Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "part 3, Chapter 16"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
89 total reviews
Comment from Janice65
This chapter appears to be perfectly written, as I saw no misspelled words or grammar errors. It is also quite exciting, and I will be looking for the next chapter (17). Telling a story such as this is not as easy as it seems and you have hit the good side of it. I felt as though I was there seeing the man being chased after attacking Anna.
I do not have any suggestions for improvement.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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This chapter appears to be perfectly written, as I saw no misspelled words or grammar errors. It is also quite exciting, and I will be looking for the next chapter (17). Telling a story such as this is not as easy as it seems and you have hit the good side of it. I felt as though I was there seeing the man being chased after attacking Anna.
I do not have any suggestions for improvement.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from RazberryBullet
Good news here :)--"I have a description of the truck and the license plate number. He finally made a mistake, thinking you were alone."
Scary all around!--Michael flew from her arms and landed on the hood. He slid and rested against Anna's body.
Excellent!
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Good news here :)--"I have a description of the truck and the license plate number. He finally made a mistake, thinking you were alone."
Scary all around!--Michael flew from her arms and landed on the hood. He slid and rested against Anna's body.
Excellent!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from hellion5
Great action! It could use a lttle more about what Anna's thinking and feeling while waiting for Troy to return after the attack. She had to be frightened, anxious.
Didn't find any spag.
Good chapter--
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Great action! It could use a lttle more about what Anna's thinking and feeling while waiting for Troy to return after the attack. She had to be frightened, anxious.
Didn't find any spag.
Good chapter--
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. That will come in the next post.
Comment from amada
Wow, such a fast paced and thrilling chapter. Good old Troy is such a joy to have him around. I can't wait till the next chapter, and who is behind that licence number!
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Wow, such a fast paced and thrilling chapter. Good old Troy is such a joy to have him around. I can't wait till the next chapter, and who is behind that licence number!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from tango494
Another amazing submission, I love how easy it is to get caught up in your narrative. You do such a wonderful job weaving such a natural story with believable characters. Great job!!!!
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Another amazing submission, I love how easy it is to get caught up in your narrative. You do such a wonderful job weaving such a natural story with believable characters. Great job!!!!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from JW
Boy. Isn't that certainly an act of someone desperate. The moment Troy was visible, Anne should have been left alone.
As usual, you did a great job of writing this. JW
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Boy. Isn't that certainly an act of someone desperate. The moment Troy was visible, Anne should have been left alone.
As usual, you did a great job of writing this. JW
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
Very fast moving, exciting and to the point. Enjoyed the short and carefully produced segment, though I did find an OOP. At the end of:
"Good, you're safe. I already called 911. The police are on their way.
YOU NEED AQUOATION MARK
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Very fast moving, exciting and to the point. Enjoyed the short and carefully produced segment, though I did find an OOP. At the end of:
"Good, you're safe. I already called 911. The police are on their way.
YOU NEED AQUOATION MARK
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. I edited that line and things got worse.
Comment from teacherdub
Enjoyed the continued plot and the intensity imbedded in this Chapter. Hoping the book will be received well when it is published. You have done a remarkable job on this important themed novel. Spousal abuse is so rampant these days. Good luck, and have a blessed day. td
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Enjoyed the continued plot and the intensity imbedded in this Chapter. Hoping the book will be received well when it is published. You have done a remarkable job on this important themed novel. Spousal abuse is so rampant these days. Good luck, and have a blessed day. td
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Let's hope this is the mistake that gets Bobby and his family out of the picture. Troy and his parents represent the best kind of friends for Anna. I think that is an excellent element in your fiction piece as it provides some relief from the tension of the abusive side of Anna's life. Well done, barbara. Bev
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Let's hope this is the mistake that gets Bobby and his family out of the picture. Troy and his parents represent the best kind of friends for Anna. I think that is an excellent element in your fiction piece as it provides some relief from the tension of the abusive side of Anna's life. Well done, barbara. Bev
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome, barbara.
Comment from emmaysavage
Good descriptions, not an unexpected development but you kept it interesting. I am interested in how Michael is handling all this. does he take on his mother's anxiety. Seems he feels safe with Troy.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Good descriptions, not an unexpected development but you kept it interesting. I am interested in how Michael is handling all this. does he take on his mother's anxiety. Seems he feels safe with Troy.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
