you don't know how
a contest entry80 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
Surely this is one of the best you have written, Alvin. Each word is like a teardrop falling from the heart. If only God would give us a glimpse of what He sees written on hearts. Best to you with the entry.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Surely this is one of the best you have written, Alvin. Each word is like a teardrop falling from the heart. If only God would give us a glimpse of what He sees written on hearts. Best to you with the entry.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Thanks for an exceptional review. You know me so well. I am excited about the Genesis class in April.
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Me too. Looks like you are going to keep us busy.
Comment from RADIO
A true and honest portrayl
of a caring compassionate
human being written completely
from the heart. A baring of
the soul.
Radoi
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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A true and honest portrayl
of a caring compassionate
human being written completely
from the heart. A baring of
the soul.
Radoi
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Thanks for a exceptional review. I am quite grateful.
Comment from c_lucas
Clothes do not make the man. This very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read. A man's life is not what he is his acts, not what he says it is.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Clothes do not make the man. This very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read. A man's life is not what he is his acts, not what he says it is.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Thanks for an excellent review; I am most appreciative.
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You're welcome, Alvin. Good luck with your class. Charlie
Comment from cvcopac
Reviewing the teacher is a challenge. Most say, 'Always bring the teacher an apple.' And, although I never have, they're probably right. I can see the implied logic. Good structure and a careful vocabulary. Good metaphor in 'Brooks Brothers Suit,' and carries over in, 'poor and the homeless.' Over all the poem communicates well. Third stanza: I see the conflict in the last line and am not sure it belongs there. Maybe one word describing this thought? Last two lines of final stanza: Sophistication would negate the child despite your telling us otherwise. All in all an enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Reviewing the teacher is a challenge. Most say, 'Always bring the teacher an apple.' And, although I never have, they're probably right. I can see the implied logic. Good structure and a careful vocabulary. Good metaphor in 'Brooks Brothers Suit,' and carries over in, 'poor and the homeless.' Over all the poem communicates well. Third stanza: I see the conflict in the last line and am not sure it belongs there. Maybe one word describing this thought? Last two lines of final stanza: Sophistication would negate the child despite your telling us otherwise. All in all an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Thanks for an excellent review. I made changes in both places you mention. If you would be so kind, would you tell me what you think of them now? (Oh, BTW, there are four seats left in the Genesis and Poetry course, if you are interested.)
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Yes, it now reads positive and I view the finale intirely different. I may have to take a trip north next month; we'll see how that goes.
Comment from jshep
Judgment through the eyes of others is always a challenging issues, Al. You voice is it so profoundly in this poem. But above all what words you wrote that make the biggest impact is 'and think I am.' We need as humans to take the time to really know. It is like I look well so I don't have two cancers. LOL
You have done a great job with the free verse flow and the impact of your words. You give the reader a great deal to think about, especially the fact that in some ways 'we all are children.' Well done and good luck. Joyce
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Judgment through the eyes of others is always a challenging issues, Al. You voice is it so profoundly in this poem. But above all what words you wrote that make the biggest impact is 'and think I am.' We need as humans to take the time to really know. It is like I look well so I don't have two cancers. LOL
You have done a great job with the free verse flow and the impact of your words. You give the reader a great deal to think about, especially the fact that in some ways 'we all are children.' Well done and good luck. Joyce
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Thanks for an excellent review. I am most grateful. Have you been posting of late?
Comment from honeytree
The art work is very telling and interesting.
A child can be very clever from an early age.
A child learns how to cope with life some faster then others.
A child is a person learning about life as they grow.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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The art work is very telling and interesting.
A child can be very clever from an early age.
A child learns how to cope with life some faster then others.
A child is a person learning about life as they grow.
Honey tree
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Thanks for an excellent reivew; I am most appreciative.
Comment from d l henderson
there is a profoundly intense power within the boundaries of a humble soul...simple yet astounding...mellow yet joyous...this work is a fine example of humility and its compelling rewards that are not solicited but rather a metaphysical residue of compassion for one's self as well as others...this stands tall....and rightly so...
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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there is a profoundly intense power within the boundaries of a humble soul...simple yet astounding...mellow yet joyous...this work is a fine example of humility and its compelling rewards that are not solicited but rather a metaphysical residue of compassion for one's self as well as others...this stands tall....and rightly so...
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Thanks for an exceptional review and understanding the poem so well. I am immensely grateful.
Comment from Skyangel02
If this is the true message from your heart then I think no one would guess you feel this way since you are a published author and a professional paid reviewer.
If you are putting yourself in other peoples shoes then you do a great job of it.
I like the message in this poem. I think most people put on brave exteriors and are insecure children underneath.
I think most readers would be able to relate to this very well.
To any writers who want my opinion, I will say you are all as good as you believe you are.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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If this is the true message from your heart then I think no one would guess you feel this way since you are a published author and a professional paid reviewer.
If you are putting yourself in other peoples shoes then you do a great job of it.
I like the message in this poem. I think most people put on brave exteriors and are insecure children underneath.
I think most readers would be able to relate to this very well.
To any writers who want my opinion, I will say you are all as good as you believe you are.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Yes, this is my private persona speaking out. Thanks for an excellent review; I haven't forgotten about reading some of your work. I am editing a book of senryu right now and that is taking a bit of time.
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You're welcome Alvin. Please don't feel obligated to review any of my work. I understand you are a busy man and your professional work must come first. After all, a man must make a living for his family. I am only here to learn what I can for free and have a bit of fun. I am not interested in ever becoming professional or selling my work so it really makes no difference to me if I get helpful advice from people or not. I appreciate when I do get it but I don't want to make anyone feel obligated to give it.
I will you all the best in your career and from what I have read of your work so far. It is as good as anything else that sells in the bookshops.
Comment from Chris Tee
This is an absolutely marvelous and thought provoking poem that you have composed here for us old sport. Well done indeed with this work.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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This is an absolutely marvelous and thought provoking poem that you have composed here for us old sport. Well done indeed with this work.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Thanks for an excellent review.
Comment from Bojenn
I'm so glad you said these words. It's about time someone spoke out for the other guy with the weight of so many on his or her shoulders!
Creative and well done
Good topic thoughtful
One thought. The "us/them" had me a wee bit baffled or temporarily confused.
Bojenn
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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I'm so glad you said these words. It's about time someone spoke out for the other guy with the weight of so many on his or her shoulders!
Creative and well done
Good topic thoughtful
One thought. The "us/them" had me a wee bit baffled or temporarily confused.
Bojenn
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2012
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Thanks for an excellent review. I made a change in the place you mentioned. Would you be so kind as to look at it and tell me if it is better?
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I read it and it's GREAT! I love the changes you made! Strong writing!
Good job! Well done! Bravo!
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Thanks. I worried about that place for hours.
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Not to worry... It reads so well now.
