that good and that well written good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
  |
I could picture the waves coming up onto the beach the poem was that good and that well written good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
Comment Written 21-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
thank you very much!...
Comment from Curtis Hatch
You made good use of your seventeen syllables. The shore is an example of action and change; the waves striking endlessly trampling the sand. The large waves come too rapidly and shake the shore. It is an intriguing place to be. Curtis
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
You made good use of your seventeen syllables. The shore is an example of action and change; the waves striking endlessly trampling the sand. The large waves come too rapidly and shake the shore. It is an intriguing place to be. Curtis
Comment Written 21-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
Hi Curtis! Thanks for you wonderful review..:-)
Comment from ernesto escarro
Rampage
Strength shown to destroy
base of power where it was overwhelmed.
A perfect designed prepared for the menace of the enemy.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
|
Rampage
Strength shown to destroy
base of power where it was overwhelmed.
A perfect designed prepared for the menace of the enemy.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful review!.. :-)
-
Thanks for sharing.
Comment from terry drake
5-7-5 syllable count verse format challenge successfully accomplished by your three line poem. Congratulations on your poem and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
|
5-7-5 syllable count verse format challenge successfully accomplished by your three line poem. Congratulations on your poem and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
-
Many thanks terry!!...
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count and structure
good consonance of soft S sounds in strike endlessly
good alliteration in shook the shore
vivid descriptive detail that creates a compelling mood :-) Brooke
Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count
strike/shake/trample - excellent choice of strong verbs to add power to your scene
vivid descriptive detail with excellent sensory appeal :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2012
|
Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count and structure
good consonance of soft S sounds in strike endlessly
good alliteration in shook the shore
vivid descriptive detail that creates a compelling mood :-) Brooke
Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count
strike/shake/trample - excellent choice of strong verbs to add power to your scene
vivid descriptive detail with excellent sensory appeal :-) Brooke
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2012
-
Thank you so much for that wonderful review. So inspiring for a newbie like me! :-)
Comment from c_lucas
The elements of nature are hurled at mankind, but will subsist over time. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
|
The elements of nature are hurled at mankind, but will subsist over time. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
-
Thanks! Hope Im gonna do it better next time..
-
You're welcome, Joe. Charlie
Comment from playinaround
Excellent description of beach waves crashing to the shore. great flow and expression. i was thinking in the end there would be a continuing line. like 'until the next wave' It kind of cut off suddenly. but this is really well written as it is.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
|
Excellent description of beach waves crashing to the shore. great flow and expression. i was thinking in the end there would be a continuing line. like 'until the next wave' It kind of cut off suddenly. but this is really well written as it is.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
-
Thanks! I Have to make it better next time around..
Comment from Chris Tee
Your poem has too many lines.
Sorry I had to abandon the read because this is not to the required format.
You will not shape in the contest.
This is a three line poem required.
It must have 5 syllables not words in the first line.
7 syllables not words in the second.
It must have 5 syllables in the last line
Let me try to help you.
It is a 5-7-5, haiku and senryu format, Ok:
Example:
I love you so much = 5 syllables
My love for you is extreme = 7 syllables
Much is love for you = 5 syllables
Three lines only you see
Now do not give up go and edit it.
Take your time to figure it out do not rush Ok.
Before you post a poem read the rules carefully and abide by those rules.
Once you have edited it reply to me.
I shall re-review it for you.
If you do not understand tell me in your reply Ok,
I shall try to help you further
Never quit.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
|
Your poem has too many lines.
Sorry I had to abandon the read because this is not to the required format.
You will not shape in the contest.
This is a three line poem required.
It must have 5 syllables not words in the first line.
7 syllables not words in the second.
It must have 5 syllables in the last line
Let me try to help you.
It is a 5-7-5, haiku and senryu format, Ok:
Example:
I love you so much = 5 syllables
My love for you is extreme = 7 syllables
Much is love for you = 5 syllables
Three lines only you see
Now do not give up go and edit it.
Take your time to figure it out do not rush Ok.
Before you post a poem read the rules carefully and abide by those rules.
Once you have edited it reply to me.
I shall re-review it for you.
If you do not understand tell me in your reply Ok,
I shall try to help you further
Never quit.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
-
Thanks! I misunderstood the format. I'll never give up and i'll edit it.. :-)
-
I already edited it. Hope I made it this time correctly..
-
Now this is excellent old sport.
-
Thank you very much. Hope to hear more from you on my upcoming posts here.
