The Red Dress
Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "The Red Dress chapter forty-four"The story of a teenage girl
16 total reviews
Comment from rwilliam
OKAY... this explains a lot! A lot about the relationship between Lisa and Richard and the whole Police working on the case. Explained the photos also.
This chapter made a big difference. Not sure how I missed it , but thank you for telling me.
Oh, and GREAT chapter! Congratulations on the award!! That feels nice doesn't it. It's nice to be recognized!! Great work!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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OKAY... this explains a lot! A lot about the relationship between Lisa and Richard and the whole Police working on the case. Explained the photos also.
This chapter made a big difference. Not sure how I missed it , but thank you for telling me.
Oh, and GREAT chapter! Congratulations on the award!! That feels nice doesn't it. It's nice to be recognized!! Great work!
Comment Written 20-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Phew! I must admit I was a bit concerned that I had made a huge Bo bo (not quite sure how you spell that!)until I thought back to check the reviews. Thank you so much for reviewing this and putting my mind at rest. I shall catch up with the last of my reviews tomorrow and shed a tear because it's it all over! Thank you, my friend. Alexis x
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I agree. I've looked forward to our 'meetings' over your book. I hope you'll stay on here and we can chat. I'd love to have your feed back when I can get my chapters back on here. I felt nostalgic when I read the last chapter. I was sad knowing the journey for this is coming to an end. Take care and PLEASE let me know when this gets published because I so want to get a copy!! ( signed if possible). :-) I know great things are in store for you and your gift of writing! It's been a pleasure riding along with you!! :-D
Comment from wordsfromsue
I'm still pulling for Richard. We'll see, I suppose. And word on the street is the fleas, leeches and bedbugs are preparing a special welcoming hole in the ground for Freak Boy!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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I'm still pulling for Richard. We'll see, I suppose. And word on the street is the fleas, leeches and bedbugs are preparing a special welcoming hole in the ground for Freak Boy!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2012
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Well, at least you now know I might be saving him for my own personal use! Seems a shame to waste him...
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hey Alexis
I hope your day off was wonderful. Here we find our heroine in court. Richard giving encouragement and Alan confused as hell. I love the way you left us hanging there at the end. Good form
Bear
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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Hey Alexis
I hope your day off was wonderful. Here we find our heroine in court. Richard giving encouragement and Alan confused as hell. I love the way you left us hanging there at the end. Good form
Bear
Comment Written 15-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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Ah, but I know you that you're not happy with the result, Bear. Leave it with me, I'll see what I can do! Love your review as always, thank you. Alexis x
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
I just thought of something. Since this takes place in Scotland, do they speak with a Scottish brogue? come to think of it, is it taking place in Scotland? I'm not familiar with the place names so don't know what's In scotland and what's in England. But there's no hint of Scotland in the dialogue.
If it wasn't for the fact that she was staying at Vikki's in Chelmsford for the trial[] before she returned to Scotland, she would have happily backed
For the first part of the journey[,] Lisa barely went over forty miles an hour, but as her confidence grew[,] she increased her speed and began to enjoy the
He grabbed the bag Lisa [took] out of the boot and, encouraged by her smile, taken[took] her hand as
they walked towards the house.
After the accident[,] they had regarded
For the last eight or nine months[,] I've been able to put it all to the back of my mind with my exams[] because tomorrow seemed
such a long way away.
The next morning[,] Lisa woke early feeling sickeningly apprehensive.
As a rape victim[,] she had been asked to come to the courthouse early[] so that someone from witness support could show her around the court room before the
trial and familiarise her with the whole procedure.
When she looked up[,] she saw Alan[] and their
eyes met for a moment before Richard squeezed her shoulders reassuringly and steered her towards the private room where she would stay after her tour of
the courtroom[] until she was called to give evidence.
She let out a nervous laugh and told him she was fine[] before kissing him goodbye.
he felt inside now[] was even greater than the pain he'd felt at the hospital when Richard had told him that Lisa didn't want to see him.
The calm, unthreatening courtroom which she had been shown around earlier[] had changed into a sea of staring faces when the public gallery had filled,
and Lisa felt her legs shaking again as she made her way to the witness box. She searched the faces in the gallery, looking for Richard. Only when she
found him[] did she look across at Nick, who was sitting in the dock. As their eyes met[,] she shivered inwardly.
After she was sworn in, Lisa looked back up at the gallery and spotted Alan again[] sitting in the back row. --- I don't know what your plans are for the trial, but if alan is going to be a witness, in the States he would not be allowed to be in the courtroom so his testimony would not be contaminated by other witnesses.
Also, as for the attempted murder, they would not take Nick and Liam's word for it. A mechanic should be able to tell the brakes were tampered with and there might be fingerprints or something. I meant to ask you about that when they were blaming Alan for the accident. I would think they would have given the car a careful going over even if he wasn't awake to tell them what had happened. Nick's having Liam's phone number in the file, all the pictures he'd taken of Lisa over the years showing he was stalking her, Alan's testimony that Liam attempted to rape her. It all ties together. they even have the motive - Nick's obsession with Lisa. Oh, and I forgot, with Mike having been killed in the accident, they would investigate very thoroughly because that actually was murder.
She tore her eyes away from his[]
and looked back at Richard, who smiled back at her encouragingly, giving her strength.
Roberta
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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I just thought of something. Since this takes place in Scotland, do they speak with a Scottish brogue? come to think of it, is it taking place in Scotland? I'm not familiar with the place names so don't know what's In scotland and what's in England. But there's no hint of Scotland in the dialogue.
If it wasn't for the fact that she was staying at Vikki's in Chelmsford for the trial[] before she returned to Scotland, she would have happily backed
For the first part of the journey[,] Lisa barely went over forty miles an hour, but as her confidence grew[,] she increased her speed and began to enjoy the
He grabbed the bag Lisa [took] out of the boot and, encouraged by her smile, taken[took] her hand as
they walked towards the house.
After the accident[,] they had regarded
For the last eight or nine months[,] I've been able to put it all to the back of my mind with my exams[] because tomorrow seemed
such a long way away.
The next morning[,] Lisa woke early feeling sickeningly apprehensive.
As a rape victim[,] she had been asked to come to the courthouse early[] so that someone from witness support could show her around the court room before the
trial and familiarise her with the whole procedure.
When she looked up[,] she saw Alan[] and their
eyes met for a moment before Richard squeezed her shoulders reassuringly and steered her towards the private room where she would stay after her tour of
the courtroom[] until she was called to give evidence.
She let out a nervous laugh and told him she was fine[] before kissing him goodbye.
he felt inside now[] was even greater than the pain he'd felt at the hospital when Richard had told him that Lisa didn't want to see him.
The calm, unthreatening courtroom which she had been shown around earlier[] had changed into a sea of staring faces when the public gallery had filled,
and Lisa felt her legs shaking again as she made her way to the witness box. She searched the faces in the gallery, looking for Richard. Only when she
found him[] did she look across at Nick, who was sitting in the dock. As their eyes met[,] she shivered inwardly.
After she was sworn in, Lisa looked back up at the gallery and spotted Alan again[] sitting in the back row. --- I don't know what your plans are for the trial, but if alan is going to be a witness, in the States he would not be allowed to be in the courtroom so his testimony would not be contaminated by other witnesses.
Also, as for the attempted murder, they would not take Nick and Liam's word for it. A mechanic should be able to tell the brakes were tampered with and there might be fingerprints or something. I meant to ask you about that when they were blaming Alan for the accident. I would think they would have given the car a careful going over even if he wasn't awake to tell them what had happened. Nick's having Liam's phone number in the file, all the pictures he'd taken of Lisa over the years showing he was stalking her, Alan's testimony that Liam attempted to rape her. It all ties together. they even have the motive - Nick's obsession with Lisa. Oh, and I forgot, with Mike having been killed in the accident, they would investigate very thoroughly because that actually was murder.
She tore her eyes away from his[]
and looked back at Richard, who smiled back at her encouragingly, giving her strength.
Roberta
Comment Written 14-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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I can see that I can't get anything past you, Roberta, and I'm so glad. You really are the most wonderful reviewer, and the time you take to help is unprecedented. When I joined this site I hoped I would pick up some pointers, I didn't know how much help and advice I would receive. Thank you for this and all your other incredibly helpful reviews.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Another great chapter, Alexis..
you never disappoint, my friend.
here... there's a lot of looking back... might you lose one of the "back"s
and looked back at Richard, who smiled [back] at her - works just as well.
Margaret
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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Another great chapter, Alexis..
you never disappoint, my friend.
here... there's a lot of looking back... might you lose one of the "back"s
and looked back at Richard, who smiled [back] at her - works just as well.
Margaret
Comment Written 14-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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Great advice, Margaret, as usual! When I've been editing this book I've noticed that certain chapters have repetitive things going on in each one. Sometimes I've been on a 'that' mission, sometimes a ! mission, this was obviously one of my 'back' missions. I have so much to learn. Thank you for being one of the people who does it so graciously. Alexis x
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi alexisleech,
I've definitely missed a couple of chapters somehow. The last I read, Lisa was in Richard's car and Nick had stolen it and then deliberately crashed it to kill her ...
OK, that's my fault. This chapter reads well, the tension over the trial is built up well.
Good work.
Patrick
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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Hi alexisleech,
I've definitely missed a couple of chapters somehow. The last I read, Lisa was in Richard's car and Nick had stolen it and then deliberately crashed it to kill her ...
OK, that's my fault. This chapter reads well, the tension over the trial is built up well.
Good work.
Patrick
Comment Written 14-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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As you now know, the trial didn't exactly to plan, but hey, do they ever! Thank you so much for your great review. Alexis x
Comment from axelbeariter
You've written another good chapter rich with images showing the untold confusion Lisa must have been feeling. What's so weird about reading your book is that my only daughter, also Lisa, grew up during my drinking days. I finally located her on the Internet three years ago. She's almost fifty now and I wrote to her four times before she answered that she wanted nothing to do with me. In a way the misunderstandings of your characters relate to my situation. I couldn't convince my Lisa that I haven't been the asshole she experienced until she was eight anymore. Having been sober for 33 years didn't sway her feelings. We humans are strange critters, and you sure know how to make your readers understand that. Many writers can't pull that off. Keep trucking down that great road.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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You've written another good chapter rich with images showing the untold confusion Lisa must have been feeling. What's so weird about reading your book is that my only daughter, also Lisa, grew up during my drinking days. I finally located her on the Internet three years ago. She's almost fifty now and I wrote to her four times before she answered that she wanted nothing to do with me. In a way the misunderstandings of your characters relate to my situation. I couldn't convince my Lisa that I haven't been the asshole she experienced until she was eight anymore. Having been sober for 33 years didn't sway her feelings. We humans are strange critters, and you sure know how to make your readers understand that. Many writers can't pull that off. Keep trucking down that great road.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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I'm truly sorry to hear that, Axel. I can imagine that hurts tremendously. It's much easier for kids to remember their earlier years as the 'victim' than remember them as being happy, especially if a parent was an alcoholic because, if my mother is anything to go by, you will have forgotten a lot of what you did, she never will. If I hadn't done a course called 'The landmark Forum' aged forty two, which insisted that you phoned anyone who you felt had screwed your life up, and forgive them, I would never have forgiven my mother. The older you get, the easier it is to just hate and blame everything that's gone wrong in your life on a less than perfect parent. Your daughter needs to know that you're not the person she remembers any more, the problem, I'm sure, is how do you make her listen. I shall pm with a suggestion. Alexis x
Comment from LisaSilva
I've never had to testify in court. I can't imagine how mixed she must feel. Even though Nick proved to be a horrible person, she still would feel mixed up inside. Richard really is the good guy you said he would be. You can't always choose who you love, though. Reading on...
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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I've never had to testify in court. I can't imagine how mixed she must feel. Even though Nick proved to be a horrible person, she still would feel mixed up inside. Richard really is the good guy you said he would be. You can't always choose who you love, though. Reading on...
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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You are so right, Lisa. I have had to testify in court as the main witness and yes, it is not a pleasant experience because you're there trying to do right, and end up feeling like the victim. Thank you so much for your review. Alexis x
Comment from Malerie
Well, I'm wondering how this is going to go. Lisa has some evidence against her, the photos. Nick has lots of money so he may be able to buy his way out. I like the turn with Lisa and Richard but I would still like t see Lisa mature a bit. I fear she will end up back with Alan; that's how these stories usually go. Another good chapter; keep writing, I;m still reading.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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Well, I'm wondering how this is going to go. Lisa has some evidence against her, the photos. Nick has lots of money so he may be able to buy his way out. I like the turn with Lisa and Richard but I would still like t see Lisa mature a bit. I fear she will end up back with Alan; that's how these stories usually go. Another good chapter; keep writing, I;m still reading.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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Chapter 45 has the answer to that question. Lots of twists and turns to go in the last few chapters, I really hope you get the chance to read and hopefully enjoy. My thanks for your lovely review. Alexis x
Comment from debskatz
Hey alexis,
Very interesting chapter! And it certainly sets up for the next one also. I'm glad she'd gone back to school. She really needed to be somewhere safe & in the company of friends.
NO SPAG!! You go, girl!!
Off to the next one!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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Hey alexis,
Very interesting chapter! And it certainly sets up for the next one also. I'm glad she'd gone back to school. She really needed to be somewhere safe & in the company of friends.
NO SPAG!! You go, girl!!
Off to the next one!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2012
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Well, I could say it was all down to my wonderful command of the English language, but we would all know I was lying! Many thanks my friend, your help and encouragement is greatly appreciated.