Nancy Green
She got away with murder when the Squires son took a fancy
Pays: 8 points.
1.05 member dollars
Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Flash Fiction Writing Contest
Deadline: In 6 Days

Tanka Poetry Contest
Deadline: Nov 7th

5-7-5 Poetry Contest
Deadline: Nov 14th

Horror Story Writing Contest
Deadline: Nov 21st

Novel Writing
Deadline: Nov 28th


Writing Classes

Novel Middles
Class Begins: November 3rd

Poetry Tutorial
Class Begins: November 10th

Grammar Tips (SPAG)
Class Begins: November 10th

Rhyme and Meter in Poetry
Class Begins: November 11th

4 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
As Berries Burst With Juice


two octets in 6/7/6/7/6/6/6/6

  181 total reviews 
Comment by
mumsyone
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  58
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  74
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  212
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A beautiful poem, Brooke, and a presentation that has made me hungry for berries of some kind--any kind! I especially like your last four lines.


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    mumsyone, thank you so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
Mastery
Premier Author
Semper Fi
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  354
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
"The brook that burbles by,
the warmth sent from the sun
have plumped these berries well,
that I might eat this one."

Great word "burbles"

Another gem, Brooke. Bob


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    Bob, thank you so very much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
Father Flaps
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  173 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  135
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  150
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Brooke
This is truly a beautiful poem. I get the meter, and nicely done!
Love the picture you chose to compliment your poem. I love picking blackberries in late August/early September.
I like how you write,
"and then I thank the Lord,
Who made Creation mine."... because that is exactly what God did:
"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." Genesis 1:26
You have some nice alliteration,
"As berries burst with juice"... with "b" and "s/c"
"all season they've been saving"... with "s"
"...its stem
to satisfy..." .....with "s"
"The brook that burbles by"... with "b"
"sent from the sun"... with "s"
"nature's fine designing"... with "n"
I like the rhymes of "saving/craving" and "dining/designing" with that extra soft syllable for lines 2 & 4 of each verse.
My favourite line,
"As berries burst with juice".
What a pleasure to read this piece. Thanks for sharing your wonderful talent.
your fan
Kimbob


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012



reply by the author on 24-Feb-2012
    Kimbob, thank you so very much, my friend, for your excellent analysis and close reading of this poem :-) Brooke
Comment by
fastdigits
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  181
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  180
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Your writings are always fascinating to me
in the tales you tell in meter that beats to
music that never misses a note, that plays
like a symphony of words which you the
conductor compose with such beauty
and charm as each word sings out in
wisdom, carried down the screen as
graceful as a ballerina as she dances
her dance of grace.
Well done


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    Thank you so very much, my thoughtful friend - you've left me smiling :-) Brooke
Comment by
BLACKDYKE
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  435
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  253
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Six, six, six. That comes to 18 I think.
I am reduced to a wreck at your fantastic
Poetry. I am feeling sick now, and jealous
Too. After all, I'm only human. How very
wonderful this poetry is, and what a marvelous
Picture you have chosen to accompany. Eric


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    Eric, thank you so very much for your wonderfully enthusiastic, encouraging and generous review :-) Brooke

reply by BLACKDYKE on 23-Feb-2012
    my pleasure
Comment by
Nanette Mary
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hullo Brooke ...

Under such a beautiful and colourful picture, your words describe so well the berries that provide us with
delicious fruit to eat .... and I like the way you have
credited the sun and all that helped their growth but, above all the One Who created everything.
This is an interesting format and one that I have not seen before. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.



 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    Nanette Mary, thanks so very much for your thoughtful review, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment by
pickelhead
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You have woven a delightful poem and ended it with thanks to our Lord who has created all beauty that our eyes see each day and for which we all give thanks to God. Great faultless poem.


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    pickelhead, thank you so much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
Louise Michelle
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  72
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  58
Review Stars
  Rank:  67
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Although I think this piece was inspired by your love for God (considering you had just returned from church), I think the reader can receive all kinds of messages and commentaries about the food we eat. Nutritionists especially! Hugs, Lou


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2012
    Lou,thank you so very much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment by
jadapenn
Premier Author
Just do it!
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  254
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  17
Review Stars
  Rank:  340
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Brooke, a lovely poem about the fruits of nature. Actually, once upon a time these berries grew in abundance for all. Now we hardly see them in the wild - not in this country anyway. It's unsafe to go exploring.
Well written. luv jada


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012



reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
    Jada, thank you, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  92
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  1035
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Thank you Brooke,
for making my mouth water for the juicy taste of one of those berries in your picture.
Your poem has such wonderful smooth meter.
I can see and hear how iambic can make one's poem standout

Gert


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2012



reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
    Gert, thank you so very much for this generous exceptional rating and for your gracious comments. I truly appreciate it, my friend :-) Brooke

reply by Gert sherwood on 21-Feb-2012
    You are very welcome Brooke
    Gert
  Previous Page  1 2  -3-  4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Winter's Icy Breath
The long days of winter


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2014 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy