Winter's Lifetime
What we experience thoughout life.12 total reviews
Comment from Judian James
Hi Mike. This is Excellent! It's been awhile since I've read anything of yours. I'm impressed!! Just a few little suggestions for tweaks to take or toss as you see fit
: First line of verse two, I would change out "becomes" for "then is" because you used "becomes in the line just above. Although "summer's past" makes sense, I think "summers passed" might be more effective within the context of this piece. Then, in the first line of verse four, I would flip "once constantly" to "constantly once"
I LOVED this line: "Through nature's bunting, footsteps silenced, heart now felt" a truly excellent piece, Mike
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
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Hi Mike. This is Excellent! It's been awhile since I've read anything of yours. I'm impressed!! Just a few little suggestions for tweaks to take or toss as you see fit
: First line of verse two, I would change out "becomes" for "then is" because you used "becomes in the line just above. Although "summer's past" makes sense, I think "summers passed" might be more effective within the context of this piece. Then, in the first line of verse four, I would flip "once constantly" to "constantly once"
I LOVED this line: "Through nature's bunting, footsteps silenced, heart now felt" a truly excellent piece, Mike
Comment Written 01-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
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Jude, this is the one I was under the gun with, and unless the editor changes this, it will remain as is. But don't think of a minute your suggestions will remain unnoticed in future poems. I endear what winter throws at me, so it becomes a difficulty to present it in such a way to communicate what I think needs to be said. In my mind winter is the ultimate of paradoxs as in one respect she represents death, in the other the virginity that renews the earth. Mankind itself needs such a vehicle.
I love this review and have missed them. I am working on concluding my biography, and held back on the second to last chapter for a couple of months, hoping to present it in a more positive vain. But as with this poem, I must communicate what needs to be said. It's about one of my writing projects about a radio station, they have many blessings but insist on the arrogance of putting their personalities ahead of what people enjoyed about them. According to them, because of my beliefs, I am the same as the KKK. I might has well been a black man and they call me an N. Decided to handle things the same.
I love this review and thank you for it. I think there is about 100 reviews to catch up on! LOL I consider you a blessing.
Mike
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Actually, what I have pointed out could be considered "typos" almost.
Why wouldn't "the editor" (who?) not want you to repair a few "mistakes"? Nice work!
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LOL, sometimes I wonder the same. I submitted an op ed, now I gave up my rights to distribute or post for ten days while they consider. It is titled, "The Bludgeoning of Americans." Just a mind set on the treatment of people of differing views and how unexpected results are discoved. Not so much the what, but the how, a disturbing trend in my mind.
Comment from adewpearl
strong rhyming couplets
comfort and heat seems - seem
good consonance of soft S sounds in slippery glassine
good alliteration in glassine/glittery
I love the line - winter's death is welcomed but seldom observed
great imagery of the melting jewel cases around the buds
vivid descriptive detail
meaningful message : -) Brooke
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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strong rhyming couplets
comfort and heat seems - seem
good consonance of soft S sounds in slippery glassine
good alliteration in glassine/glittery
I love the line - winter's death is welcomed but seldom observed
great imagery of the melting jewel cases around the buds
vivid descriptive detail
meaningful message : -) Brooke
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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I now wonder if seems will be picked up. I did change it, but the more I write, I become amazed at just how much dialect seems to become accepted, as you are the first to pick that out.
Being a creature of the woods, I am always amazed at people saying, "Everything is dead in winter." when it is so not true provide you are willing to go out and about. We are all taught that ice and frost kills, which is why I love putting on crampons (little used) and thinking the trees won't survive. Despite I am also covered in ice, I am amazed at the heardiness of nature, which teaches me to trust in one's will to survive until the final curtian call. All to often in life, we think it is the same case for ourselves, yet we always forget those warming moments. I lost my memory for ten years, so make it now a point to appreciate that pot bellied warmth, it has carried me though a lot. I love this review, thanks Mike.
Comment from IndianaIrish
I'm a winter lover, too, Mike, and have been a little disappointed in the mildness this season has been. The only thing I don't like about winter is getting stranded at work when there's a blizzard, and over the years, I've always been at work when they wouldn't let the staff go home. Winter is such a wild season...it's like our lives. It can be so cruel and painful, and also so stunningly beautiful. I enjoyed your poem very much, Mike. I love winter, but by March, I'm ready for spring.
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2012
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I'm a winter lover, too, Mike, and have been a little disappointed in the mildness this season has been. The only thing I don't like about winter is getting stranded at work when there's a blizzard, and over the years, I've always been at work when they wouldn't let the staff go home. Winter is such a wild season...it's like our lives. It can be so cruel and painful, and also so stunningly beautiful. I enjoyed your poem very much, Mike. I love winter, but by March, I'm ready for spring.
Indy :>)
Comment Written 26-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2012
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A good winter sets you in the mood to enjoy every beauty and warmth spring can produce, agreed there. I thank you very much for this review. Mike
Comment from Jean Lutz
Hang in there, Mike. Spring is coming. At least I think. Even seasons seem to be having a mid-life crisis. As for the season of my life -- I am in my second childhood and loving it.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2012
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Hang in there, Mike. Spring is coming. At least I think. Even seasons seem to be having a mid-life crisis. As for the season of my life -- I am in my second childhood and loving it.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2012
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Weatherwise, it has been a topsy turvy world. Baltimore is in the dividing line for the weather you can get so this year it has actually been very mild. I think the people who enjoy the most, mature, yet never loose what was so special about childhood and realizes that so much of life requires that unfailing outlook. I loved this review and thank you for it. Mike
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Mike,
You have penned an amazing poem and one I enjoyed reading. Your rhyming couplets are effective and I like the metaphor. When we are in the winter of our lives we hope for another life ahead of us, a new beginning but who knows what that will be. Your word selection is evocative and compelling. Here are the six stars I have left ****** Well done, chey
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Hi Mike,
You have penned an amazing poem and one I enjoyed reading. Your rhyming couplets are effective and I like the metaphor. When we are in the winter of our lives we hope for another life ahead of us, a new beginning but who knows what that will be. Your word selection is evocative and compelling. Here are the six stars I have left ****** Well done, chey
Comment Written 24-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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What a wonderful review that gave me chills to. I thought about this over a month ago, and penned a couple of stanzas. This was the one I had to get out fairly quickly and am touched so much that everyone loves it. That has been the case for me this year as I have the heat turned down as much as possible to catch up on bills, but I love winter so wanted to get to how the season makes everyone feel. It wasn't hard to do as there are other winterlike analogies that bring psychological winters about. I thank you very much for the compliments and this review, and the wonderfully stated sentiments too. Mike
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You are welcome, Mike, I love your poem...chey
Comment from Janie King
Winter can be a difficult time..especially for the homeless..it is beautiful in many ways..it can be very dangerous if ice accomany's its freezing temperature. Good poem. God bless.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Winter can be a difficult time..especially for the homeless..it is beautiful in many ways..it can be very dangerous if ice accomany's its freezing temperature. Good poem. God bless.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for the compliments and this review.
Comment from Chris Tee
These are absolutely wonderful rhyming couplets that you have composed here for us old sport. Well done indeed with this work old chap.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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These are absolutely wonderful rhyming couplets that you have composed here for us old sport. Well done indeed with this work old chap.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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I whank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from Devados
You presenta very good description of season's change from all into winter...if I interpret your work correctly. I like nature stories and poems and you did well here.
Thanks for sharing.
Devados
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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You presenta very good description of season's change from all into winter...if I interpret your work correctly. I like nature stories and poems and you did well here.
Thanks for sharing.
Devados
Comment Written 24-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Yes, but I also wanted to use the imagery of similar to stand for the other types bleak winters we face at times throught our lives, and my obversation that they too are temporary. I thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from Modee
Very nicely done. I love the Winter, but am so happy Spring is just around the corner. Love how you rhymed known and grow'n. very cool. :)
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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Very nicely done. I love the Winter, but am so happy Spring is just around the corner. Love how you rhymed known and grow'n. very cool. :)
Comment Written 23-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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I wanted to use, once again grown, but that didn't fit in to my satisfaction, and also wanted to use growing. I thanked God for dialect, as I think it was a nice building block that best indicates both usages in my mind. I thank you very much for this review and wonderful compliments. Mike
Comment from jimbo starr
You are an artist that paints with the pen dipped in magic visions we all love to imagine. Seems music and poetry go well together. Hmmmmmm? Great piece here and impressive. I reckon if you had grabbed a picture to really smash this home the five would come alive with a big 6. Very, very, cool, but not cold. Simply perfect with a pictorial heading. What is a Theremin?
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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You are an artist that paints with the pen dipped in magic visions we all love to imagine. Seems music and poetry go well together. Hmmmmmm? Great piece here and impressive. I reckon if you had grabbed a picture to really smash this home the five would come alive with a big 6. Very, very, cool, but not cold. Simply perfect with a pictorial heading. What is a Theremin?
Comment Written 23-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
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It's funny that you say this as I wanted to be a real fine artist, but couldn't find the people with the patience to teach me, or the money to get them too. Then couldn't find the time to do it myself, yet I studied as much about art as I could ... I became a photographer instead. With writing, I didn't expect much, but what an amazing wonderment to combine all of my talents and learn how to paint imagery with words, and use it to impart meaning as well.
A Theremin is actually the only instrument you play without touching. The Theremin is actually two antennas and is based on feedback. A tone is generated and the straight antenna produces the pitch and the loop antenna controls the volume. Mix the two and you create music. I am not that accomplished, but it is great to use at Halloween, and the first time I set it up for the tricker treaters, I couldn't get anyone to come up on the porch to get their candy. You can cut and paste the link below into your browser to see one being played. With Utube, you can also type in it's search box, Star Trek Theme played with theremin. It was invented by a Russian musician and physicist who emegrated to New York in the 20's. He developed one for RCA, who used in in those sappy sci-fi movies, but he set about convincing people of it's legiment use in music and even had an orchestra of them for performances. There is a lot of intrigue around him, because he disappeared from the streets of New York and it was revealed in the late 80's the Russians Kidnapped him, so he could develop listening devices for them, known as, "The Bug." The technology is also used in a variety of devices such as proximity alarms. I think our government knew what happened to him, because they suspected Russian spies were getting sensitive information from the consulate adn it was revealed the ambassador was given a clock for his office by Russian School Children and it not only contained the bug, but a proximity antenna to turn itself on when someone was in the room.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AS9LJK8i1VE
