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As Berries Burst With Juice


two octets in 6/7/6/7/6/6/6/6

  181 total reviews 
Comment by
mumsyone
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A beautiful poem, Brooke, and a presentation that has made me hungry for berries of some kind--any kind! I especially like your last four lines.


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    mumsyone, thank you so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
Mastery
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"The brook that burbles by,
the warmth sent from the sun
have plumped these berries well,
that I might eat this one."

Great word "burbles"

Another gem, Brooke. Bob


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    Bob, thank you so very much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
Father Flaps
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Hi Brooke
This is truly a beautiful poem. I get the meter, and nicely done!
Love the picture you chose to compliment your poem. I love picking blackberries in late August/early September.
I like how you write,
"and then I thank the Lord,
Who made Creation mine."... because that is exactly what God did:
"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." Genesis 1:26
You have some nice alliteration,
"As berries burst with juice"... with "b" and "s/c"
"all season they've been saving"... with "s"
"...its stem
to satisfy..." .....with "s"
"The brook that burbles by"... with "b"
"sent from the sun"... with "s"
"nature's fine designing"... with "n"
I like the rhymes of "saving/craving" and "dining/designing" with that extra soft syllable for lines 2 & 4 of each verse.
My favourite line,
"As berries burst with juice".
What a pleasure to read this piece. Thanks for sharing your wonderful talent.
your fan
Kimbob


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
    Kimbob, thank you so very much, my friend, for your excellent analysis and close reading of this poem :-) Brooke
Comment by
fastdigits
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Your writings are always fascinating to me
in the tales you tell in meter that beats to
music that never misses a note, that plays
like a symphony of words which you the
conductor compose with such beauty
and charm as each word sings out in
wisdom, carried down the screen as
graceful as a ballerina as she dances
her dance of grace.
Well done


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    Thank you so very much, my thoughtful friend - you've left me smiling :-) Brooke
Comment by
BLACKDYKE
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Six, six, six. That comes to 18 I think.
I am reduced to a wreck at your fantastic
Poetry. I am feeling sick now, and jealous
Too. After all, I'm only human. How very
wonderful this poetry is, and what a marvelous
Picture you have chosen to accompany. Eric


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    Eric, thank you so very much for your wonderfully enthusiastic, encouraging and generous review :-) Brooke

reply by BLACKDYKE on 23-Feb-2012
    my pleasure
Comment by
Nanette Mary
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Hullo Brooke ...

Under such a beautiful and colourful picture, your words describe so well the berries that provide us with
delicious fruit to eat .... and I like the way you have
credited the sun and all that helped their growth but, above all the One Who created everything.
This is an interesting format and one that I have not seen before. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.



 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    Nanette Mary, thanks so very much for your thoughtful review, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment by
pickelhead
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You have woven a delightful poem and ended it with thanks to our Lord who has created all beauty that our eyes see each day and for which we all give thanks to God. Great faultless poem.


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    pickelhead, thank you so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
Louise Michelle
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Although I think this piece was inspired by your love for God (considering you had just returned from church), I think the reader can receive all kinds of messages and commentaries about the food we eat. Nutritionists especially! Hugs, Lou


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    Lou,thank you so very much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
jadapenn
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Hi Brooke, a lovely poem about the fruits of nature. Actually, once upon a time these berries grew in abundance for all. Now we hardly see them in the wild - not in this country anyway. It's unsafe to go exploring.
Well written. luv jada


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
    Jada, thank you, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
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 Rank:  51
 
Gert sherwood Recommends:
Forgiveness gives Ease
a b a b a tercet and two couplets
Pays:10 points
10 member cents
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Thank you Brooke,
for making my mouth water for the juicy taste of one of those berries in your picture.
Your poem has such wonderful smooth meter.
I can see and hear how iambic can make one's poem standout

Gert


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
    Gert, thank you so very much for this generous exceptional rating and for your gracious comments. I truly appreciate it, my friend :-) Brooke

reply by Gert sherwood on 21-Feb-2012
    You are very welcome Brooke
    Gert
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