Valentine's Week
An amazing Valentine's Week9 total reviews
Comment from RebelRose
This is a very good entry for this Valentine's story contest. It is a sad but sweet story and I am so sorry for you that it is a true story. Very well written.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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This is a very good entry for this Valentine's story contest. It is a sad but sweet story and I am so sorry for you that it is a true story. Very well written.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for the encouragement and great review. -Judy
Comment from MAMONIA
You certainly pulled my heart strings
with this story. It is so very tender
and beautiful and I cannot thank you
enough for sharing this with us.
What a lovely valentine memory you
will have for a lifetime. Your loving
and caring for your husband did bring
special graces to you, like an angel.
God bless you for your tender soul.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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You certainly pulled my heart strings
with this story. It is so very tender
and beautiful and I cannot thank you
enough for sharing this with us.
What a lovely valentine memory you
will have for a lifetime. Your loving
and caring for your husband did bring
special graces to you, like an angel.
God bless you for your tender soul.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. Your comments are an encouragement. -Judy
Comment from Chris Davis
Ok, it's official. I cried. That was such a moving story about such a personal tragedy and yet symbol of love that will carry through your family like a heartbeat. Bless you.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Ok, it's official. I cried. That was such a moving story about such a personal tragedy and yet symbol of love that will carry through your family like a heartbeat. Bless you.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Thank you very much. -Judy
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:)
Comment from bkbehera
It is a nicely written fabulous tribute. Each ward of this non-fiction is heart touching and represents the amazing V-day of a couple made for each other. The writer has in impressive manner described the most critical moments of life in a delicate way. I am extremely impressed with this real facts and sincerely pray the God for the peace of the holy soul whose blessing would help the scientists involved in anti cancer drug discovery. Let the God bless you and your family.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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It is a nicely written fabulous tribute. Each ward of this non-fiction is heart touching and represents the amazing V-day of a couple made for each other. The writer has in impressive manner described the most critical moments of life in a delicate way. I am extremely impressed with this real facts and sincerely pray the God for the peace of the holy soul whose blessing would help the scientists involved in anti cancer drug discovery. Let the God bless you and your family.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Thank you for this kind review. -Judy
Comment from Eldercrone
Your story is both touching and well written, so I want to explain why I gave you four intend of five stars. I couldn't help but feel that the narrative was candy-coated. I'm fact, I read it twice to see if I would feel the same the 2nd time--I did. My sense was that it was so important to portray your faith that you neglected to share the grief and uncertainty? Dismay? fear? apprehension? that surely you must have felt at losing your husband, especially to cancer, which surely your readers will know is not a easy death. Some suggestions: In the paragraph about 40 anniversaries, give us an example or two of your ups and downs. Tell us how faith and prayer (I expect your prayers were numerous and heartfelt ) brought you to acceptance, resignation, peace and joy. Give us your struggle so that we can believe in your miracles. I suspect that people of faith, and maybe, even more, people without, are hungry to know how faith works in a crisis. I didn't feel that this was a crisis--your emotions were missing. I would love so see you add enough detail to make this piece visceral. You know your message is important; help us know it's important too!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Your story is both touching and well written, so I want to explain why I gave you four intend of five stars. I couldn't help but feel that the narrative was candy-coated. I'm fact, I read it twice to see if I would feel the same the 2nd time--I did. My sense was that it was so important to portray your faith that you neglected to share the grief and uncertainty? Dismay? fear? apprehension? that surely you must have felt at losing your husband, especially to cancer, which surely your readers will know is not a easy death. Some suggestions: In the paragraph about 40 anniversaries, give us an example or two of your ups and downs. Tell us how faith and prayer (I expect your prayers were numerous and heartfelt ) brought you to acceptance, resignation, peace and joy. Give us your struggle so that we can believe in your miracles. I suspect that people of faith, and maybe, even more, people without, are hungry to know how faith works in a crisis. I didn't feel that this was a crisis--your emotions were missing. I would love so see you add enough detail to make this piece visceral. You know your message is important; help us know it's important too!
Comment Written 11-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Thank you for this honest review and I can see what you mean. I think I will rework this a bit, but I have to think on it more. I wanted to show the love and not the heartbreak, but I guess then the story is only half told. Yes, the more I think on this the more I see you are correct. Thanks for telling me like it is, that doesn't happen on FanStory very often.
Comment from Rama Rao
Unlike other stories this is a sad story for valentine's day. I am sorry about Dave. Since it was a Valentine's day story, I read it with interest. To be honest, it could have been written better. First, the first part of the story about the plane trip and Gina was not relevant. The story could have started with Dave's sickness and the family's wish to be together.
Secondly, I noticed following spags.
1.blessings to-too
2.California, and-cut comma here.
3.Dave and I celebrated forty anniversaries.
4.stays, punctuated with-cut comma here.
5.and immediately unbuttoned her coat.-irrelevant.
6.semi-conscious? terminal diagnosis?
7.2010,
8.clean, and
9.For some reason,
10. for forty years,
12.cleaned, and, there,
And so on.
You wrote ring(s)- do you wear more than one.
I am sorry, but you need to brush this story.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Unlike other stories this is a sad story for valentine's day. I am sorry about Dave. Since it was a Valentine's day story, I read it with interest. To be honest, it could have been written better. First, the first part of the story about the plane trip and Gina was not relevant. The story could have started with Dave's sickness and the family's wish to be together.
Secondly, I noticed following spags.
1.blessings to-too
2.California, and-cut comma here.
3.Dave and I celebrated forty anniversaries.
4.stays, punctuated with-cut comma here.
5.and immediately unbuttoned her coat.-irrelevant.
6.semi-conscious? terminal diagnosis?
7.2010,
8.clean, and
9.For some reason,
10. for forty years,
12.cleaned, and, there,
And so on.
You wrote ring(s)- do you wear more than one.
I am sorry, but you need to brush this story.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Thank you for your comments, I am going to do more work on this. -Judy
Comment from anabellapongasi
Hi Judy,
I think it was amazing that you found your diamond. It was also very touching how your husband was able to express his last goodbye and for Katie to witness that too. (I remember she wrote something about that moment too)
Thank you for sharing this wonderful touching Valentine story.
Good luck in the contest:)
Anabella
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Hi Judy,
I think it was amazing that you found your diamond. It was also very touching how your husband was able to express his last goodbye and for Katie to witness that too. (I remember she wrote something about that moment too)
Thank you for sharing this wonderful touching Valentine story.
Good luck in the contest:)
Anabella
Comment Written 11-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Thank you, Anabella and yes, Katie wrote a poem about Ice Chips and Puckered Lips. It is closing in on the one year date and I wanted to get this story on paper so I would not forget. I appreciate your comments and your great memory. I will tell Katie. -Judy
Comment from jimbo starr
Nice pic, like 'ups and downs, rough seas and calm waters' totally gives me the power of the ocean and life. A caring and loving story that is both sad and inspiring. My only question is 'why do people refer to god as he?'. But still a heart felt write with a strong family bonding feel. You should do well in the comp. Makes one think on our short life we sometimes take for granted, especially health.Good with +++
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Nice pic, like 'ups and downs, rough seas and calm waters' totally gives me the power of the ocean and life. A caring and loving story that is both sad and inspiring. My only question is 'why do people refer to god as he?'. But still a heart felt write with a strong family bonding feel. You should do well in the comp. Makes one think on our short life we sometimes take for granted, especially health.Good with +++
Comment Written 11-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Thank you for this wonderful review and your kind words. For me, God is the loving father I never had and therefore 'he'. Thanks again. -Judy
Comment from ridinaround
This is a beautiful, sad and wonderful story. The telling is fine though it could be tightened up by leaving out the word "had" Always watch for the overuse of words including "I". But thank you for sharing this. I'm going to go kiss my husband of 30 years now.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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This is a beautiful, sad and wonderful story. The telling is fine though it could be tightened up by leaving out the word "had" Always watch for the overuse of words including "I". But thank you for sharing this. I'm going to go kiss my husband of 30 years now.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2012
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Thank you for your comments and kind review. I will check out my overuse of "I". -Judy
